I’ve been observing my own mental resistance over this last week or so. I am trying to think outside the proverbial box. It’s remarkably difficult.
I don’t think it should be, for someone like me. Specifically, I’m talking about having Mercury conjunct Mars in my 9th house. I’m designed to think out of bounds. Bumping into my own mental block surprised (and irritated) me. The irritation is a Mars function, of course.
This was happened before this morning’s moon Venus conjunction in Virgo opposing Saturn in Pisces. When the two things came together, I figured I better write about this, though I was resistant to that as well.
Really, I want to think my own thoughts. It’s that simple. I have a brain. I was born with it. I want to be able to think freely and independently; oh my God, is this hard.
It’s hard for some pretty stupid reasons which I doubt are my problems alone. One is codependency. Outside the incessant flood of stupidity we’re all subjected to, I am surrounded by strong people with strong opinions. I have that wee bit of Libra that makes me want to be agreeable. If I don’t restrict this, I become amendable aka easily persuaded or controlled. It’s an invisible prison!
To clarify, I’ve felt the need to restrict myself from “the internet” but also people who may be caught in their own prison, trying to hold on to information they feel is real and dear to them. That’s their prison, see? Or their sanctuary. I don’t know and I don’t really care. Not to say I don’t care about the people. I mean, I am focused on resolving my own issue.
This is that issue, exactly. I want to consider the possibility that an entire way I think about something is flawed. The people around me “can’t go there” as they say. But I can’t go there either… or at least I have banged on this invisible wall a few times this week. This is remarkable to me and not in a good way. Since when can I not think across or over or under a line?
This describes “the matrix” in my world. The concept is way over used but it’s very good and descriptive. Am I really so weak, I have to stay in one spot, growing increasingly uncomfortable, fearing to step through the veil and isolate myself further?
I’m not that weak and I am going to do it. I also think a lot of you are in a similar situation so I’m writing this for you. I wish us all a lot of luck in gaining or regaining the ability to get around the barriers we fear transending.
it’s like drooping your rubix cube in the water just to see if it will leak…lol
Yes!
I had a mini awakening last Friday, walking around a store.. I never go to stores anymore, only the supermarket. But I was in the area and felt like exploring. The energy in the store (in the mall) was weird, like something decaying and becoming meaningless.
I was pondering on my experience of the store when suddenly it was like something that had been holding my mind in place in a certain way, just popped, but I would actually say it was more a sudden dissolving. I realised I’d been stuck in a field of mental limitation, a more concrete feeling, and this had been happening without my awareness of its extent, because I’ve been consciously trying to protect myself from collective energies since 2020, if not before, but that’s when they became troublesome.
But there it was, this sudden dissolve, and me thinking why and how did that entrapment happen? And a strong impetus to break free and be who I was before this concrete freeze.
By my reckoning, I think it’s the collective “mind” and/or energetics that have been influencing me, and exposure to internet is a big vehicle for this, and also the general ether. I was surprised I could be so very conscious of resisting but still be influenced.
Gaslighting and projection on a collective scale are involved I think. And I think the sudden dissolution is a natural organic healing process involving Saturn in Pisces, which will continue in a positive way. A door is reopening, maybe a new/old door because we are forever changed.
The quality that is the agent for this limiting, binding mental state is fear I believe. Because it gets into your energetic body and affects you, even if you try to resist and stay conscious.
My sense is when we had the lockdowns we became very vulnerable, like children locked away for bad behaviour. Very triggering and regressive. And then bombardment of information infused with so much fear, all the while helplessly trapped, then being given “permission” to leave and be “free”, but then many controlling dictates and rigid structures and closed borders, and millions, billions? of people being physically and energetically penetrated. And then the uncertainty of what now lives within. It’s a sort of infantile nightmare or phantasy.
What a journey! What we’ve been exposed to is a psychotic level of functioning, it is very violent to our systems. So we should go gentle if our minds have been in shock. And feel confident there is healing coming now, and for the next few years with Pisces.
BTW, I think Neptune was a big player in 2020 onwards and Saturn is now coming along and bringing a strange healing clarity. I think we can trust that transit to bring more balance.
excellent expression of this energy! Thank you for putting words to what has been so difficult to express or comprehend.
Hi Elsa, any tips for coping with strong influences that are undesirable but may be coming from connections who are well intended?
Welcome, H. See it as your responsibility (Saturn) to discern (Virgo). Block the info, compassionately?
Thanks, Elsa! That makes a lot of sense. Any tips if the info is delivered psychically or through emotional sharing?
Probably either. Saturn in Pisces blurs boundaries.
Up for me big time with CPTSD trauma level beyond capacity. I need help.
I’m sorry, Kelly. I understand what you mean. I’m concerned about people suffering mental breakdowns, trying to process. I would limit exposure to media until you feel more grounded and in control.
Good luck.
Thank you Elsa. I will. The personal is also in play.
Once you have realized that our fearless leaders are almost all stupid and malicious, and you shouldn’t believe anything they say without carefully checking it out, I’ve found that life becomes pretty relaxed. You can focus on doing the important work of helping and sustaining the people you love…In the end, they can’t damage what’s really important, which is you soul…
So true Gemini7, remembering that your soul can’t be damaged is very comforting. Our minds and experiences we must process through it, can harm our outlook and our joy in life.
‘can’t damage what’s really important, which is you soul…’
Loving this. Sometimes, it’s hard to remember there’s a soul down in there, and all these earthy ego shenanigans can’t touch it, if you don’t let them. Lights shine, it’s what we do.
It feels like it all happened over night. What the heck.
Curious if there’s anything contributing to this in your progressed chart re your natal mercury/mars.
Good question. I don’t think so. I think it’s Saturn and I’ll elaborate.
First, this is my progressed chart:
https://elsaelsa.com/astrology/progressed-stellium-in-scorpio/
What happened with me, I wanted to consider the possibility that I had figured something wrong. This belief of mine is shared by people near to me.., it’s like this issue is “settled”? But I am not sure it IS settled, so I want to think in other directions – see where it takes me. Classic Mars Mercury / 9th. But when I turn my attention (to the right, it seems), there is a wall there. Like I can damned near see the wall. So I thought, shit! That’s a mental block! MY mental block.
So I started considering what I was afraid of / WHO I was afraid of. I can’t say I have a clear answer to that – Saturn is in Pisces. But I am blocked and I want to get beyond the block, smartly.
By that, I mean, I don’t want to leave “Kansas” for some delusion land so days later I am still on the wrong side of the block but trying…
Not sure if I should be trying harder or trying less. Waiting for clarity, which may take Saturn turning direct? That would be a worst case scenario, as far as time goes, I think. But the worst, worst scenario would be to make a mistake here.
Basically, I have it right and decide I have it wrong, in error, and then proceed to screw up.
All I’m really saying here is that I am blocked and I really shouldn’t be. But on the other hand, I have seen this before.
I am not sure if you know my stories, but when I was ten, I wanted my sister to steal a truck with me so we could go to the store. I did not want to go alone so I tried to talk her into it but she wouldn’t go, so I went alone.
Five years later, when I was fifteen, I wanted my sister to leave home with me… I did not want to go alone. She would not do it so again, I went alone.
This is probably similar. I want to head off somewhere, intellectually. I want someone to go with me but they won’t.
Ultimately, I will go alone. It’s my nature.
This post of yours resonated with me a lot. Like you, I have a wee bit of Libra, which is my chart ruler Pluto in Libra. However because it is Pluto, I suspect that I am a bit of a rabble rouser in relationships.
I recently left my closest friend of 15 years and astro buddy because we had reached an impasse. Today I’m a the doctor’s clinic because I feel distinctly unwell. I wasn’t sure whether it was physical or emotional so I went to check, just in case.
With Uranus angular, my first instinct is to go alone. Yet, there are times when I do see the positives of teaming up with someone else. My closest friend was the person who introduced me to astrology and was the one I explored astrology with for the past 15 years.
Some time in our long association our relationship, where astrology is concerned, morphed from teacher and student to that of peers. I didn’t want to point out this transition, but it impacted the dynamic in our relationship because I no longer accepted her POV as being definitive. This bled into the other areas of our relationship because she still saw me as her “wingwoman” whereas I didn’t share that opinion of my self or of my role within our relationship.
Could it be your desire to have someone go along with you that’s contributing to the wall then?
I understand the drive to do something even when you don’t have support you’d like, though astrologically I think for different reasons than you.
When you reach clarity on whatever this issue is, it’d be curious to see how will astrology reflect it.
“Could it be your desire to have someone go along with you that’s contributing to the wall then?”
Yes, this is part of it; I mentioned, codependence. But I am not sure that’s the whole of it. I literally may just be (mentally) lazy, which is a condition pretty much everyone suffers these days because thinking is supplied to us. Ideas are supplied and also strongly suggested. This spares or prevents a person from thinking for themselves, though they think they’re functioning.
I guess that’s another point. I think I am functioning fairly well – this wall is there so WHAM. Humbling.
I am also concerned with an even higher degree of isolation but I know I will do it, because this is my grandfather and I am just like him:
https://elsaelsa.com/astrology/henry-in-his-own-words-double-capricorn-stellium-in-sagittarius/
Bottom line, I have to live in integrity.
Another element here is I have to ready myself to forgo most of my personal communication. I have to prepare for this, plot out how I will survive it, because I’m already up a creek as far as talking about anything I feel is interesting or important. I have to reinvent myself as a person who listens without interjecting. I have to become a blob or sorts, that reflects the other person.
This is because I’ve really come to understand, people can’t handle the truth. So if I want to be with people, I have to avoid the truth with them. But I am designed to seek the truth and my nature will win in the end.
So Mars Mercury in LIBRA. Cut socializing and move out, independently. My grandfather did it. I fear it’s my destiny and always was.
Hi Elsa
Synchronicity!
You’re not alone with this one. Codependency and Self Sovereignty! You are so lucky to be able to describe it (your Mercury/Mars conjunction) & have the space to do so. I’d go with your integrity but suggest maybe there is peace in just acknowledging the realisation!
Let’s go exploring together!
“The Evolutionary Force Wants to Come Through Here, and We’re in the Way. Gotta Go Deeper Again and Surrender Further. Takes Quite Some Doing. Meanwhile, so Much Agony Having so Little to Do with Externals, with AnythingYou Could Define or Name… We Just Have to Get Through the Perpetual Identity Crisis” (Lonsdale, p.256).
https://astrobuss.wordpress.com/2023/10/06/libra-scorpio-10-and-their-neighbors/#:~:text=The%20Evolutionary%20Force,%2C%20p.256).
💜Bob
Hi, Bob. I didn’t think I was alone. This was the day to write about this!
👍 Absolutely! We are closer to “Source” than we realise. Quantum physics, consciousness, mental telepathy & all that stuff!
So much joy to be had in this and our other little communities.
Have a great day ☺️
Is this a time when one on one communications will be your journey ?? I winder. Mass communicatons,blogs, anything on the web is suspect now,I don’t ever trust I am “talking” to a real human. I love your blog, your website.. I am deeply saddened by what AI is doing to businesses like yours.I have been seeing a therapist since 2021, on ZOOM, a seasoned,mature woman who helps me put things into perspective.Honest,reliable,shows up for me. AI cannot replace your one on one appointments,where you can be as honest and real as is your nature3, and is needed by those in distress. Just wondering what directions you’re leaning towards through all this..?? Private practice exclusively??
Yes, I see what you see.
I really empathise with you here. My astro buddy of 15 years who I broke up with said that 1) all she wanted was for me to listen (instead of Mars in Virgo style proactively trying to help her) 2) said I was cold when I factually pointed out that she had been anticipating her own mother’s death so a diagnosis shouldn’t come as a surprise 3) claimed that I was trauma dumping on her when she had just as many issues to offload onto me in a continuous stream
I was open to our relationship changing up due to our personal need for growth and expansion. At least I am ripe for growth and expansion. She kept projecting onto me her own unresolved need to measure herself against others and emerge as “the winner.”
To me this was all too childish and superficial. I have no interest in the status quo, much less climbing some make-believe Jack and beanstalk ladder. She claimed that I was pretending to be poor, not accepting who I really was by living where I live.
I’m happy where I am, thank you. I don’t care to be a pauper in a suburb full of gazillionaires, which she is – which is fine, if she didn’t quite insist that her way of living is the only way of living. How does she know what other people’s truths are for them????
Like I said, I empathise. These are tough transits.
Saturn in Pisces: Mind Prison – Easily Persuaded Or Controlled
One cannot be selective with this topic, it also applies to religions of all kinds.
When light passes through the object at a predictable speed, the creation is no longer three-dimensional. Instead, we have entered what is known as the 4th dimension—where: 1) the laws of physics are invariant or identical in all inertial frames of reference; and 2) the speed of light in a vacuum is the same for all observers regardless of the motion of the light source or observer. This is an unrestricted/advanced method of communication. Truth becomes invariant or identical to other frames of reference–that which we know as truth. However, this is only when light passes through an object at a predictable speed. And, there is the theory of Variable Speed of Light (VSL). Who Knows What?
Liberation is not a product of thinking. Saturn in Pisces draws us down into another realm beneath Mercury/Jupiter/and thought as Truth.
This resonates. Perhaps our mental faculties fail us and we have to access truth versus our stories about truth. Our beliefs and illusions and delusions all centered in the mind versus being where truth resides.
Elsa, Thank you. Saturn in Pisces on my south nose. I slso have a problem with codepedency. Timely article.
I wish I believed your soul could not be harmed. I must live in an alt universe. I’ve never met a soul in my life that has not been harmed.
Elsa, I would have to agree.
I discovered how I’ve lived in a shadow, having a boxing match the past 4 years in regards to a personal matter.
I do think it’s a Pluto transit himself from the 12th house thing though, as well as him stationing and make you wake the f*CK up about what you’re doing.
When I went to bed Saturday, after suffering a whole night without sleeping the day before – and now with this realization in hand – I did not only feel tired. I felt tired for like, FOUR YEARS.
But natal Pluto is conjunct Saturn in Libra, so this could be a reason too.
But now, I have my shadow out, and the themes from my life has been uncovered. I have begun therapy and I am working to see the matter in a more concrete lens.
And then set to work.
I have Libra too, this control stuff is so darn annoying at times LOL!
realized recently that a huge chunk of how i interpreted the world was build up of old now irrelevant architectures… very much living in the past rather than the moment.
This sounds really good. People who are trying to hold on… I don’t know.
we can get attached to our pain as much as our joy…
Agreed. Don’t drag your pain into your future!
https://elsaelsa.com/astrology/pluto-transits-my-12th-house-conjuncts-my-ascendant-enters-my-1st/
It’s a Jupiter thing. Set it at the curb to be picked up like trash <- That came from Debbie Kempton-Smith.
I am distressed by our world,today.In so many ways.And yet,I still work on my Faith. I have no idea what or who is out there but I am gonna err on the side of faith and keep praying.I refuse to let my personal pain, and my pain for the collective right now, completely swallow up my own goodness and potential for some joy. I am not a young chicken, I only have so many days/weeks/hours,etc left on this planet.. I do still have some personal goals.And I do in the deepest places of my heart, believe in Joy. Maybe not available in huge portions, today, but maybe another day..and maybe in small doses, like just having 1 oz of dark chocolate a day instead of the whole candy bar..savor the small joys.. best I can do right now..and I am gonna keep doing it.
Yes to all of this. How does one cut off media entirely? I feel like I should be informed on at least something of what is happening. But then again, a lot of it isn’t true, or doesn’t change anything that I can do anything about. And I don’t want to have my perspective warped based on propaganda, for example.
Then there’s not knowing what’s going on, and having that mean I might not be prepared in some way for some…thing, I don’t know. Is that crazy? I just don’t know. I feel like I can’t figure out where the line is.
BUT – I also know I need to take a step way back. My screens take me away from what’s going on in front of me and that is not at all good, even though I don’t stare at them all day or anything. My mind is a huge part of my life – very, very mental I am, always thinking – and it’s like an addiction. Or should I say plainly, it IS an addiction. I don’t know how to overcome it. Breaks? I’ve done that. But like any addict I always go back for my fix. I need to know, need to dig. Inevitably I wind up mired in some muck, or I realize it’s all beyond me, why am I bothering to look? Does this make sense?
Basically I wonder if I cut everything off, would it be detrimental, or would it be liberating? My mind swirls and has no idea how to figure out pros and cons.
Just try one at a time Dolce, experiment in easy stages. And no self recrimination when falling off the wagon 🙂
That is good advice. I’m off on a trip next week; it may be a good time to cut a few things off. I’d rather finish a few books on my shelf anyway!
In terms of places we can’t go in our minds, usually there is a “knot” and at the heart of this knot is grief. The knot like all knots has been bound tightly and needs unravelling. So the mind protects itself from a knot by isolating it from awareness. We can only know its there through the diversions our mind makes to avoid contact with the knot. This is how I understand why it’s difficult to talk about the happenings of the last few years, but these knots also historically shape our reality. At some point in a conversation you encounter the suburbs of the knot and the conversation goes awry. Eventually you can lose the person, just as that knot is currently lost. The person becomes a knot floating around in their own mental diversions, with no ability to relate or connect in an authentic way. It’s heartbreaking.
When this happens en masse, collectively, well…
None of us are the same after the earth shook. Many long relationships are now falling away. Still so many questions. We find ourselves at forks in the road. We may stand there because there is a comfort, or maybe it’s codependency, but it’s shifting. Do we leave these people we love because we can’t pretend to be one of them? Do we rattle them once again with our truth? Will they be ok if they untangle their knots? Can we even take one of them with us? A journey always needs a rest so treat yourself with kindness and love. Thank you all for being here. The feeling of being together may come in a different form, but it still feels good. And if it’s being alone we need, well somewhere we got the strength for that too. The soul’s journey. Thank you Elsa, and many blessings to you.