We read a lot about for North Node in synastry: how it pushes us out of our comfort zone, how it helps us learn the lessons we’re put on earth to learn, how planets in aspect to it can help up become the person we’re meant to be. This is great and important and shouldn’t be ignored. But if the North Node in synastry is so great, what does that say about the South Node?
In western astrology, the nodes are a reflection of past and future. The South Node represents that which we’ve already mastered, the comfortable tools we know exactly how to wield. The North Node represents the skills we need to obtain and the lessons we’ve yet to learn. They stand in eternal opposition to each other, showing us the points we are called to integrate.
So if a partner has planets conjunct our South Node, does it mean that they are holding us back? Maybe, but that wouldn’t be my first assumption. It depends a lot on the rest of the relationship, as well as the way each individual person approached their nodal journey. A long time ago I heard a saying, “Relationships should be both a soft place to fall and a laboratory for growth.” Planets in aspect to the North Node clearly provide the laboratory, whereas the South Node comes bearing pillows.
It’s true that sometimes this can take us to places we’d rather not go. Someone I know has a very fun, challenging friendship. She and her friend push each other, challenge each other, and drag each other out of their shells. Where it runs into snags, though, is that this person’s South Node in Cancer is conjunct her friend’s Mars. Even though she is normally a firebrand, the very thought of her friend’s anger sends her retreating into her shell, nursing resentment rather than confronting the problem. The relationship pushes and pushes, and when she needs a little relief, she relaxes into the loving arms of…Mars. It certainly doesn’t provide much cushion in case of a fall. What is does do, though, is force this person to become very familiar with the ways she retreats and hides, and asks her to audit her own behavior in conflicts. She gets stronger every time.
On the other hand, I live a life that forces me toward my North Node on a regular basis. From my profession to my spirituality to the very setup of my home, it’s all North Node, all the time. In addition, several of my closest people, including my partner, have planets conjunct my North Node. This is very rewarding, but given that my North Node is in Aries, those sharp edges can be a little exhausting. Luckily for me, two of my very best friends have their Moons conjunct my South Node. When I am around them, I lay down my armor, let go of the fight, and simply be. They are the very definition of a soft place to fall. There’s no regression here. They’re clearly not holding me back. They are giving me a chance to rest.
So if you are looking at a synastry chart and see planets conjunct the South Node, don’t panic. There’s a lot more to it than “North Node progress, South Node regress.” Look at which planets we’re talking about. Look at the tone of your relationship. Look at the rest of your life. And look for the ways that your partner provides comfort and safety. There’s nothing wrong with a soft place to fall.
Does someone you know have planets conjunct your South Node? What is it like?
How do you keep going and not lose steam when so much North Node energy is around you all the time? Sometimes it just feels like the world is spitting in your face (I have the North Node in Aries..) I wouldn’t stand a North Node home, I need it to be a place to recharge and be me. But, I avoided south node synastry because typically the person’s advice would set me back.
My partner’s Mars in Taurus conjuncts my South Node exectly to a degree (and DC also, but 3 degrees orb) . On the other hand his Uranus in Scorpio conjuncts my NN, Moon and AC. He challenges me to be more relaxed, outgoing.. but he is also the person i’m most comfartable with from the day we met. When we argue it’s always very shortlived, we don’ t hold grudges.
That was brilliant. I’ve been studying astrology since April 10th 2010, and have ALWAYS believed that there was much being discounted about the South Node, and it really bothered me that everything I researched came to NN progress SN regress. I smacked of the old beliefs that there benefic and malefic planets and that was it. Thank you, once again, Midara for bringing Astrology into the 21st century, finally! I will remember forever that SN means a soft place to land.
My ex partner had his Moon on my SN.
That was not a soft place to land. It was in Capricorn.
It was ‘Get up and get yourself together’ grow up and all that kind of stuff.
His sun was on my DSC. But my Nessus was conjunct his sun too. I could never trust him fully or 100%….never surrender myself over to him. These two were quincunx our SN conjunction with his moon.
His Saturn was also square my Sun, Venus and Jupiter. I felt confined and judged often.
In a way he was my stoic mother all over, unable to open up and be vulnerable and unable to be emotionally cuddly. I was too Scorpio/8th house for him as well, in conflict with his Leo and gemini planets.
So… Again, it really depends on how the overall horoscope and synastry looks. And the nature of the two people. He had almost no planets in water/8th house while I had almost too much water and 8th house energy. We were direct opposites, and it was for the very best he left me. Because I met a man with his sun conjunct my NN, and we have the most beautiful synastry and composite chart I have ever seen with any of my previous partner’s.
Great topic! My husband and I are about six weeks apart in age. We both just turned 36 and will have our nodal returns this year. His Venus conjunct Mars in the 10th squares his north and South node, which means it squares mine too since our Nodes are conjunct. My moon and Mars trines both of our north nodes, and sextiles our south nodes. However, my Sun and both our Jupiter’s conjunct our south nodes. Since my Sun/Jupiter is in my MC along with my south node, my N/S nodes square my AC/DC.
I’m not sure what all this means except my Jupiter/Sun needs to shine less, but maybe try to help others shine (Gemini N node in 3rd almost on the IC) by asking questions and listening instead of making up stories? I’m not sure how this playing out in my relationship with my husband.
His mars is conjunct my south node 12th house…definitely amazing/spiritual/other worldly sex and the the tightest bond I’ve ever experienced. But it’s definitely not without it’s fighting it’s calmed down a lot now once I realized the karmic link now I feel kind of…idk the word, not bored but it seems like there’s more now especially with everything we been through. Had we not gone through that I would’ve stayed but it was obviously subconsciously depleting my growth and it was time to spread my wings. Mars isn’t a good planet to have with the south node, there’s force there, maybe sun moon and Venus and Mercury but mars too harsh; at least for me!
Have you left?