Yes, that's a good point, I have said that to myself and it does relieve some of the angst.

It isnt even something I have any intentions to act on.  It just sits there, permenantly in the back of my mind ,and the thoughts and fantasies are totally unconscious and uncontrollable when they surface.  It helps that I realize that a lot of it is my own self that I am trying to get back to, and not necessarily another person. I wish I could say it helps to have faith in god to bring me back to my eternal self, but you cant escape your own pathology, and I know that I have a long way to go..so i just feel flawed and ashamed deep down for this.  So its enough to keep you spinning around in circles.

Right. Maybe say to yourself that this isn't my path so let's let the grass grow back instead of continuing to walk it into mud. 

Who says you cant overcome your pathology? Its an addiction. Its the belief that youre not whole as you are. Beliefs can absolutely be changed, in my experience. I do think acknowledgment of the shame is very brave and a great step to healing it. 

I've experienced this a couple of times in my life.  I have Venus in Scorpio square Pluto in Leo.  I've always had problems letting go of things, but eventually I ended the obsession and walked away, even though it hurt me very much at the time.  I just wanted to be free of it.

WinterMoon said
New name for something old. A strong brew, Venus, Pluto, Neptune, throw in some Mercury, Moonlight and Uranus. 

  

Disagree.  Too vague and generalized.

Venus and/or Mars square Neptune.

How do I know?

Just went through it.

Or, I should say, still am.

Experience...

Sorry to hear that Chad.