Omg the hot flashes. They feel like the inside of your body is an oven. Literally. And I don’t mean the millenial “literally”. ?

A small gel ice pack stuck down in your bra brings a hot flash to a screeching halt. I have one that is cloth covered.

I hate this perimenopause stuff! I am getting closer to my Chiron return and am hoping that I will get into menopause and get it over with. The crazy symptoms range from severe mood swings to nausea and joint pain. UGH! I started hot flashes in my 30s and when Uranus opposed my Uranus around 2011/12, the heart palps kicked in and so did severe nausea. My dr had told me that I was too young for menopause, LOL! Yeah right! But the symptoms go away after a while and get replaced with new ones.

I found out the hard way that it's important to make an extra effort to keep your Vitamin D levels up around the age of menopause. It sucks to find out that you have drug around for months and it was just a stupid low vitamin level. 

Yes, vitamin D is important but I can't take vitamins because they mess my bowels up. Everytime I try to take vitamins, they mess me up.

I try to get sunlight for vitamin D. But my joints/bones hurt and I know that I am going to be a prime candidate for more broken bones the older I get.

Gotta be extra careful/cautious.

56 and the last 6 months have really stretched out between periods. I used to be fine in every way and suddenly all hell broke loose. Not really, but I’ve not kept up with regular checkups since before the pandemic, so as I catch up I’m getting old people news, sigh. I actually did have covid in April and it freaked me out to recognize my vulnerability. In every way, but honestly health wise. I have Virgo and Scorpio stelliums so I am used to being basically ok or getting over things if I am not. I’m not much of a trooper. So the medical and mental things I’ve been through I won’t even list- I’m knocking things off as I either find out I’m ok, or, something is off but I can fix it. Not happy I have cataracts, one eye is way worse. Ok, apparently surgery fixes it and people are happy with it. My back- going to physical therapy, losing some weight, I know at a normal weight I feel good, and by strengthening my core it should keep things feeling ok. I’ve neglected my back for a few years so it’s time to get all the expert opinion I can on this. 
Back to menopause- the last few years have been super stressful and my brain has been on the fritz- could be a combo of both. But I get the results of my Pap smear today and while there’s no abnormal cells it shows atrophy I.e. thinning and dryness. Ok so hold up. WHAT? So that’s from your hormones and also lack of sex. Really? This is what I get?? I have not had a relationship since my ex husband - 2014!! And not everyone gets this. So I’m here with my cataracts and my non WAP and I’m like- ok now for real I am talking to my doctor about hormone replacement. I saw the podcast with Peter Attia and Andrew Huberman and hormones seem to be really worth replacing. The risks have been way overstated. 
I have brain fog, some light sweating at night, feeling emotionally bad- I am absolutely going to deal with this. You *can* bring back your, um…cooter. LOL. I may not be using it now but damn I might want a relationship and I want things functional! Funny this is the straw that broke the camel’s back. I’ve been beaten down and wondering if I have to start accepting things, feeling bad and then this - my vagina is not something I want to give up! HELL NO. There’s even a laser that has given fantastic results. I don’t care about the bleeding, good riddance. But the rest of it- no, no, this is going to be addressed. 
That’s my menopause update