This made me cry
((((Sadiablo)))

Yeah isn't that crazy. There is trauma etiquette, this is the normal route ...what? That paragraph was powerful Sad...I'd copy and paste in like cee cee too, but my iPads difficult.

Experienced both. Took a long time to understand what was and wasn't ...and even if the trauma gets dealt with , the symptoms can have paved so much ground there is no turning point.

I don't know. Pluto was on my dc , Neptune ending its transit trough my eight house this year , I think I recognise more ...is trauma 8th or 12th house business...hmm

I'm not sure. I have repressed a lot of stuff. But I automatically cringe whenever men try to touch me. : My body remembers better than my mind.

This really hits home! I'm working on "digging up" some old memories myself and dealing with them now to try to break a cycle that's been created. It's hard when things get so burried into your subsoncious, you don't know WHY you are the way you are or WHY you keep attracting these things or people into your life. You feel like you have no control over it, but you must have complete control over it, you must be doing SOMETHING. You must be subconsciously seeking it out. You know? I would really like to talk about abuse and how it's a cycle that repeats itself in someone's life. Heavy topic, but if anyone else is going through breaking the cycle, I would like to talk to them.

I have had a lot of repressed stuff come up recently that really knocked me for a loop. Feelings of isolation and being unwanted my peers and such. But this is the right time to go over it I feel since I have been being more creative and reflective, it hurts but it's going to heal now and that is the best news ever. I just hope I never suppress anything again.q

I was a super sensitive kid, so I wondered if I was just being a Drama Queen.

I would wonder if I actually experienced what I thought I did (the traumatic experience), or if I was just being a wuss and dramatizing/imagining the whole thing. (That's probably called denial, lol.) Then, I find out later what I thought I experienced did happen and that it was actually something traumatic.

Meanwhile, I was not even aware I was being traumatized while it was happening because I didn't know that wasn't how it was supposed to be and that it was wrong. I just know what I experienced was upsetting, but I wouldn't categorize it as traumatic.

I have Neptune rising, I had Pluto in the 12th House for a long time, and I was also having transiting Neptune oppose my Leo stellium for some years.

I also project it to some extent. :/

This year, I realized "walking on eggshells" around a certain person was not normal behavior because it was a normal occurance for me. I read about it before, but did not make the connection in its relation to me until 7 years after I first read it. I didn't know it wasn't normal.

In realization of my experiences, I feel like the Plutonian in my old friend group now, which I guess would be Pluto in the 11th.

Pandora's Box. Once you go into the rabbit hole, there's no coming back. You have to dig your way through to the other side. But it's as endless as the infinite universe. Congratulations on recognizing this SaDiablo. Changes everything you ever thought about anything, doesn't it? Once you deal with the subconscious, you realize humans are so complex it's almost unfathomable. That's why indepth psychology is so difficult to study and always ultimately analysis that differs. I believe Carl Yung is yet to be, truelly acknowledged, for the genius that he was. Sanity and insanity.. is merely a difference in opinion, as is right and wrong, and just about anything else you can lay on the disecting table. The only thing you can reasonably trust is cause and effect, action and consequence. However the judgement for that, is yet again, balanced upon our hidden subconscious. So..round and round she goes..where she stops... noone knows. Pandora's Box.