“…Make me think I’m crazy when I know I’m not
And all my friends keep on telling me
(Wait someday you’ll see)
But, ooh, she’s got those sexy thighs
She’s an angel with the devil in her eyes…”
-Les Dudek in “What’s It Gonna Be”. (Video below.)
I first heard this song in 1980. It was my introduction to “gaslighting”. I was fascinated by it. I loved the lyrics, though they were beyond me, simply because I could not figure out why she was doing this to this guy? Maybe you need more of the song…
“…So I wish you’d make up your mind
Tell me, what it’s gonna be?
I’m tired of hearin’ those same old lines
From a re-run blue movie.
You take me to the limit without a thought
Make me think I’m crazy when I know I’m not
And all my friends keep on telling me..”
This whole business was foreign to me. I couldn’t think of a single reason why she was messing with this guy. I can’t believe I’m still thinking of this 45 years after the fact. But I got a new insight into “gaslighting” and this came to mind.
This gal in the song is what I would call, “gamey”. She’s playing games with him for whatever purpose. He seems to like it well enough. She may have some other motive, but from what’s presented, the situation is consensual. There are darker shades of gaslighting, no one talks about. Maybe there is another word for what I’m thinking of. It’s one of my reasons I’m posting this.
What do you call it when you are absolutely wrong about something, and a person who knows this, but looks you right in the eye and tells you’re you’re right?
“Two plus two is six.”
“Yes.”
“My boyfriend isn’t cheating on me.”
“Of course not,” says the woman he’s cheating with. “He’d never do that to you. He loves you soooo much.”
You see that’s a lot darker.
Now, think of the influencer/brainwasher, who confirms your bias. “Yes, that xyz is safe for you to eat or take or give to your kids…” They know otherwise.
And what it the thing they’re peddling is going to cause egregious harm? “Oh yes! That’s safe and very beneficial for you.”
Are we in psychopath territory, yet? Or is this simply “buyer beware”?
Is it okay to lie like a rug, if you’re actively selling? If the camera is on?
What if you’re selling, death? Still okay?
What to you think of this? Are there lines here? If so, where to the lines go?
Thank you for reminding us to think about this. One of the things that leads to our greatest misfortunes at this time is that we are all so deluded–thoughtlessly trusting who we shouldn’t, and hard-nosed skeptical beyond belief of those who are, in reality, the most honest with us. It’s a conundrum that affects everyone across all dimensions of our society in one way or another. How do we at least try to identify when this is going on and mitigate it?
yep – if it’s on TV – it’s the TRUTH….and until Evil Liars are in charge of it, nothing will get better. The TV is the Ultimate Authority. Remember when we had Truth in Advertising and Ralph Nader who watched out for liars? How Listerine was banned from TV Commercials for 10yrs because they falsely claimed to kill the germs that caused the common cold? How our Government knew, if it’s put on the TV, the people will SWALLOW. They made alcohol and cigarette commercials illegal – but the GOOD DRUGS, by GOOD PHARMA – plastered in everyone’s eyes.
I’d call it predatory manipulation – when you have inside information that tells you the other person is at a disadvantage in some way and you use that to manipulate them to your advantage. Sometimes the only insider info they need is to understand that they are there to hurt you, while you think you’re just in a normal situation with a normal person, on a level playing field.
This is where instinct and intuition come into play. We almost always get danger signs or red flags with these people but they are easy to ignore because they’ve mastered their ‘bait’ game. They’re charming or charismatic, and they understand exactly what bait to dangle in front of you to get you to ignore what your instinct, and probably intuition, is telling you.
Think of animals that have developed a physical ‘bait’ trait – like the angler fish. Before you even realize it, you’re caught in its teeth. You thought you were snacking on a tasty worm but instead something meaner and nastier is now snacking on you.
I guess the key here is to use our instincts to discern when there is a string attached to the worm and not let our ‘hunger’ blind us. There are angler fish in the human world too.
Swimming with a friend, we’re both eight years old.
Stepping off, she didn’t quite clear the diving board, caught on a corner, eek
Crimson bloom climbing up her belly, drenching the one-piece suit, we grabbed arms, locked eyes – hers in shock, mine in terror – and my neptune/jupiter delusion machine got right to work, spinning: That must be red kool-aid, right? And she, nodding, Uh-huh…
I could feel my mind wanting to block out what I knew was next…stitches? down there? And how much she, shaking, petrified, wanted to do the same.
(No surprise, her mom shared no such illusion, and took her to the doctor pronto.)
So, In our childish case, the gaslighting was a mutual denial, born of a desire to unmake a painful reality, to live in the “before” time.
Very interesting. This gives me some insight into why people carry on as if nothing has changed. Thank you, Ade.
You’re welcome Elsa, I’m glad it revealed something. Your writing has done that for me in spades, and your “voice” is in my head sometimes (in a helpful way, like a therapist’s).
Thank you, always.
There’s a line in a Sheryl Crow song ‘ lie to me, I promise, I’ll believe’.
on the other hand…
Yeah, I was out of touch
But it wasn’t because I didn’t know enough.
I just knew too much…
[Chorus 1]
Does that make me crazy?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=msrkhrdQHLU
“Now, think of the influencer/brainwasher, who confirms your bias. “Yes, that xyz is safe for you to eat or take or give to your kids…” They know otherwise.
And what it the thing they’re peddling is going to cause egregious harm? “Oh yes! That’s safe and very beneficial for you.”
Are we in psychopath territory, yet? Or is this simply “buyer beware”?”
Spot on! Definitely psychopath territory, although I would prefer to call it psychopathic CULT territory.
Sometimes I wonder if I’m imagining things, if I am indeed actually gaslighting myself, but it seems that the majority of people are talking/posting the exact same things, word for word, like hypnotised robots. There’s no questioning, and more importantly, no individuality.
I do wonder if we have collectively sleepwalked into a worldwide cult.
Looking at a particular Cancerian with Moon in Virgo. As I believe he is fast becoming very instrumental in this collective paradigm. He is immensely popular, and don’t you dare criticise
or breathe a wrong word about him, otherwise you’ll be treated as a sheeple pariah who wants to censor so called “free speech” (which is a misnomer, nothing “free” about it at all). It would be like insulting the Pope!
Suffice to say, he has had Neptune transiting his 9TH house since May 2022. I will leave you to draw your own conclusions about that.
enablers.
yes men.
🐒 ‘Flying Monkeys’ i think are often used as this description of ‘hangers on’ telling said person what they want to hear..
there’s numerous songs i think with such in the lyrics i think 🤔
My issue is not with emotional gas-lighting(Aries moon and mercury, I can see through that BS and I will cut you lol) but the toxic crap that companies get away with. I have Neptune in Scorpio in the 6th house, and I was accidentally poisoned and had my stomach pumped as a child. Now I have rage at companies like Dow chemical. Teflon was for coating tanks, and greedy management wanted MORE money so they convinced people that frying pans needed teflon, and you couldn’t buy a baby mattress that wasn’t coated with toxic chemicals, etc. It’s everywhere. Fear of contact with toxic chemicals and microplastics on a Daily Basis!(Neptune scorpio 6th). We can never get away from the forever chemicals unleashed on us by greedy management who don’t listen to their scientists and use their army of lawyers to avoid accountability. I didn’t need more convincing but I watched the film “Dark Waters”. Robert Billot is a hero and Mark Ruffalo a hero for playing him. LOVE YOU ELSA!!! Be safe and well everyone!!!!
Thanks, Janel!