My Two Timing Boyfriend Marrying The Other Woman

Dear Elsa,

I have been dating someone for the past year and half, only to find out through a mutual friend that this person has been in a relationship with someone else for the same amount of time. He has actually been living with her for the past year and half and will be marrying her this coming September. Of course I cannot describe the pain and disappointment, especially since I was totally open with him about everything and he made me a promise that he was honest as well. I was devastated to find out he didn’t even have the guts to tell me that he was getting married but that he would continue to see me while he was making plans to get married.

What I cannot seem to get over is why. Why would someone want to hurt someone else who showed them nothing but love and respect? Why play with other people’s feelings and why think its ok to do such a thing? How do Ii move on from the “why”? It’s not even that he is getting married, I have come to terms with that. It is the “why” that I cannot get over. Thanks.

Betrayed
Eritrea

Dear Betrayed,

With your Moon in Sagittarius conjunct Jupiter, you value truth and look for meaning in your experiences. Your Sun in Taurus indicates your self esteem would be intact even after suffering something of this magnitude, so you are acting in complete accord with your chart… which is always a good sign.

As to the “why” he did this, there are probably an endless number of reasons or explanations but I will give you mine and it’s very simple: people are individuals.

People set their own standards for their behavior and if they put their mind to it they can justify anything. A person like you can get lost trying to understand or comprehend how a person might act in such a low-minded way. But when you do this, you are actually being very narrow-minded yourself and if you open your mind (a Sagittarius forte), I think you can resolve this pretty readily.

For example, there are sociopaths in society. Sociopaths have no feelings, they have no remorse and you will be waiting a long time (until hell freezes over) waiting for a change of heart when there is no heart. It is really is this simple, especially for someone like you… a natural storyteller. Just tell yourself a new (true) story:

“I feel in with a sociopath and got my ass handed to me. Egads, what an experience. Pity the other woman – Thank God I got out of that alive – Whew!”

Good luck.