Self Exam: What Do You Bring To A Friendship Or Other Relationship?

quirky ballerinaI can really feel Saturn bearing down on my Venus at this time. I find myself evaluating my worth in relationships. I guess that sounds cold but whatever! It’s a transit.

Uranus is also aspecting my Venus so there is some detachment involved.  I’m just thinking about relationships in general. My astrology (Uranus) work (Saturn) is often focused on partnerships (Venus). This is another reason I am mulling this.

I started thinking about exactly what I had to offer in relationship.  Why would someone be interested or not interested in partnering with me?  I’ve written about “currency” for many years.

Venus, Love and Money – What’s Your Currency?

I’m updating (Uranus) my definition (Saturn) of my own value and what I’ve come up with is stark but not in a bad way.  Here it is:

My main value, in my own estimation is I don’t bore people. You will not be bored! Ever.

This is interesting because my mother always said, “It’s a sin to bore people.”  She was a double Aquarius.

I always have something new to say to talk about.  I’m thinking getting into my friend’s car to go to lunch. I am literally a walking wild card.  I know she has no earthly idea what I am going to report this time; only that it will be provocative? I don’t mean to be this way. I am this way.

I may have some other good qualities but as far as what is truly quintessential about my character, this is it. I’m not proud of this. It’s just undeniable.

I think this comes from Uranus in my 7th house. I know a lot of interesting people and I meet more of them, pretty much, every single day.

I don’t think this is a great quality that people desire.  It would not be found on many lists of what a person wants in a relationship but I am high-value for people who hate being bored and love new information or ideas to chew on.

So what about you?  What is the quintessential thing you “bring to the table” in relationships? What are you valued for and where is your Venus / sign, house and aspects?


19 thoughts on “Self Exam: What Do You Bring To A Friendship Or Other Relationship?”

  1. I had a boss tell me I was like a cow. I was calm and had milk. haha English was not his first language so he wasn’t trying to insult me. I instantly understood what he was talking about. I bring the deep earth vibe with a bit nourishment. I don’t have Taurus but I have a lot of earth aspecting water. Capricorn Venus/Mars/Sun in 2nd house(Taurus natural house) trine 10/9th house Virgo Pluto/Uranus sextile 12 house Scorpio Neptune.

  2. It is. I always want to value my mental contribution to things (Capricorn Mercury conjunct Aquarius Saturn), but have learned that many people are more comfortable with my silence.

  3. I have Uranus in the 7th house and I have always wanted to bring that lightning strike of truth to the relationship. A little sizzle! But mine is in cancer, so I will hold you tight while you take in the shock of it.

    I have always fought that ‘don’t be boring’ injunction. I have Pluto Moon in Leo, so while I like the attention I get from being interesting, mine is in the 8th house so I also hate the limelight. In fact, I feel a great burden lifted when I say that as I have gotten older I am more willing to be boring. Be brave, be boring! That’s my song. I find relationships and social experiences to be so taxing when I feel I have to be sparkling and scintillating. I’m Cap rising for goodness sake! That Saturn trumps all my Aries too. Except when it doesn’t.

    Astrology is so fascinating. Elsa and I have many similar parts, but they add up to a totally different whole. Both make total sense!

    1. I have a similar chart too — Can Uranus 7th, Cap Asc, Leo Pluto (but in 7th), Moon in 8th (but Virgo). Your “lightening strike of truth” scenario is unforgettable!
      COVID ended all occasions to be “sparkling and scintillating” — no Auntie Mame style retirement, more like Miss Haversham!

      1. Miss Haversham! I love that you know this Warped. Now I am going to watch Great Expectations again for the 3 millionth time….. I love this reference!

        1. Of course!
          I always identified with eccentric hermits! There are a few variations of her in other classics too. So many of the old novels and plays we had to study as teens have become more relevant with age. It is said that nearly all literature is based on a handful of basic themes dating back to ancient times.

  4. My moon is gemini. Explains why I read here, it’s fun ? as things/info lead to other things and more info. Uranus in 8th house Sag sextile/mutual reception with Jupiter for more exploration of depth/muddy subjects but with intellectual lightness/detached approach at the same time.
    As for the Venus, it is rx in Aries conj Merc, 12H, Sextile moon/Chiron, squared by Neptune… id say it’s complicated, Elsa. They don’t usually really SEE me.

  5. Good post Elsa!

    I suspect you have a very keen memory as well, but for the sake of others who might learn something from reading 95% comments like I do, I will state: I am Scorpio rising with Uranus RX on the AC, this trines Sun and Jupiter in Cancer, squares Merc (conjunct MC), squares Moon and sextiles Mars. My 10th is ruled by the Sun and it is packed. I also have Venus conjunct Saturn NATALLY.

    I am like your current transit, but all the time. I don’t go out of my way to entertain, but even random people like a taxi driver who once took me home, recognise my voice the second time they hear me. He said our first conversation will be one of his most treasured memories.

    We had met during the start of the pandemic and he bemoaned that how unlike India, there was no family or relatives around to offer help. I told him that the beauty of Australia is that total strangers help you. He was surprised to hear this. I have examples: soup kitchens, refugee not-for-profits, community gardens, various volunteer organisations.

    None are obliged by the bond of blood to give but they do. This is the human family.

    All of which is a reflection of my angular Uranus.
    I also have Chiron on the DC. Most of the people I encounter are hurt in some way. My Venus Saturn know I cannot, nor is it prudent, for me to go around tending to everyone. So I use this aspect to be discerning. The more I know my limitations and my needs, the more discerning I become.

    I go about the world with a childlike awe for the possible. We aren’t talking probable, just what may be, if the stars align. I like to think I share this curious mix of compelling humanity, keen perception and undeniable playfulness with those I encounter.

  6. Gruelling time! The whole venus retro in my 4th house Cap, one fine day Pluto will be done with Cap too and I hope Im still standing. Venus in Aqua at 8 and Chiron at 13 means Saturn has a party there and yes, relationships and what I bring (and want and don’t want) have been and still are on the table. Natal Uranus opposes both my Venus and Chiron from Leo in the 10th.

    I have a natural knack for detachment and a life saving capricorn mercury. But my moon and mars in scorpio are not happy with the cool analysis of worthiness or unworthiness that seems to make life easier. They want to dig and rant and are never satisfied with what seems superficial mental exercise.

    I bring safety and presence to relationships, I don’t judge and I can listen. People find it easy to open up. I have learned to detect if I’m projecting and I don’t have a helper syndrome wanting to fix or feel good because I give value advice. I let the other person be and assure them that they know best for themselves, it’s a matter of trusting your own instincts.

    I seem serious on the outside and not much fun, some find me too intense or intimidating but I’ve learned to smile more and small talk, something that I liked in others but found very difficult to do.

    Fixed signs like my two aqua children (who are adults) struggle with my unreliable grandiosity (sag sun) and manipulative (scorpio) indecisiveness (libra rising) but hey, they had a great childhood. That’s what they say (to others, when I’m not around)

    I’ve just called it quit with a long distance relationship that has definitely run it’s course. In a friendship manner, without drama. Moon and mars are still heckling in the background but Venus is happy. Ah yes, transiting Uranus is conjunct my South Node, the nodes are square the Venus Uranus opposition, a grand cross of sorts.

    That explains the current pressure.
    I do relationships well but I’m not much interested in getting to know many people. I tend to draw certain people to me and I recognise them. I can feel lonely at times, I can feel particularly lonely in a crowd.

    Astrology has done me good, I no longer bend over backwards to please anyone nor do I set myself unrealistic goals.

  7. i would say lovingness and kindness and closeness and cuddles all the time. Thats what i bring to the table. my husband says all the time i’m a loving and kind woman, and cry at movies that are so sad, and yet also happy movies. alot of men love kind and loving women. on the flipside i also love kind and loving men, who will never make me cry and always love me till the end and i them. Its romantic but it is a good thing. ^^
    and i love men who are good to others too. who aren’t shady and know they are good men and wont do bad, have good character and always be kind.

  8. I have Venus in 7th house with my sun and moon;I am easy to be with, I listen well
    Actually love to listen and learn different
    Views, minus bullshit, have met my quota on that.
    Takes a strong personality to hear the way I think, ?I try to keep my opinions until asked for. I admire strength and independence as well as caregivers
    Trying to have faith that as this planet spins certain things can play out without my wand employed.

  9. Most people think I’m strong and I think I’am (Capricorn) but sometimes not so much.
    Others say “oh you’re so fun (Gemini) I think it’s my youthful
    Curosity. FUN is not overrated and curosity is a must for me in however a relationship is defined.
    I become embarrassed (Virgo) when people tell me I’m very attractive, I’m not age young anymore.
    My favorite is hearing how interesting and a bit unpredictable (Uranus) I’am, not so sure that’s a positive…
    Boredom is my Greatest enemy and CUROSITY is my greatest gift.

  10. Elsa, your “never boring” quality has always been on the top of my most valued list! I think of personal interactions as condiments that enhance the meal (life), so spicy and surprising add the most flavor.
    What can I offer? Insatiable curiosity, sense of adventure, resourcefulness, and a cut to the chase, bottom-line attitude. Take it apart and fix it!
    2nd house Aries Mercury square 12th Cap Mars, Taurus Venus/IC opposing Scorpio Saturn/MC.

  11. Saturn in Virgo square Venus in Sag and Venus trine Pluto exact. But moon in Capricorn opposite Uranus.
    What do I bring: I’m very loyal and will be friends forever — but I have pretty high standards and am a little judgmental, so you have to measure up. If I see you have the same unresolved issues for decades, sorry, I just can’t.

  12. I have Venus conjunct Neptune in Sagittarius in the 7th house. At my best, I bring adventure, spontaneity, and optimism to a friendship. On the flip side, I think some people think I’m a little unrealistic, and they might be right. I have time and time again done something a little crazy because, “Hey, it’ll be fun, and if something goes wrong, it’ll make a good story.” Not everyone is up for that. So, most people don’t hear what I’m thinking… my Mercury in Scorpio knows how to keep my cards close to my chest. I wait to see if I think they’re open to some adventure first.

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