Friday, talking to the soldier with Jupiter conjunct Pluto…
“It wouldn’t do anyone any good to have you die, P.”
I didn’t answer because I was stewing, deeply.
“P?”
“Yeah, I’m here,” I said. We were on the phone. “I am not worried about what is good for other people,” I said. “I do too much of that as it is.”
“Yeah you do but you still can’t die,’ he said.
“Yeah?” I snorted. “Why is that?”
“It’s because there are too many people out there who have you for their light. Yeah, you’re the light for a lot of people, including me. You are the light for me too and we just can’t afford to lose you right now. Your light is just too important to have it go out so you are just going to have to keep going through this and whatever else happens.”
I didn’t say anything.
“P, you know I’m right.”
“Yeah. Can we talk about something else now? What did you have for lunch? Did you have a good lunch? My head hurts from all this so just tell me about your food.”
Do you feel your life has meaning?
Oh whoa, Elsa, that’s a pretty heavy question for a Tuesday!
It damn well better. The Jupiter-Pluto conjunction is semi-square my Scorpio Moon which is natally squared by Pluto! I am smiling as I write this 🙂 !
yes, but sometimes it’s hard to remember
I agree with Doreen. It damn well better! I can’t tell you what my purpose is though. I’m just going to keep going on the assumption that God doesn’t make mistakes and s/he made me for some specific reason. Besides, it secretly pleases me that my continued presence in this world daily annoys certain heartless people! LOL
sometimes. ask me in twenty years.
i imagine it does for other people, though.
Unequivocally. I choose for it to have meaning.
Cassi I’m happy for you that you are grateful 🙂
Yep. When I was younger I thought I was going to be the savior of the world or something (talk about a Jupiter conjunct Sun conjunct Neptune all-in-5th-house complex).
Now that I am a very little bit older and wiser I still think that I will have something to do in this world but it has more to do with my willingness to take on some crap.
Elsa, you know… the soldier is dead on. 🙂 It’s funny how being the light means taking on a lot of darkness, though.
I´m Gemini, my life has different meanings. And I guess I could skip the rest of it anytime and the meaning (s);-) would still stick.
Elsa, I´d personally hate somebody tell me not to die, especially when I´m all fed up and eager to leave – but I´m glad you´ve got the Soldier. He´s doing the job for all of us…
Lots of love from Germany.
Hmm, meaning..meaning what? My life doesnt have meaning that i can think of but life, in general, can, like if i see an outstanding sunset, it awes me. It has no meaning as such but is hugely beautiful and touches me. And maybe thats what the soldier is saying..you’re a beautiful light that touches lots of people and even though we know the light is flickering right now, and understandably so, noone wants that light to go out. Its hard when you’re in the dark to find the light switch but keep feeling for it and you will find it. Think of Persephone..she has to spend half her life in darkness but when she’s there she rules the school until such time she can return to the light.
nope not one bit. I feel like I am on a ride and some days wish this ride would stop so I could get off and find a new ride one that I like.
I got goose-bumps reading what the soldier had to say. He’s right you know. I do hope you realize how valued you are. How important. How appreciated.
Elsa, there were a few key people that got me through the darkest period of my life… and you were one of them. Thank you sooo much for being you. =)
It’s Pluto that creates that feeling.
Ripples in a pond, if you leave too early it is not good. It took me a long time to understand the concept of sins of ommission – you are supposed to make life a beautiful garden (very Taurus – I know) but beauty means something… it all means something… signed a former French Nihilist who finally saw the light 🙂
I am convinced I died too young in a former life
Why were you a nihilist, what are sins of omission?
Yes!…but if I could wear a ‘I believe in Pluto button’ it might have more!
Hi Dina, good question. A lot of people I had known had died, and at the time I was an immature person. I had artistic leanings and was very drawn to the french. A sin of ommission is a Christian thought – it means you did not do something that God sent you to do on the planet, and people suffered because of it. It is just another way of saying human life is important.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Omission
Elsa – sorry for hijacking your story.