Dear Elsa,
The post about the 19 year old who fears sexual intimacy really hits home. I’m 23 and have the same panic-like behavior. I’ve held off from having sex despite a strong desire and need for it, due to a very strict upbringing. And not being able to have an outlet for this sexuality is killing me. I have a sun in Aries, ascendant in Scorpio. A 23 year old Scorpio rising that’s still a virgin, this does not seem normal.
Virgin
USSR
Dear Virgin,
There is no such thing as “normal” when it comes to sex. “Typical”, maybe. Usual or unusual, perhaps. But “normal” is a value judgment so it’s completely invalid. Because the line between normal and abnormal depends entirely on whom you ask.
Now in your case, you are an Aries (ruled by Mars) with a Scorpio rising (ruled by Mars). This means the condition of Mars in your chart is of enormous import. And Mars rules sex by the way, and considering the way you’re blocked I am not even remotely surprised to see an exact opposition between Saturn (delay, fear, restriction, oppression) and your Mars (sex, aggression, anger, raw male energy).
So what this means is your chart is working perfectly. You are living one manifestation of these two energies combined… but there are countless other ways to live. Take cornmeal. The Italians take cornmeal and make polenta which they douse in red sauce. Other cultures take essentially the same ingredients and make cornmeal mush, which they fry and serve with butter and syrup.
Still other cultures make porridge etc. etc. and you get the point. You have certain ingredients to work with, but you do not have to live polenta, polenta, polenta. There is a whole world out there, but what you must do if you want to access it is face your fear!
I would say you are gripped with fear and the way around this is to take over the parent role (Saturn) in your own life. See, you have some authority, your family background, your religion or whatever it is, oppressing you. And it will stay exactly as it is, until and unless you decide to fight back (use your Mars!) and overthrow the internal government that has you pinned to the mat.
So that’s what I would do. Because you’re right. A Mars-ruled woman like you should be out there not only hunting, but heroically conquering.
Good luck.
I am also an Ascendant in Scorpio and Sun in Aries. I am 22 and still a virgin too. Haha. So I understand what you are going through. Just letting you know you are not alone. Good luck to the both of us…
Haha, well, I’m Ascendant in Scorpio too, but my Sun is in Libra. I, on the other hand, am waiting for only the right man, meaning my future husband. =) No one else will do. 😉
Hmm dear Elsa..could this be Scorpio related ?
I thought it could be my sun sign(governed by Saturn)delaying “things”: )…I’m 24..and,although I’m sexually initiated,until now I’ve always refrained from actual intercourse.Technically a virgin?:)
Oh yes…my rising’s Scorpio.
I’m a Sun and Rising sign Scorpio, and I was also a virgin until I was 22. That was four years ago and I still have problems with intimacy. I’m guessing it’s gonna be a long road ahead for me to feel comfortable with sex and intimacy.
I am also an Ascendant in Scorpio and Sun in Aries,unbeleiveable but I was virgin until I was 28.I still have problems with intimacy.Maybe it’s scorpio related smth or saturn.
I as well am Scorpio rising with a sun in Aries. I was a virgin until I was 22, and have enormous amounts of sexual energy. Sometimes I don’t know what to do with it all. My saturn is also opposite my mars.
I am Scorpio rising and Aries Sun too, and I was a tremendous slut in my younger days. Maybe that’s my Mars-Neptune opposition at work. Looooooooove sex.
There is Nothing wrong with being a Virgin and waiting for the right person or marriage for sex..no need to be a slut or whatever just like what is “the typical” out there. just because your sign may say you are sexual doesn’t mean you have to be like everyone else. You don’t have to be an animal and act on physical instinct just because someone jumps on you.. you have a brain too…. work it and find other ways to vent your energies, maybe something to help for the future instead of making your future doomed with the possibility of std’s or preganacy..think about it.. is it really worth it to be like “the typical”
Hey, I also am an Aries with Scorp rising, I’ve been dealing with intimacy issues for a while, to the point where I will cut it off so I don’t feel the burden brought about by it, on the other hand I fantasize about it constantly, my Mars squares venus in taurus, and uranus in scorpio…
Im a gay male Scorp Rising w/ Aries sun who lost my virginity to a girl at 19. My early to mid twenties I was promiscuous. Now in my late twenties i havent had a date in over 2 years. I do have intimacy issues but only w/ guys im not attracted to.
Sun in Aries, Scorpio rising….It’s surprising to see so many people saying they have intimacy issues which I also have but never associated that with this rising/sun sign combination. I am, however, pretty intense, sensitive, and can be very secretive.
I like being in charge of what goes on in the bedroom as vulnerability does not come naturally to me. But with someone I’ve deemed trustworthy they get to see what I’m really made of. I was a virgin until age 19 and then lost it with a guy a bit younger than me. I was an absolute slut after that for many years. Lost count of the number of lovers I’ve had. I’m naturally very good at sensing what turns people on and doing whatever comes to mind! That Aries knack for experimentation comes in very handy sexually!
Welcome mediageek! 🙂
same here; i also have scorpio mars and aquarius jupiter squaring each other (as well as a whole lot of other planets doing that), so i think i may end up as the 40 year old virgin; but at least i won’t have to worry about STD’s…
sun in aries, rising sun probabily scorpio; english not my first language, so…. anyway, 33 virgin, sincerily partly due to personal beliefs and partly due to local facts ( ramificated story). I`ve read what has been said here above and I`m convinced that meantaining your self virgin or behaving “slut – like” might have something to do with planets in natal horoscope but might have much more to do with personal upbringing, personal religious beliefs, etc. The truth is we are human beings, the only ones in God`s creation on Earth able to grasp the idea that there is a GOD and to have a spiritual inner life. we have been offered the greatest gift here on Earth and “doing it”, just like that, just because birds and bees do it also, seems to me somewhat of a lack of respect for that beautiful gift.In behaving like that ( having sex for the love of sex)we follow the “call” of the flesh, therefor we act more like the animals and there is that lack of respect for the gift of beeing humans.There are those who say that sex is another form of love. I think that if a relationship needs the chemical mediators offered by a sex in order to consolidate itself and furthermore to evolve and to grow, than that relationship was founded on the wrong basis. Meaning not on mutual respect and affection and commitment to respect and to support each other. In my opinion, such commitment should be there in a relationship right from the begining, not just from the moment of “I do”. If it is not there from the begining, than those two people didn`t join each other to see if they have something in comun and if there is a chanse for things to work out between the 2 of them. They only got together because of and with the purpose of sexual attraction. When things will go rough they`ll just jump in bed for a quick one and, after that, because of the chemical mediators, will see “la vie en rose” and imagine they have worked it out. or , they’ll jump in another bed, to change the landscape, for whatever logic might there be. They will not really wish or know how to solve the pb, so they will not do whatever has to be done in order to save the relationship, or there might be no solve to the pb, cause they got together for the wrong reasons. If, on the other hand, one makes the difference between sex and real affection/love/commitment to the relationship and does not include sex before the right moment, the result will be a somewhat not so active sexual life but also, knowing for a fact if it is or not the real thing, THE ONE. There will be some who will make silly, rude remarcs (geek, frigid, …) but than again, the world will always be satiated with certain kinds of “smart”, “cool” people that can’t make the difference between what truly matters and what doesn’t. In the end, doing what is really beneficial for you is most important, and I for one, don’t see how wasting your time and energy and in some cases, even hopes, feelings in a relationship that doesn’t make the difference between sex and mutual respect/affection or is only about sex, can be beneficial for you, on the long term. In the end, in case someone has doubts, let me say that I don’t judge those who bring sex in a relationship before the right moment (whatever that might be for each in part), nor those who choose to wait and see. But I personally belive that since we are human beings, we should not over look the truly important part of the human life – spirituality, respect for the others and for ourselves as human beings, affection – the kind that survives the decades and can be seen in 80-90 year old people, that still hold hands, even during ordinary day to day activities, and not necesarily because they heve forgotten to take the orthopedic frame to walk. Such long lasting affection didn’t need sex to consolidate and obviously, survived long after sex was actually still hapening. And one more thing: keeping your self virgin untill “I do” and “recuperating” the fasting period after, makes no sense to me . Hope you had patience to read all this and you understand what I tried to say..
Sun in Aries, Scorpio Ascendant here. mars in taurus, saturn in scorpio. kept mine until i was 16. i was quite promiscuous after that. it kinda comes naturally with me so i identified with it very easily. then again im a guy. my virginity at that age was like something i was happy to rid myself of instead of a hidden treasure to be held on to. the act itself is the treasure that has many depths i’ve learned to understand with age since. i personally believe it’s a merging of two energies completely.
Oh i am Sun Scorpio, more specific quadruple Scoripo (sun moon mercury and pluto) with aries in mars and rising… I think i understand what happens here, i mean i like fooling around but not when it comes to sex for me it’s a very important bound to make so it just happened that i am still a virgin and i am nearly 24 🙂
But i think this will change soon… i am a guy by the way!
I am a scorpio and was a virgin till I was 19 I now wish I kept my viriginty the libra I lost it to was also a virgin and 19 he is terriable in bed I was better off with my hand my advice . Be happy with your hand only person who can take care of a scorpio is The scorpio hahahahaha! It’s way heathier
This is so odd. I stumbled upon this page and low and behold, I’m 23 and still a virgin. I’m an Aries sun, Scorpio rising and both my Mars and Saturn are in Aquarius. It’s weird because I’ve dated a lot and have had tons of “boyfriends” but I’ve never went all the way with any of them. I seem to have a lot of sexual energy but I am scared of the intimacy that comes along with releasing it all. I’ll probably be the 40 year old virgin lady with 100 cats lol. Glad to see I’m not the only one though (although this is a super old post). And I find it to be so weird that there were so many older virgins even with the two most “highly-sexed” signs together in their chart. Really interesting.
Welcome. 🙂
Curious to know the Saturn placements of older virgins … 8th house, anyone?
Hi there! I’m still learning astrology so I’m not familiar with all the different houses yet lol but my Saturn placement is Aquarius. Do you think that may have something to do with being an older virgin perhaps?
I think maybe it’s more your Aquarius Mars. I don’t think 23 is too old to be a virgin (I saw your earlier post). It just might be your energies are directed toward other things at this time in your life. Your releases are elsewhere. You’ll do it in your own time, with your own belief system.
It is Scorpio Asc., trust me. There are similar forums floating about the web and majority are Scorpio Asc ppl (no matter the sun, moon, etc.)
Oh shit dis me what a coincidence