Control Freak In Relationship: Double Libra in Love

libra scales vintage pendant

Hi Elsa!

I’m a silly mid-20s Libra who proclaims to live by the seat of her pants, but really just wants to plan. Nearly 2 years ago, I started a relationship with an older Leo and now that our relationship has been progressing, I feel like I’m on this perpetual “…ok…now what…” plane of existence.

We started as friends, then I nudged him to say we were dating. We were dating, and then I nudged him to admit we were “seeing each other exclusively”. We were exclusive, and then we came to “so we’re boyfriend and girlfriend, right?” Then we arrived at the “love” stage of things.

I guess I’m just a person who likes things to be laid out well in advance. The truth is that I know I’m not ready for marriage in my life, but I want him to say, “in the future…” and give me some “planned timing”. At least get a “Not now, but someday” statement out of him, but he is sticking to saying that he can’t think about it seriously now, since he’s not where he wants to be financially, stability wise, etc…

Am I just being overzealous in my planning? Should I just step back and enjoy the relationship I have…especially since I don’t want baby bundles or wedded bliss right now, either? I guess I’m just petrified that when I come to my own personal “someday” – and feel ready for that step – that he won’t be.

Pushy Libra?

Dear Pushy,

Pushy with a question mark? Are you asking me? Hell yes, you are pushy! You’re a total control freak! And you’re very smart to have identified this behavior at your age. Know why? Because if you don’t curb this tendency, you are going to push yourself into a total state of misery.

You’re actually beyond merely a Libra. You have your Sun and Moon in Libra, part of a stellium in the sign, which rules relationships, with an emphasis on RULES in your case! In other words you are a Libra on steroids and check you out.

You get a man… a specimen really, and you set about herding him like a cow up the ramp, into the truck, to slaughter. And the crazy thing is this is not even what you want! You are apparently repulsed by your own controlling behavior, which is a best case scenario. Best case because you’ve no problem zeroing in on what you need to alter. So here’s a sketch of you with an upgrade – version 2.8.

Double Libra, you understand how important it is for you to relate to another person. You also understand you tend to be dominant and control the course of things but you learn to curb your impulse because you are smart enough to see that when you do this, you are not actually “relating” to the other at all. It’s pure masturbation, see. He may be in the room, but you’re the only one doing the diddling! And how satisfying is that?

See, obviously you have the ability to control your partner. But will it bring you happiness? No! What you want is to give and take. To balance your partner. Which means he has something to say in the thing, yes? So I say ease off. For his sake, but mostly for your own.

Good luck.

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5 thoughts on “Control Freak In Relationship: Double Libra in Love”

  1. ‘you are not actually “relating” to the other at all. It’s pure masturbation, see. He may be in the room, but you’re the only one doing the diddling! ‘

    This part is my favorite.
    Sometimes im so self obsessed and controlling that i dont think i ‘see’ the other person im talking to. Just what i want to change in them or how were different or how theyre gonna love this anecdote about me

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