Dear Elsa,
My hubby is or has been looking to have an affair. He takes sex stimulants to arouse himself. He becomes a sex fiend and can go on sexually for one or two hours, which I enjoy immensely. I do give in to his requests occasionally just so my needs are met; then afterwards he goes online searching for sexual encounters in our area as well as bisexual.
Even though I’ve caught him many times, he either acts stupid, doesn’t know who is sending him the sites’ info, or tries to put it back in my lap when I don’t give him the sex he craves right then and there. Or lies straight to my face and states he won’t do it anymore. But he still does.
He’s used my debit card to purchase or buy sexual stuff without my consent, then acts stupid when called on about it. Is he purposely trying to hurt me this bad? This and his constant lying are his only faults. Other then these issues, he’s great! He’s 43, I’m 48, my second marriage, his first.
Please help,
Wife
Dear Wife,
No. I don’t think your husband is purposely trying to hurt you. As a matter of fact, I don’t think he’s thinking about you at all. Go back up and read your post. I see no evidence he is thinking of anyone but himself, do you?
I think you are married to a sexually addicted narcissistic thief. But you say he’s “great” so how can I argue that?
You have Venus and Mars in Aquarius yourself. So maybe this experimental, open, sex/love relationship is just right for you. Maybe it’s interesting for you to see how far out he’ll go. And you are the only one who can decide that, but no… what he is doing is not personal to you. As a matter of fact, I can’t see how it could possibly be less personal to you.
Good luck.
Please do what you can to protect yourself from STDs, Wife! This is a very dangerous game to keep your head in the sand about.
Dear Wife, After may years of seeking extramarital sex and becoming depressed from the anxiety such behavior created, I was professionally diagnosed as having a sexual addiction. It sounds like your husband has some of the classic signs of sexaul addiction, and I can tell you from first hand experience that he wont stop until (1) he recognizes his situation and accepts responsibility for his behavior; and (2) he gets professional treatment. There are many good websites that deal with sexual addiction, so I encourage you to study up. Ps….Much to many people’s surprise, sexual addiction is NOT a good thing and can lead to very serious consequences if left unaddressed.
Excuse me but where is the caring, sharing and concern for your needs and have you expressed them? Sounds to me of the ‘older gen’ that he doesn’t know what the contract of marriage is about.
Maybe you need to clear with yourself about the length of time he takes to please you or himself and why he needs continue online after having such a great time with you. I wonder what emotional hole he is trying to fill. John Lee has a couple of titles that might help his website is http://www.flyingboy.com
Not knowing where your moon is I doubt this behaviour is enhancing your relationship.
In addition to Venus squaring Mars in a natal chart, another “cheater” aspect is asteroid #3 Juno squaring asteroid #80 Sappho. A 12H Venus or Mars might also reference “hidden” women or money (Venus) or men (Mars).