Now I wrote that last soldier blog a couple weeks ago but didn’t post it because of the violence in it. And I have been sitting on several other blogs for the same reason. The Art, Astrology… Leonard Cohen bit morphed to being about “instant karma” which morphed to a blog about the backlash people suffer when they answer violence with violence. And after that, I continued to write.
And as I continued to write… more and more violence spilled from my Mars Mercury pen! And what am I supposed to do about this?
Well, it’s very hard for Libra to decide! Mars conjunct Mercury is going to be interested in violence. And placed in Libra it is going to be just as interested in NON-violence. Because of the balance, see? And not only can I see both sides when it comes to taking a position on violence, I can argue either one of them.
::sighs::
So sometimes I think I should curb the writing about violence on this blog. But then I think this can’t be right. Look how much you know about it, I say to myself. You have freakish knowledge about this, Elsa!
So anyway, in six months, I have asked for (and received) two obscure books on guess what? Violence! And yesterday as I held the new book in my hand, I realized (for the 1100th time) you just can’t get away from who you are.
Because the guy who wrote this book was terrorized in all ways, he was nearly killed writing his first book, but he still did it. Point being this is his gig. Nobody can write his books but him because he is inexplicably tied and involved with the shadow side and it makes little difference, his comfort level with this situation.
So anyway, after I got the book I decided it was no big deal to post the last blog. After all, this is what I do.
Do you ever struggle being the person you know you are?
yeah, i have four retrograde planets..it’s weird.
Do I ever struggle being the person you know you are? No. But the person I think I might be yes, or the person I might not be, that too. But in the very essence of knowing no.
I am pleased you posted this blog: how does someone with grandfather Henry hook up with the soldier? Isaw pictures yesterday, horrendous ones of a soldier with a tortured killed victim (the enemy). And I thought: that’s a soldier not unlike the soldier, and he might be with a girl like elsa who knows everything about violence, and about what he has seen, but has a philosophy of non-violence. How does a (practically militant :-))non-violent person sleep with a person who has killed (ties into the rape story too. In a way the soldier is burdened the same way, but even as an attacker). I do not say this to judge, it is fascinating. But it is a big puzzle too, that shadow side…
Amber – Welcome to my world.
I struggle constantly. I finally applied to art school and got accepted and am having some trouble allowing myself to describe myself as ‘artistic’ or even ‘successful.’ It’s bonkers.
I am working through it, though.
I’m sick of pretending to be insecure when I just too timid to approach my community when I actually recognize it.