Dear Elsa,
I am in a quandary. I have been married for 6 years, and I am dreadfully unhappy with myself. I feel I should be ecstatic, for my husband is generous and treats me with kindness. However, as cruel as this sounds, I am not fully invested in the relationship. I feel I need someone who is emotionally deeper, for some reason, like a Scorpio.
I feel like I’m in love with a friend. Sadly, I feel a deeper connection with him than I do with my husband. Overall, I’m very, very restless right now, and I feel the need for change, but I feel stalled at the same time. What’s going on, and is there any hope that this will pass?
Unfulfilled Wife
Dear Wife,
Yes, this will pass. It is passing now. But your chart shows a very complex Venus (love) profile and I imagine once this passes, a similar scenario will set up. Because get this:
If you went with the Scorpio friend, this would not solve your problems. Instead, I guarantee you that before long, this whole business would constellate again. What business?
Well, your Venus in Pisces feelings of divine discontent. You feelings of being sacrificed. Also, your feelings of being deprived shown by the Saturn square to Venus in your chart. If you doubt this, just think about it.
You have a kind and generous husband, but how do you feel? You feel like you! You feel like you’re not getting enough. You feel yearning and set upon…the grass is greener on the other side and all that. And if you plug a different man in the slot, will it change your feelings? It won’t. Because these are your feelings.
If this is hard to understand, it may help to look at a situation outside yourself, so how about I use myself as an example. I am freedom loving son-of-a-bitch. I just am. But I crave relationship. And these things are hardwired.
So what do you think happens? I get hooked up and inevitably I want out! Not every day, but maybe every other day. ::smirks:: And do you think this has to do with the man? It doesn’t. I don’t care who you are. I am still going to have my freedom urges.
So for me and you (and everyone else) it’s a case of “wherever you go, there you are…” So you might want to start thinking along these lines. Get yourself conscious around how you are strung inside, because if not…
Well, back to me. Do I really want to run through men, ten a year? Three a year? Or even one a year? All because I am looking for a situation, or a man I will never want to escape, who does not even exist? I don’t think so. Much better to know yourself excellently well.
And I am not telling you to stay and suffer in your marriage. I am just saying, I think you’ll benefit by looking deeper.
Good luck.
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Wow, Elsa, this is a question I could’ve asked myself! Great advice, as always! Thank you very, very much for this!
So true…..!
Dear Elsa Elsa, Thanks for the good advice.
Elsa, thanks for your excellent advice! Sorry that the thank you is so late in coming, though. I’ve always felt chronically deprived, but there has never been any concrete reason for me to feel this way. Again, your insight is amazing!
Spot on analysis Elsa! As a Venus square Saturn myself and with nice aspects to Jupiter, AC/DC, and Pluto, this energy can prevail over the rest. It’s like being an Army tank with bullets of love bouncing off it. We can’t accept and even when we do, it’s with much resistance. Thanks for this.
Knowing full well I do not have this aspect (Venus square Saturn) I still had to pull up my chart and double check. I have Venus conjunct Neptune. I adore and idealize my loved ones until they show themselves to be flesh and bone and then the magic is gone. I still idealize them but now, at least, I know its me putting them on and kicking them off the pedestal. Seventh house Pisces moon squaring midheaven doesn’t help.
Right on, Elsa!
As a fellow Venus conjunct Neptune, in 12th house, I really had an idealistic view on love. It was always chasing a never-achievable dream. It was very exciting, being in love with an illusion. But the reality had kicked me in the gut quite a few times 🙂
Nevertheless, if one does not face its own personal issues and demons/internal reality, it would definitely punch him in the face from the outside…
Sometimes you just happen upon the perfect words and I did today, running across this post.
It’s time for me to buckle down and understand myself.