Hi Elsa!
I have started casually seeing a man. There is VERY INTENSE chemistry, but after a couple of months the relationship doesn’t seem to be moving forward. We are just getting together for (fantastic) sex – but not going out and doing things together, or spending time together.
I am a single Mum, so I can’t go out when I want to. I’m not sure if I am pushing things too fast too soon, or if I am wasting my time. I am enjoying myself with this guy, but I would also like to spend some more time with him – which he doesn’t want to do right now.
Should I give this guy more time to get to know me and perhaps decide that he would like to take things further? Or should I just let it go??
Single Mum
Dear Mum,
People who read my column probably expect me to tell you that you’re wasting your time. But I’m not so sure about that. I think you may just be confused.
You say you are getting together for sex… which you describe as intense. This tells me, that you are connecting. You are a Scorpio, so sex matters! And he has a stellium in Scorpio, so sex is important to him as well. Point is: you are having a significant intimate exchange with this man, so just what is it that you think you are missing?
I have a guess. You have a bunch of planets in Sagittarius and I expect you want to MOVE. You want to get out. But he can’t get you out. You’re a single mum, remember. So what is he to do?
Get hip to the fact that you are limited by your responsibility to your children… which has nothing to do with him. And will he work around this? Yes, actually I think he may. He is a very responsible type but probably frightened just like you.
You are frightened that you can have nothing more than what you’re getting at the moment. And he wants to do the right thing – i.e. not involve himself with someone’s children unless he means business.
So here is my advice: get real about your situation and the limits it imposes on you. Think about just exactly what it is you want, stacked up against what it is you can have. And beyond that, if it were me I would definitely keep the guy. I am a single mum, and good sex is heaven sent. We need all the stress relief we can get. We need to connect with another adult!
And this guy has done nothing wrong. His chart shows him to be quite a responsible character who is not going to ingratiate himself to your children, then leave them high and dry a week later. So I think your instincts are dead on. Go slow and see what develops. And don’t underestimate the exchange you’re already having.
Good luck.
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