Venus And Mars: Lovesick Men Redux… And Lovesick Women Too

love-heart.jpgRegarding those lovesick men, max quotes me:

“Are you aware of men loving women or does it seem otherwise to you?”

And writes:

Since I am a man and clearly not entitled to an opinion, I cannot say.

I would say that I have occasionally experienced this here alien emotive complex referred to as love. Unpleasant business really.

[‘There’s all this stuff about commitment and my bank account.’]

Now the soldier has told me the same thing more than once. That if he has a choice whether to be in love or not, he is not sure he would choose the love. The first time he said it I was fairly appalled but I have come to understand his feelings and have in fact experienced them myself.

Like when I was driving to go see him the other day when I was pissed off out of my mind. It was just so obvious to me I was in the car hurtling down the highway for one reason and one reason only, I love him. I didn’t want to see him – I was MAD and it is somewhat disturbing to be hijacked in this way.

It is disturbing while simultaneously soothing but it still disturbing and at that point I really saw his point and it’s been helpful. These days I realize the less reactive I am the more I learn and the more a women can learn about men, the easier it is to get along with one of them.

One of the things I have learned is not to be all appalled when the soldier tells me something or obviously he’s not going to tell me anything and that will be my loss.

What have you learned about the opposite sex?

15 thoughts on “Venus And Mars: Lovesick Men Redux… And Lovesick Women Too”

  1. (Of men) they require love and intimate friendships with other men as much as women do.
    The men that I know…will give an honest opinion if asked. No beating around the bush.
    They will also appreciate flirting without ‘meaning’ anything.
    Everyone needs fun and an opportunity to express their love and commitment in their own way.

  2. Shaina, the soldier found a t-shirt in WY that says “Military Fighting Machine” and has a picture of a burro…. of his dream burrito he wants to ride around on when he is older with little captions pointing to parts on the burro as they relate to a tank.


    But I have Uranus in the 7th so sort of like being with a dick. Ha ha ha

  3. heh, of my Aries SO and myself, I’m the one who views romantic love with a large dose of skepticism and caution. He has a Saturn/Neptune conjunction in the 7th opposing his Aries Moon (for which I am very grateful . . .) OTOH, I have Moon conjunct Neptune in Libra and by the time I went through my first Saturn Return, I had beat myself up so badly by blindly walking off various cliffs in the name of “Love”, I was (& still am) very, very wary about the whole being “in love” thing . . .

    so I’m with the Soldier and Max on this one! 🙂

  4. It is disturbing while simultaneously soothing but it still disturbing

    Elsa! Sweetie! That was me, after four days of rewiring Antarctica for high-speed internet, engaging in a very deadpan joke. (I suppose I should’ve added a smiley, but then I’ve gotten out of the habit because many places frown on that sort of thing.) The butt of the joke was MOI! mostly. Since on the net one will encounter the geek dudes, like this guy with the robot girlfriend. Obviously, he’s a schizoid and as a consequence is totally socially retarded, but he isn’t hurtin’ anybody. So there’s that.

    At any rate, I have, in fact, engaged in very public displays of affection… {talks really low} some of which were obscene and could’ve gotten arrested. BUT THAT’S NOT IMPORTANT RIGHT NOW.* What is important is… um… oh, yeah! I’m very very sure men are perfectly capable of being lovesick and whatnot.

    [‘So don’t take any of that seriously. Sorry for the confusion.’]

    * 😉

  5. Yeah, what you said at the end rings true for me, too, Elsa. I have had to get used to some of the things men do– the men I find attractive anyway– because the blunt nature I appreciate tends not to mince words to preserve my feelings.

    On the other hand, becoming more removed from the situation and examining my relationships with men more objectively, I’ve been able to discover (for example) that when one of my guy friends talks about pretty girls he finds attractive, he’s not yanking my chain to hurt my feelings. I’m pretty sure it’s just a semi-conscious thing he does to get attention. I’d rather be able to hear something like that and learn not to be bothered by it, than dump an otherwise worthwhile friendship.

    I will say, though, that one thing I still can’t stomach is guys wearing stupid t-shirts. One of my exes/friends is 24 and has a shirt that says “dangerously cheesy” with Chester the Cheetah on it. Mars Libra/Moon Libra says “HELL NO.”

  6. I have learned that men ALWAYS assume you like them back, no matter how hard you try NOT to flirt with them, or treat them in any special way, or treat them like you would a girl.

    I have to say, this is the #1 thing I hate about men. There are some guys out there that have really surprised me in unpleasant ways. I talked to them ONCE and then they think I love them madly. And I am NOT flirtatious or attractive! Ugh.

  7. Hehehe… but see, that’s funny!

    Or maybe it really only bothers me when it’s “my” man walking around wearing it. LOL

  8. I’m not sure I’ve ever really learned anything I can quantify as being about “men.” I do know that I’ve learned a lot about myself from being in relationships with men.

    oh wait: men hate it when you cry; try to avoid that if you can.

  9. The generalizations about men are hard to make. . .there are always exceptions.

    Generally speaking though, I have learned from/about men is how to negotiate and communicate more effectively by compartmentalizing the emotions. I’m not always great at that, but with a Scorp Moon, I have to try to harness them. The power is sometimes in what you *don’t* say.

    And I’ve learned that men are much more sensitive, engaging, sharing, motivated people when they are having lots of sex. 😀

  10. Jennifer – that’s SO true! And I have to say it’s the #1 thing I dislike about men too. I had to tell a very persistent Aries guy straight out that I don’t fancy him at all but he was and still is convinced that I do and admits himself that he tries to convince me I want to date him. It’s exasperating. I try and treat him like I would treat a girlfriend but he doesn’t think men and women can be friends, so what to do?

  11. oh god, yes– there is a certain type of man (of whom there seems to be no shortage) that thinks everyone wants him. it doesn’t seem to matter what you say or do; he persists in his smug self-deception. I want to hit them with a large stick. repeatedly. but I don’t. they’d probably just think I was into s&m anyway.

  12. they’re all different.

    some of them are extremely predictable. they’re boring. maybe trying too hard to be a “guy” rather than be themselves. or too young to know better.

    but the rest of them…. well, really. people are all different. and there’s some fascinating characters in the world.

  13. jennifer–maybe it’s a moon issue?
    I have a 1st House moon and this used to be my #1 irritation. That and trying to convince them ‘seriously, I don’t want to be your bloody girlfriend, I just want some action! Bah!

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