Thinking about this some more... I think it is less ‘need for approval’ and more fear of disapproval.  I am actually uncomfortable with approval; it makes me squirm and I feel like a fraud. Still, I dread disapproval far more than approval.

When I am triggered, I know both disapproval and approval are two sides of the same coin: other people’s opinions. As such they don’t matter anywhere as much as my own inner assessment of what’s true.

When I am triggered, I am a pinball machine. When not triggered, I am a normal, happy, well-functioning adult! Thank goodness I am not triggered very often.

Transits and composite charts can show the possible triggers, so forewarned is forearmed. Thank goodness for astrology!

Need is represented by the moon. I would look at Moon-Saturn especially if the issue is approval from an authority figure/someone above you. In a more general sense, I'd look at Moon-Venus: need to be liked by others.

My Moon squares Saturn AND Venus--lucky me, lol.

I think it's Capricorn/Saturn. At least in the early years.

I have MC in Capricorn and Cap rules my 10th and Venus Square Saturn. I was super shy as a kid because I never wanted to look silly. I never was a free kid because everything embarrassed me. I guess I felt inadequate and didn't think I'd get approval from my peers. It's not because my parents or anyone made me feel this way, it's just how I felt.

My oldest has Cap rising and 10th house stellium. He's similar. Someone he was working with once said he was very eager to please his parents even though he felt very loved and supported by them. It kind of broke my heart that he felt this way but I understood. I've spoken to him about this and told him around 14 I feel hell become more sure of himself and as he ages it'll just get better. It's what happened to me.

I too have MC in Cap like you!

My husband has a 10th house stellium. He very much grew out of the trying to please phase. He does NOT care one tiny little bit what anyone else thinks and seeks no one's approval. You can offer one more example to your son! ?

Yeah, for sure. I feel this myself. I think my rising and moon kicked in. I'll do what I want and I don't care or need anyone's approval. It's really freeing.

My son's 13 now and just recently his teacher told me that's he's really been coming out of his shell. That he's funny and no longer seems scared of his own shadow. Ha! How timely. He's gaining more self confidence every day.