Dear Elsa,
I am in love with a guy who is 16 years younger than me, I have not told him this, although since we are really good friends I have told him I love him in the way friends can. He is with another girl, and I would never do anything to break it up, but I long for him with everything in me.
Since I do genuinely love him I won’t do anything that might interfere with his life, but I cannot figure out how to stop this longing, and the pain I feel when he is with his girlfriend.
Can you advise me how to get over him or what to do? I am not immature, although in fact this is the first time in my life I have been in love. I was married for 23 years, had seven children, and loved my husband, but was never in love with him.
I do not want to accidentally make a fool of myself in front of him, or embarrass him by saying something inappropriate, but unless I get over these feelings I fear slipping up.
Five Planets in Capricorn
Ireland
Dear Capricorn,
It is common to see age difference in couples who have strong Cancer or Capricorn in their chart. Same thing when there are a lot of planets in the fourth and/or tenth houses as these signs and house represent the parental axis and people with a focus there have parent/child themes in their relationships across the board. So I would talk this relationship serious if only it were an actual relationship – but it’s not.
This man is partnered with somebody else… period. There is no indication he had any romantic interest in you whatsoever so I have to conclude you are having a pure fantasy here which is also shown in your chart as you are a Virgo rising which means delusion… er, Pisces rules the seventh – the partner.
Now I am sorry if this is harsh but there are other things that pop out in your note. For example you say he is with another girl but you are not a girl. You are almost 50 years old and this is not a “girl” in my book.
I am glad you wrote, glad you are concerned about embarrassing yourself and I would urge you to let go of the notion you “love” this man unless of course you would like to pine. But yeah. Think hard before you say anything to him because if you do he is liable to be embarrassed, somewhat creeped out and he will almost definitely run for the hills.
I say recognize this as a fantasy and start looking for a new situation.
Good luck.