I spoke with a friend yesterday. His deepest, darkest secret has been exposed. I’ve been through this, twice. The first time was an agony; I thought I’d die. The second time… well, it was like the second time your heart is broken. It’s easier to cope.
I want to specify, in all three cases, these secrets was kept, not due to shame over what was be concealed, but for positive reasons. These things are personal and a person is entitled to some privacy, but also only the nosy could gain from disclosing the secret. Further, it would cost innocent people if the secret were to come out.
In reality, keeping secrets of this ilk, is a burden but it’s often the best choice, not only for the person doing the containing but also for the people around them, who may be many!
But this is happened and now there will be gossip. Some in your circle are likely to suicide themselves from your group, by tossing their log onto the fire surrounding you. It’s painful but they’re pathetic and now you know. Who needs a friend who folds like an omelet?
These things usually happen under Pluto transits. The stone is upturned and the worms are exposed. It’s ultimately liberating so long as you avoid one trap. That trap being that you become someone who can no longer trust anyone.
I think this scene is a quintessential example of how what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. And those who betray you? It comes around, I have no doubt. Badly, when you least expect it, because what you’ve essentially done here is kick someone when they’re down. Always a bad idea.
Have you ever gone through this process? What can you tell us about it?
This reminds me of when I was having a tense discussion with my half sister. My blood relative through her, my father, is now dead. I felt a very strong sensation that that side of the family didn’t want much to do with me, did not give cards or presents at Christmas etc. It just hit me at one point that the last conversation I had with my father before he died, he was telling me about the sexual encounter he had that apparently birthed this little girl. It was one time, it was very brief because his disability stopped him. So, from both feeling that they didn’t consider me family and putting this together I asked if she was actually my biological sister.
I, of course, have no answer. She volunteered before I even mentioned it that she would not be taking a genetic test. I don’t see her anymore because she doesn’t like me anyway even regardless of that discussion.
It’s an interesting phenomena. There are many different statistics on the men who are raising children they believe are theirs but aren’t. Between 3% – 48% according to the study. I think 23andme has revealed far more than was thought to be the case. Most seem to settle on 10%. My cousin, who now has four kids I think, the oldest does not know that she is from a different father than she was told. She thinks she is from the father of the second oldest. I have also informally known this situation with other individuals.
Not that I think that’s your secret but I think that theme as it relates to secrets is just waiting to come out all over the world.
Incredible story & a sad story. But as you say this is more common than one realizes around the world.
It doesn’t matter how many years pass the pain still remains. There are many who were abandoned as a child. My Mother & Father divorced. Dad took off no one knew where he went Mom dropped me off at my Grandma’s she never came back. There is no way to describe how my heart was broken and how I felt worthless and afraid. Within a month after being left with Grandma I was stricken with Kidney disease. The story is to long to write. But I have never felt I deserved Love.
My Birthday is Christmas Day. I never received a present as a child twouoday I still struggle with not feeling worthy of being loved.
So sorry to hear you went through so much pain. You are worthy, deserving and loveable! Hope you will find warmth, serenity and heal your wounded child, despite it being a long road to go. As long as you don’t stop walking the road to healing and one day to see it for yourself with your own eyes and feel it within your own heart that you are loveable and you are Love! things are gonna get better and hurt less, Give it time. Children deserve all the love, all the laughter and all the gifts, even if they are 10, 20, 60 years old or more! Shine on Christmas baby! 💫
Hello Wounded Child.
Yes, that is a very unpleasant story and your parents should be shot, or worse. I’m not sure how it relates to my story though; was there some indication of a paternity issue breaking your parents up? I gave that story because it relates to the theme of secrets. The secret being of course my half sister is likely not my DNA and even if she is, she is behaving as though she is not. As though there is some secret she is keeping.
My story with my half sister I don’t consider particularly tragic or really notable emotionally. Bear in mind my father had Rheumatoid Arthritis and I also have an auto immune disease so I would prefer my half sister did have different DNA if it would spare her that issue. Plus, also, my father could very well have been an actual psychopath due to some of his behaviours in earlier life and an apparent inability to emotionally empathise or understand others in any way, so potentially not good genes. He left when I was six months but my mother was/ is an ideal parent.
But I really don’t think much about my sister. She has made her choice and probably considers a disabled brother below her anyway. She’s one of these hyper achieving types.
I remember an older man one time had said to me after something, pretty embarrassing went in public and hit the paper and the checkers at the grocery store, were ever so happy to cut the article out and put it facing every person who walked down their aisle, it wasn’t more to do with me then the guy I was married to ,an older man told me you’re not famous for long ,don’t forget they’all will be going to the next thing next week don’t let it go to your head. I think he was trying to tell me don’t let this break your heart ,everybody has their day , it’ll Be goodbye it will get forgotten , don’t remember any pain in me over memory now ? just that moment just that very moment , hurt.You’ll repair, promise.
Oh wounded one, you are loved as a gramma
Who raised a few it’s the Mamas who felt they couldn’t give good enough and the child deserved more, don’t think for a minute that your mama didn’t love you she always will. She didn’t wanna leave you baby. She thought she wasn’t good enough .It was probably the hardest thing she ever did and a pain she wears every day but you get to this planet because two sink there should be more of you. it’s a love it’s an insatiable moment !! oh, you are magic babies !!you are loved you are loved you are definitely loved .
I’ve come back to this post a couple times attracted by the dark side but also the terrific turn of phrase: “Who wants a friend who folds like an omelette?” Ha, is a visceral sense … a good omelette is one of my favorite meals; but an omelette cannot be counted on to have your back!
My experience with the down-side of the omelette could describe what it’s like when I could no longer live inside a house, or with the usual fragrances and chemicals everywhere. Allergic to everything. But that wasn’t really it. This was just the way most people could explain “the secret “ reason for living in the car!
Many friends folded like whipped up eggs never to be reconciled. The long term story is as Satori said, “It’s not yet over cuz it’s not over.” So many ways to understand someone’s story. Trusting someone with it? That’s the faith part.
I shared my interests with some people at one point, and they were determined to prove me wrong. They believed my interests meant I felt a certain way about myself—better than them—which couldn’t have been further from the truth. That was what they felt, not me. I’m just a person.
Anyway, I will take the opportunity to shed as much light on the situation, when I get the chance. They believe they exposed me—that I’m not perfect, I guess? That I am human? Ha. They did this in the dark. I will open the blinds for every window in the building so we can all see everything in the light of day.
So i know of a rape in the family. And the child given up for adoption. And i do not tell because it is not my story. The pain is some one elses pain. So i never said anything.
But others in the family think i should have been told, and they hold grudges against the one who lived that story. I am tempted to tell them, yeah, i know, but it is not MY story and neither is it yours so mind your own business.