Living In The Shadow Of Your Parent

shadow figureSome people loom large. They have some quality about them. It could be money, fame, power, or things having to do with their character or their personality. Charisma, for example. But also a hard-core sense of control, or a violent nature, or many other things.

If your parent is like this, it can be quite bad, as you wind up living in their shadow, or perhaps acting a role to support their bigger-than-life persona. It’s typical people in this situation tag their parent as narcissistic but I don’t think this is true in all cases.

I don’t want to start a fight, saying that. I’m just aware of other scenarios where the child(ren) can wind up overshadowed by parent who legit, loves their kids and would do anything in the world for them.

If you look at the chart of a parent like this, their nature will pop right out at you. It could be a large stellium, Jupiter stuff, a dominating T-square or even a chart o’ trines! Picture it. The mother glides. The child is awkward for some reason.  Naturally bombastic parent, with a child who is shy?

This is one of the things my sister and I discussed, when we were in our twenties.  She may have been accused of being this type of parent, but I don’t think she was.

We focused on this for awhile and could see situations where the child never fully came into their own, until the parent passed.  In a situation like this, it’s probably best you leave; live far enough away, you escape this.  Leo in particular!

Here’s more, not specific to a parent/child relationship:

Living In Another Person’s Shadow

Did your parent’s light, dim or obliterate, your own?  What was it like as a child? What’s it like now?  What’s the astrology?

9 thoughts on “Living In The Shadow Of Your Parent”

  1. For me;Daddy large Proud loud Texan , skilled horse handler couple bullwhip and rope,sing , whistle,(like a locomotive),dance
    Charm,athletic, hard to be in his company with out being drawn to him,Mama small, dancer,dazzling powerful, resourceful,close to a dozen children,sensual,kind, gentle,force of nature;me,#7 not a leader
    A follower,book worm….until
    Touched,nails grew teeth sharpened learned to run hide
    Now, stay out of my way
    If you can’t keep up, can’t hang on
    Get out of the way
    Trying to stay in my hula hoop
    Don’t want to stain my grandkids
    Like I did my children we don’t have to be afraid of the storm. We can still be the storm. We don’t need casualties.

  2. My parents were very successful and dominant in their work field, they were both teachers, very influential ones, and their students still talk about them. I remember at my dad’s funeral, he was called an institution. That’s huge, and I was very proud of them, always. But they weren’t so proud of my brother and me. Their expectations were very high because they both achieved the top in their careers, they also kind of expected the same from us. My dad was maybe softer than my mom, but she expected a lot, and tho we were successful, it was never enough for her. She was always pushing us to be more, it was never enough for her, and my brother was better than I was in reaching enough. I had to earn her respect, as a daughter, I think it’s a common thing. I never got that recognition from her, and it was a legacy after her death that I had to carry and fight because she was, and still is in my head. After she died I was still proving to her, but then after a year, I realized I was actually proving to myself, not to her. I had to prove to myself that I’m independent, that I can survive and be a whole person. I would never say my parents were narcissistic, or more demanding because they had to fight a lot in their lives, they both had so less than my brother and me, and still, they managed to achieve great careers, and they both had charisma that was almost impossible not to notice, especially my dad. I’m still trying to be my person, not the person they have imagined I should be, but I’m also very proud when someone notices that I’m similar to them in some occasions, situations, and work fields.
    My biggest regret is that I wasn’t emancipated from my mom in my 20s, but I had money to support myself. I always wanted to leave early our home, but there wasn’t a possibility, so to become an independent person was a process that began after she died. Maybe later than I thought, and wanted, but I made it. There is of course a lot of space to make even more progress, but I know they are both proud of us. I am very proud of my parents and who they were, not just in their careers, but as people too.

  3. My father was larger than life, tall, handsome, gregarious, an athlete, a small-town firefighting hero. My brother was small and sickly, serious, un-athletic.
    It really came between them. Later in life, my dad apologized for overwhelming my brother and they became close.

  4. I left my parents house when I was 21, and lived alone very far away. But I didnt realize I was swapping my parents influence for my job at a large company. My mother was a controling but very generous and protective person, and so was my job. I was still being taken care of if I preformed well, but now it was by my boss not my mother. I didnt realize this untill my late thirties. I am only now trying to ‘make it on my own’ and i feel like a child learning to walk.

  5. My father had a capricorn stellium with libra moon, jupiter aqua and NN in leo. He had charm and ambition big time. Handsome, valued knowledge, community and ethics. Plus he was hard working at home not only at his job and apparently good with kids- me. Liked to party every now and then and played footbal. Women would swarm around him. I like to think his genes are what makes me probe things and value learning in general.

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


Scroll to Top