I have had a lot of experiences in my life that are outside the norm. I don’t think about it that much mostly because I am thinking of other things.
Occasionally someone one slips on a banana peel, so to speak, and winds up in one of these pockets of life where I have put in a lot of time and have a lot of knowledge. What they finds out alarms them and I am the first person they think of because of course, I’ve been talking about whatever the thing is for years. They find out I’m right. They find out I am not crazy. They find out that I don’t exaggerate the shadow out there and you’d think this would be satisfying for me or even perversely satisfying for me but it’s not.
When this happens, what I feel is relief. I am relieved to be slightly less isolated, see? I said there is a pit there and now someone else sees it too, and spends time in it.
The bad part is that I have to tell them that it will get worse. It’s the tip of the iceberg, see? I have to tell them that the thing is disgusting and ugly as well as being something to behold and I’m sorry they slipped on that peel because they’ll never be as idealistic or naive as they were the day before and that’s just the way it is.
I’ll admit it, I feel a sense of vindication when someone falls into a pit I’ve been in — but then I give ’em a hand. Mostly it’s because the person that falls is usually the one who’s been the most adamant that I’m insane.
I think that’s understandable, SaD, and I would like to have something like that myself but it just doesn’t happen. I fall into the “wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy” camp when it comes to things like this. I just hate to see someone suffer, a lot more then suffering myself, though I do think people who kick a person like me are making an egregious mistake or at the very least, they’re tempting fate.
Anyway, if I see someone living their life in the sun, I’d just as soon they be allowed to continue it. Their pain doesn’t help me a bit. I often end up containing it, or otherwise relieving them of it at least in part. I figure either way, I’m going down. It’s no help, having bodies on top me, so you may as well stay up. So says the dirty gravedigger.
For me, I’m watching it all around. I’ve always been the canary in the coal mine–if sh*t is going to happen, it will hit me first. As you say though, I’m also the first to be able to lend a hand to help others get through it all, and I tend to get some satisfaction from that. That being said, there have been others who have kind of acted like the reason it all hit me was because they were so much better than me, and I somehow “deserved” it, and I have to say that its nice to be shown that ultimately, most everyone is going to have to go through it sooner or later. Their sense of superiority finally gets tarnished.
I keep my mouth shut as they aren’t ready to look at ugly until the shit starts happening. Then, when the ick starts to stink ..they tell you scoop as if they are the victim of this new event. You saw it 2 years ago.
Singing Willy Nelson: Phases and stages.. Circles and Cycles..
I know exactly what you mean.
I can identify all too well with this…packed 8th house.
I hear ya, Elsa.
It’s a split-second impulse for me. I don’t know if there’s a way to get rid of it or even if I should try. 🙂 I keep it under wraps, though; no one needs to know about my 10-second mental victory dance, especially when they’re in the muck.
I understand. There are some I have sympathy for as they really didn’t see it coming. Others I help because as I tell them they see and then they want to fix it. Then the ones who get on their high horse with all the smugness and adamant attitude who fall and sometimes I really rub in the fact that they’re not so smug now. And other times I keep it to myself, and I amputate and leave them to deal with it on their own cause they were kicking me when I was down and instead of stooping to that level I’d rather just walk away without the body and feelings.
*and I may amputate
I have this inborn aversion to gloating. I think it tempts fate. My 8th House is empty, ruled by Virgo. Mercury Pisces 2nd. I would love to gloat, but sometimes, a knowing smile is enough for me.
I have always made predictions. My mother gets some kind of perverse satisfaction in trying to prove me wrong. I refuse to read her cards any more because she would purposely go out and try to make the opposite of what I said happen, just to prove me wrong.
Her Neptune falls in my 8th.
So, when one of my predictions comes true, and she had been naysaying it this whole time, I do remind her of what I predicted. For some reason, it pisses her off. With her, I do get a perverse satisfaction at being correct. The huff she makes and the look on her face is satisfaction enough for me.
There is something beautiful and breathtaking about that photo. Thanks for sharing.
Well that is me, notch and I don’t like my body posture but you know what? So what. That’s me.
I didn’t have shoes.
I remember when I met my husband when I was 17. He had spent most his childhood living in 3rd world countries – in privilege in some cases and he used to pontificate all the time about how Americans knew nothing of poverty. They didn’t know what it was like to not eat, or to not have shoes…
I tried to tell him he was wrong about that but he’d just go on and on.
I had no idea at the time, how rare it was. It was disorienting.
this is why i’ve stopped talking about fate and destiny recently. my north node is in gemini and i best not get too comfortable or complacent in my ideas about life. i am here to bridge the communication gap, not jump to conclusions.