I was just talking to denamaria yesterday, we have similar natures. Lots of Cap and Libra that is. I told her about some people who betrayed me and she told me about some people who betrayed her.
We agreed over the audacity of people who do this kind of thing and still talk to you. What the hell are they thinking?
denamaria lost her job awhile back, you may recall. She’s recovered since because she’s an excellent worker but has learned that her “friends” orchestrated it. They told her all about it; how they had to screw her up to save themselves. They are now out of work too and expecting sympathy. They obviously felt their actions were justified since they’re talking all about it and it just goes to show the variance in the standards people have.
“Why do people do this to us?” I asked. “They must think we can take it, is that it?”
She thought maybe it was.
“I think they think you’re nice,” I said. “You’re seen as nice so no one thinks you’ll go off on them. Oh, denamaria, she won’t mind. They may think the same about me, I don’t know but I am not that damned nice though, ya know?” She laughed. “Yeah, polite is one thing but if you betray me, the credits roll on our relationship.”
Do you know anyone like this? Someone who people believe will put up with whatever and overlook their bullshit?
I know a lot of people like this. In fact most everyone I know is like this and I can tell you if you’re dealing with a person of integrity and you don’t have integrity, they’re definitely going to notice. They are also definitely going to care as well, even if they’re polite about it
. Do you think, denamaria said, “Look you bitches…” I am sure she just excused herself which is exactly what I’d have done.
Do Libra types invite betrayal? How about sturdy Capricorns? What characteristics lead someone to believe a person will ignore or overlook their betrayal?
“I think they think you’re nice,” I said. “You’re seen as nice so no one thinks you’ll go off on them. Oh, denamaria, she won’t mind.”
People seemed to think this about me for years, because it usually takes me a long time to go off on someone – although I flat-out ignored someone who betrayed me when I was nineteen.
I only have Pluto in Libra, ruling my asc, and Moon conjunct Venus square Mars in Pisces.
Good question. I’m not sure what it is, but I’ve had it happen to me, too. I just bow out as best I can and then amputate them.
I know two people (or more accurately… KNEW two people) who behaved this way. They believed that people would put up with their crap and just overlook it or excuse it. One of them was a Libra, and the other was a Scorpio.
I think it says more about the person/people who do the betraying, than the one who gets betrayed. Sure, maybe (but not always) sometimes the betrayed emits something that says “walk all over me, I won’t bite back” but that still isn’t an invitation to do so if you have a moral compass. Also, people who think they can get away with betraying another just because they *think* the other will stand there and take it, don’t know very much about human nature, IMO. Common sense tells me it’s the meek and mild people you need to keep from pissing off/betraying. But try to tell that to someone who lacks the judgment to think they could screw another person over without ramifications.
Maybe mars in Taurus cause we are slow to anger… But eventually we do. Or Pisces/Neptune because they believe we are like them and so it’s ok. Do onto others as u would?
Well they are wrong. I may be slow to anger and it may take me awhile to see through the fog that I should be. But when I am or do I an GONE. disappeared. Unreachable even if standing right next to u.
Oh, just to be clear, I’m not saying denamarie is meek and mild…just saying in general that those who betray the seemingly meek and mild types are lacking people smarts. Meek and mild doesn’t mean the person will allow everyone to walk all over them. Usually, it just means the person is an observer, and therefore, probably has your number much better than you think.
Those who did this to denamarie also lack common wisdom and must have huge blind spots they’ve conveniently erected to absolve themselves of seeing their own roles in this scenario. I don’t understand blind spots because Saturn doesn’t let me get away with having them for very long. It feels that way, anyhow. I always know I’ll end up being accountable when it comes down to it, so I don’t understand others who operate without seeming to realize this.
I dunno know about Cappy, but Saturn is saying this to me right now, “you have understood and allied with their point of view on everything before, why would this be any different. Once they EXPLAIN things to you, you’ll be alright with it like you are every other time. You will understand.”
Now, what do you think? Does Libra invite betrayal? I think we advertise for it.
She is not at all meek or mild but she is very definitely nice and the repercussions of crossing her aren’t going to be dramatic.
I am the same unless you go after my husband or my family in any way, shape or form. Cross me in that way and it’s game on, to the death if necessary.
Anything less, I don’t care. I just leave.
It tracks back to what my mother said growing up – the worst thing that can happen is when decent people want nothing to do with you.
I’m sorry, I have to come back to this. I think Libra needs to understand that just because you can SEE the other’s point of view and understand the reasoning of how they got there it DOES NOT make those reasons valid or good! It just means that you can see how they came to their decisions. Now make your OWN decision. Is that behavior you want to mimic? No? Then quit telling them about how you understand and how “i can see that” and start letting them know..that is some debunk reasoning ya got there. Good luck with that.
josi, I am not sure who you are addressing.
I wasn’t addressing anyone. I was just saying that outloud because it was a hard lesson for me to learn. I’m bettin there is someone else out there who doesn’t know they are dealing with it. Maybe they will hear it over my snorkeling.
lol, Josi. Thank you!
I have never considered Libras pushovers. My libra sister was always gracious and kind. She was fair. But she didn’ accept betrayal. A lot of people thought she was a push over. But she wasn’t.
denamaria!! i was thinking about her this week and wondering what was up…glad for your post and update, elsa…
… yes, i think libra’s invite betrayal…as do capricorns….for caps… working hard, having intergrity & being good at what you do…for libra’s ….being considerate, polite and thoughtful towards others (libra) ….this draws jealousy…and if you’re ‘nice’…you easily become the “dartboard of collective insecurities and unfullfillment” (…from a libra moon lady who knows too well)
i’ve seen caps and libras, and some with both, who were betrayed….and it only made them stronger … albeit more guarded and savvy….in a couple of cases they left businesses and started their own…in another case, switched career tracks…and it all turned out for the best
wishing denamarie much happiness!!
I think it’s exactly what you said, Elsa. To relate to my own experience as a Libra Rising, I think people viewed me as friendly and understanding and nice so they took advantage. I also think they were just dumb as hell and thought I did not notice their bad behavior and treatment toward me, which of course I didn’t. Unfortunately, I allowed this to go on for a number of years, but no longer, thank God!
which of course I did*
Yes, it could have been me writing this 🙂
Funnily enough, I got an email today from someone who betrayed me about 18 months ago. She tried to justify her actions at the time so I cut her off completely. She never realised that all I wanted was an apology for her disloyalty; it seems she didn’t think she’d done anything wrong and I was supposed to understand her weakness (I’d always been the ‘big sister’ in the relationship).
Still no apology though. Some people seem to think if they let enough time pass all will be as it was. But I have a code now, that I didn’t use to have in my nicey nice younger days – until you recognise my position in this matter and acknowledge it (you don’t have to agree with it, just acknowlege it)I cannot re-engage with you.
It’s about personal integrity and loyalty to myself. Cap and Libra here too.
“We agreed over the audacity of people who do this kind of thing and still talk to you.”
A version of this has been happening to me for the past two weeks. There were about 5 people who betrayed me over a period of the last 5 years.
I cut them all off immediately after the betrayal and they keep trying to come back!
All of them contacted me last via social media, my website, email etc..sending me these long rambling messages telling me that they miss me and the tone was so upbeat and cheerful – like nothing ever happened.
And I am thinking/feeling – are these people all on some new potent form of crack?
I think that when you start to say “What aspect of me is it that invites betrayal?” (whether it be being a libra, a redhead, whatever), then you’re saying that something about YOU is the reason it happened. Rather, I think that people who get bullied or betrayed have done nothing to deserve it, rather it shows more about the person who did the action. To bring it to a much larger scale, a rape victim does nothing to “invite” rape upon her, but it’s the rapist that is the cause. Even assuming that you were mean (or that a rape victim “dressed slutty”), that isn’t a reason or an invitation. The buck stops at the person performing the action.
“And I am thinking/feeling – are these people all on some new potent form of crack?”
LOL! LMAO!
Hi Josie,
I have done that too. Sometimes I can see the misunderstanding, fear, pain, whatever behind the actions.
Oshun, I got twinkling stars around my name and a promise of everlasting friendship and love. Huh?
Hi Everybody,…..I thought I would put my two cents in on this one….Elsa is right…part of it is the niceness of Libra, but I am a Capricorn and have plenty of it in my chart….Sun, Jupiter, Saturn and Merc….so if this comes across as very businesslike, that’s cause it is…..My mother always said to never burn bridges, one never knows when they will be needing those who crossed you again in another scenario. I have been really battling this one over the last 6 months (quite a bit of quiet time contemplating) because my Libra Moon does want to be polite and keep things respectful and not get into a knockdown, dragged out, vicious, anxiety driven attack, but Capricorn gets tough….meaning I get tough with myself and I smile and walk away politely, as Elsa said, but communication is gone…lost and no more Sunday dinner invitations, or girl’s night out or weekend get-aways. Betraying me has turned out to be like betraying Santa Claus….you see, I have Leo Rising, so I can be alot of fun to hang out with and if you are in my circle…we have alot of fun….Stellium in the 5th….and this (I have learned) hurts more than people expect and they don’t know it till it happens and then they realize….uh, oh….bad call on that one…it has happened a few times….and there is no going back, unless you are my sister and then you have a couple of chances.
I don’t want to get all emotional and lose connections that I may need on another level…or another phase of my life….one never knows how our paths will cross again, but I want my side clean of any bad ill from my part. How Capricorn does that sound?! hahaha….
I realize I may have repeated myself in this, but I don’t want to go back and change it….this is very thought provoking stuff Elsa writes about on her blog.
Glad to see you here, denamaria. I fixed your name. 🙂 I really appreciate you candor – the part about being your sister, I mean. It’s so true.
see how long it has been since I have been around….can’t even sign in correctly
I’m fixed 5/5/55 not much cap natal eclipses and
ceres, no libra, I just lost my job in march and I was set up! I’ve dealt w/ betrayal all my life
and I have never been able to understand it. Over the past 10+ years instead of standing up I have
become more of an introvert for fear of betrayal
but it still happens. Some of us just attract these jerks and I’d love to know the denominator.
I just hope these assholes I’ve dealt with get a pluto transit on thier node as I have since pluto
entered sag, I been afraid to even befriend a dog since, pluto in cap ain’t exactly comin up roses
either.
(((denamaria)))
This has really got me. Even after my long in-the-woods walks I’m not sure how to sort “Betrayal” Perhaps it’s because when you live 60+ years like I have, I have been Betrayed and Betrayed others.
Capricorn is large in my chart and I appear that way with goat on the ascendent and Saturn in the power-houses 8th and 10th. I keep a lot of the emotional cap on with Capricorn Moon and in my early years I was called the ‘nun’ by my brother who say me as nice.
Betrayals are painful and it may be my Cappy moon that stuffs the pain down so skillfully, and too long before the volcano blows (all that Scorp-Saturn 8th and 10th). I used to ‘just walk’, but there’s that smoldering volcano wherever I went.My Libra 9th philosophy waxes and wanes with Neptune in there natally, so it’s all about the journey.
When I got very sick, the environment and people triggered symptoms not on the charts. I started calling people on their BETRAYALS. They said, “Ha? It couldn’t be me…” Sickness is a funny source of contradiction: did i make myself sick or are they making me sick?
I’m healing and the definition of betrayal is one of the things that heals or shouts to be healed because if I’m not sure of my beliefs about the notion, chances are the healing continues to fester.
Long story … no real conclusion. Thanks Elsa and Denamarie for the examples. There aren’t always easy conclusions.
I don’t have libra in personal planets, but boy does this happen to me, and yeah I just remove myself, I for sure am seen as “nice” and I really don’t know how to be otherwise, but lack of integrity is hard for me to get over.
Let me share this then I’ll shut up. My older sister has ALWAYS got everything I wanted and has
everything I ever wanted & been never betrayed, she walks
in a room and people actually light up, she has libra sun, mercury retro mid libra conjunct neptune and opposite ERIS conjunct lilth and north node, south node of course libra. My venus 14 aries,her jupiter 22 cap opposite my jupiter / uranus 22 conjunction cancer. please don’t say boohoo, it just seems like ERIS is her best friend.
So similar to denamaria. Cap Stellium in the 5th with Leo rising. Same betraying Santa Claus thing happens to me too. The peeps generally try to make a comeback when their feelings take them by surprise. I find it hard to deal with the betrayal though. It takes me a long time to recover. And once I’ve amputated, they are toast.
I try not to worry about the burning bridges scenario as I figure that once someone has damaged me they have broken my trust.
I have Mars in Libra opposing Saturn and I deal with this a lot!! People mistake politeness for stupidity,hahahaha! I too will let them dig their hole and walk away or sometimes I just blow when they least expect it!
Yeah, I was going to reply to this earlier. LIbra appears to be type that can be picked off easily but as time goes on you figure out you kind of trashed one of your best friendships and you really probably won’t ever find one like it again.
No one will really ever find a better friend than a Libra and on top of this someone who is end-of-the-earth ethical and considerate in their treatment of you ( no talking behind your back, no “frenemy” crap, no stealing your boyfriend or flirting with him and pretending they don’t know what they’re talking about, no competitive elbow-jabbing..etc) , so whatever types like these do to fuck us over they see their mistake fairly quickly. Now they’re all stuck with each other.
First, I’m sorry to read of so many betrayals, its saddening. Especially since it was something I had to deal with for any reason I’ll never accept. Sorry for the long post. And, as cheesy as this sounds, I pray for your happiness (meditating actually).
I have no Libra (except 5th house), but the Librans I know are genuinely nice people who share my Aquarian “everyone should be my friend” ideologies. I’ve noticed they also are tactical in their approach, in an observant way. My bf is Moon Libra, and I’ve always admired his ability to get along with everyone! Hes been betrayed hard, and its only that which motivated him to be less accepting.
People who have core natures of mean spirited and are on the lookout for ways to manipulate everyone, almost always play wolf in sheeps clothing. I was once an easy target as I’ve Moon in Cancer, and very sensitive. The Cap parts of me provides a strong moral backing, and heavy Aqua makes me out going and I want to believe in my “friends”. Sad when it turns out they’ve used me and turned everyone against me w lies. Suddenly everyone had this picture of me that this Wolf had made. it took a long time to realize anyone that believed the Wolf had never been friends. And the person I am fights tje good fight, I guess. Amputation to all associated and a lesson to listen to my Libra Moon bf intuition, and to never let someone like that change my core self, or steal my joy because thats what they wanted. I am more cautious though, naturally, even with multiple year friends. However, when I’m out of this crab shell again, healed, I’m still believing in the good of humanity. The evil are always there never evolving spiritually.
Thank you, Elsa. 🙂
i always thought it was a neptune thing…
Have this problem myself and I guess my chart is no help. Mars in cancer (introverted anger that turns into depression), 12th house sun (understanding the obsure side of others and making it pop-up), virgo rising (too helpful, too clean-cut in social interactions), a stellium in libra..But I assign it to my issues with boundary-drawing and with despising unpleasantness(besides libra stellium, my venus is in first). However, lately libra Saturn seems to be giving me some lessons to cherish on how to speak up for myself and clean my relationships mess..
As far as libran types are concerned, yes I think they are prone to being betrayed without fear of consequences cause they seem too nice and negotiable. For capricorns (judging from the ones I know) I wouldn’t say that. They are more into a “those who don’t respect me will fear me” mode, at least in public affairs. And if someone is interfering with their plans, they will just get rid of him/her. Just like the scorpios I know. Maybe the acquarians too. Just with different ways each.
The “friend” who betrayed me the most in the last 10 years was a Scorpio with 4 planets in Libra (Venus, Mars, Pluto, Uranus in the 7th). So–I don’t know. I think she just had energy gone bad. Period. But I let her betray me multiple times before I amputated her. Having her as a friend was treacherous. Her Libra just wanted to pretend she wasn’t fucking me over?
I have done that before (just let people walk all over me). I really don’t know why. I hate telling people when they’ve wronged me. I’d rather just carry on and try to forget about it. Capricorn Moon?
I once had a friend (cough) who told me I made an easy target (I have alot of people tell me they’re scared of me too, so go figure). I’ve given this alot of thought and concluded that if I have the choice of being China or Tibet I’ll be a Tibetan everytime. If people want to make me a target it shows their true character and gets them scratched off my friends list.
I think jealousy fuels betrayal, sparks it even. And I think Libras AND Caps react awkwardly to jealousy, not sharply and promplty enough, I think that, in part, sort of “attracts” betrayal. Just a thought, coming from a libra with saturn rising.
f – that’s an interesting observation. Thanks you. 🙂