I was talking to my friend, Ben the other night…
“You know those people who are drive in front of other people and mess with them?” he said. ” They speed up when you want to pass. They slow down to force you to slow down. They’re always looking in the rear-view mirror to see what you’re doing.”
“Yes.”
“They’re looking in the rear-view mirror, because they’ve got to know everything you’re doing or trying to do, instead of focusing on what they’re doing. There’s a lot of people out there like that. I don’t know why they don’t just drive their car, instead of looking back at me, staring, trying to figure out what I want to do so they can try to stop me…”
Ben has Mars in Pisces trine Mercury in Scorpio. He likes to flow.
Are you offensive in this way? How much energy to you expend worrying about how you’re going to thwart others?
Yeah, but how about that guy *behind you* that’s tailgating even though you’re behind a slow car??
:))
I’m one of those people. Only when the guy behind me acts like a twat thought. For example, 75 was backed up last weekend — huge wreck. We’re trickling through. There’s hundreds of cars backed up. The guy behind me starts acting like a tool and honks (like I have any control over this). She’s flailing around back there, generally freaking out.
But you know what I do have control over? Whether my car is in your way when the traffic finally starts to move…
When the drivers next to me realized what I Was doing (we were sitting so long, we can started making funny faces at each other and generally became friends), they started helping.
It. Was. Epic.
Oh gawd no. When I see someone on the road acting in a manner that is road-rage inducing to me…I try to get away from them.
I’m enacting this in my entire life, where I can.
As far as driving is concerned, I usually drive looking forward. I look at my rearview mirror mainly when I need to change lanes, and sometimes I want to make sure that nothing weird is going on behind me (my driver’s ed instructor talked about a situation where a sleeping trucker killed a young driver at a traffic stop). I always hope for the best, but if a driver wants to make a last minute lane change in front of me, I leave space.
Yes, on roads where the speeds are 45-55 mph, yes, I’m the front driver who would brake because with the delayed reaction time to stop a car going at 45-55 mph, I’m not sure if I need to simply let up the gas or hit the brakes.
Thus far, I’m a confident and defensive driver.
I think about other people’s lives in two instances.
1. If there is a cautionary tale to learn about. Some mistakes are not worth repeating.
2. If there is a valuable quality to emulate.
I worry about other people thwarting me if I know I’ll be involved in power plays of some kind. I’ve read numerous examples of public interest advocates courting danger and slander from powerful narrow interests. So being strategic, tough-minded, and fair are necessary in that situation.
Otherwise, I mainly worry about myself.
Good God. Spending energy trying to thwart others? Uh…little to NONE. Maybe when I was 12 years old or something I would have done things to get in other people’s way, but…sheesh, not NOW.
Guys like that want me to dream….. that I’m in James Bond’s car ((he sold me his old one)), and I’m just about ready to activate the guns & missles.
😀
Ugh!!! I hate that shit so much! Leave me alone and let me drive. Literally and metaphorically. I don’t have the least desire to control anyone’s life, and I really really want to be aloud to run my own. People who talk about what so and so should do… and just complain, etc. There is no faster way to lose me as a friend. Live your own damn life. Stop spinning in circles focused on someone else. Rant over. Great post.
allowed spelling correction.
Maybe people act as though life is a game and they have to win. Acting as though the road is a basketball court and they are guarding you from going forward. It’s seems to be aggression in overdrive/predatory behavior that has no other outlet or insight.
Slowing down or approaching a light I look in the rear view to make sure the driver behind is going to stop. A rear-end accident might have prevented multiple injuries years ago when the driver behind me did not stop @ approx 45mph–I had time to tense every muscle for the impact. All I could see in her windshield was her safety bag.
I know ppl like this.. several in particular. So worried or obsessed with trying to stop others from getting ahead and moving forward with your life, they become a prisoner to their own negativity. I don’t do it and I’ve learned to not focus on it. I believe the more you try to sabotage others, the more damage you do to your own life… after all, imagine all the possibilities and missed opportunities because you are so busy looking behind you. It must be exhausting
I don’t know how to drive. That says something…lol. I am the kind of person on a bike who hops a curb, scoots down back lane where there is no traffic, cuts across a park and ends up on the beach. I’ll leave the scrapping to other people.
In other words…none. I worry about ways to avoid being thwarted by said people.
Mars/4th trine Neptune/12th
None!
Can’t imagine it.
Although my Scorpio moon does spiral down into a funk of rage and revenge every once in a while. But no thwarting. Just brooding.
Not at all. But people (mostly women it seems…or only women when I look back on my life) do this to me. Not with driving but with work related life. I just focus on doing what I want with work that makes me happy and ignore them.
No, I’m the person in the back car showing them the finger while driving into their car.
Metaphorically of course. This is how I act around people who try to thwart me. As for me, I don’t thwart because I’m not interested. I have things to do, a life to lead.
None!
I really wish people will stop doing this to me. Everyone should go in their own way and not worry about what the other person is doing! Live your own damn life.
From what I’ve understood about what you’ve written.. No I don’t spend most of my time trying to thwart others. I have a life and things to do. All those people that spend too long trying to figure out my moves are people that I drop eventually. It becomes tiresome trying to keep some people focused on their own road and lane and trying to get them out of mine. Amputate those people in a hurry.
Never really knew people did this. Guess I wasn’t paying attention.
Absolutely zero. Opposite actually, I spend too much time trying to help others!
I don’t have the time to waste worrying about much of anything certainly not worrying about how I am going to thwart someone else. What really is annoying to me is when someone makes me have to take action to stop them from being a problem in my life. I too like things to flow.
Though my maternal grandmother and I were not on the best of terms for a great number of years she taught me a great many valuable lessons. 1) don’t worry about things if you can do something then do it don’t worry. If you can’t do anything to stop the chain of events then don’t worry cause you can’t stop what is happening. Reevaluate the situation once the dust settles and then take the appropriate action so no need for worry. Hence I don’t worry much at all.
2) Be sure of you facts words are important and have power once they are spoken they can never be withdrawn. If you say hurtful things to people those word just lay there and weigh on that persons mind and they may never forgive you plus your words may distory their trust. This does not mean you have to be a Pollyanna or a doormat.
How much energy to you expend worrying about how you’re going to thwart others?
I am not sure how you can get ahead in any arena if you are paying that much attention to what someone else is doing.
A new shop opened up very close to mine. For a few days I was very curious about it. It even made me a little nervous. I don’t know why. I have been established for some years now and I know how hard the start up was. It took years of planning just to do that much. So, thought about this for maybe a week…and then turned it off. Its good if others are successful. And none of my business. My business is just that….mine to tend to. So I went about my days as usual. And wished them the best of luck.
They didn’t end up lasting more than about 6 months but good for them that they gave it a good try. And maybe they got lessons and will try again and do very well. I hope so.
I know of a few that tried to stop them. Shame on those folks. That will back up on them someday. It’s best to leave people alone….let them be.
I don’t want to thwart anyone that doesn’t need it (isn’t asking for it by being an asshole), but I do pay keen attention to others. I’ve had way too many instances of assuming everyone is just as happy to live their lives as I am to live mine but, no, they want to live theirs and control mine, too. So, yeah… I keep my eyes peeled for that shit now. *smiles*
Interesting synchronicity (to me, anyway):
Earlier this evening I waltzed into the house and announced, “I’m such a bitch.”
“Oh, yeah? Why?” mom asked.
“So I’m coming home, right? And there’s a biiiiig line of traffic at the light. Of course they’re piddlin’ and there’s this dude behind me in a big, honkin’ pick-up just ridin’ my ass! You know the type.”
“Ohh yeeaah…”
“We’re all doing the speed limit and this guy’s crawling up my tailpipe. Motherfucker! So the second time he got close enough that I couldn’t see his headlights, I stomped the brake. ‘Take that, asshole! BUY THIS CAR!'”
“Shit! So what’d he do?”
“Backed off, of course. Then creeped up on me again but every time he got close I’d lay on the brake. FUCK YOU, yanno? I don’t give a shit about you, your tiny dick, and your gigantic F-250. Bite me! I ain’t skeered! Then the pokey Buick in front of me moved over so I came on down the road. You know, 10 miles over like I do. ‘See ya later! It’s been fun!’ I’d say maybe he’ll think twice next time he wants to shove his dick up someone’s ass, but I doubt it.”
“They never do. He’s probably just cussing you up one side and down the other.”
“Probably. Ask if I care.”
it is terrible, i notice it is to people who are always unhappy in their lives. 🙁
they look to others to thrwart their unhappiness maybe? i try to stay away from that, but it’s hard if there’s family members like this.and it causes stress.