I’m scared. Pretty sure I’ll do the hormone replacement therapy.
My mom had not gone through it yet by age 56, but had to have a hysterectomy due to fibroids and heavy bleeding. She had anemia. Her symptoms now are hot flashes, tiredness and forgetfulness, especially forgetfulness. It’s really strange to see my mom forgetting things. Especially as a Pisces with a Virgo mom… She was always the one who was on top of everything. I was the forgetful one. Kind of makes me sad. 😢
I don’t have fibroids, so wonder how long I will have 🤔
I’m 57, had my last period in 2013. Only in the last couple of years have I felt warmer than before. Every since I was a child, I was always cold. Cold hands, always needed a sweater. Now I’m more apt to be warmer.
I’ve had hot flashes a few times. I had them when I was on tamoxifen after breast cancer. I was 41. So I know what they feel like.
Otherwise, I didn’t have any bad effects from menopause. Maybe sweat a couple times at night. Some people say they get emotional, like they did with PMS, but I didn’t feel that.
My mother didn’t have much of an issue.
As far as fibroids, and this may not even be on topic, they found I had some (this was years ago) when I had an ultrasound taken up there. I don’t even remember why I had it. Maybe it was after my colposcopy. Anyway, I said, What? I have fibroids? How do I not know this? Is this bad?
They said it wasn’t bad and I probably had them always and it was NBD.
Well, alrighty then….
@allie120 fibroids are usually no big deal and benign, my mother had them for years without any major issues. She even had three kids. It was only in her 50s when she became anemic from them that they became a problem. I think too much estrogen causes them? I think without estrogen, you can’t have them. I could have them actually, or develop them, as they can be genetic. I haven’t had an ultrasound in about 10 years…
To clarify, Allie, I didn’t mean you specifically can’t have them. Meant people, humans may not get them without estrogen. All humans have estrogen though even after menopause so.. how much is too much, no idea 🤷♀️
@sirena-oceana Interesting. It just seemed like, Oh look, there are growths inside you, like aliens, but it’s totes cool 😂
Oh yes, everyone has all the hormones, just in different levels, and also at different levels at different ages. Such a delicate thing happening in our bodies. It’s truly a miracle.
I had one hot flash when I was 53 or 54, last period at 55. I've always been freezing, foggy, and somewhat emotional and still am. I attribute much of that to low thyroid which I've only been aware of for about 7 years and try to manage with diet and supplements. It had become troublesome and eventually noticeable during a few years of sedentary living and stress eating (carbs) which I tried to compensate for with lots of raw or al dente cruciferous veggies, both of which can suppress thyroid function. Now I cook my veggies to death and try to eat more protein and healthy fats, etc.
Progesterone can balance estrogen, which, if excessive, can contribute to risk of metabolic syndrome.
Once I became aware and researched, and made an effort to improve diet and choose the right supplements, plus sold the money pit house in frozen north and moved to a much healthier climate, which reduced stress, I soon felt like a new person. I still need to do better with activity and diet discipline!
I'm very undisciplined! I can't even imagine motivating myself to do a fraction of the fitness activities you do. Demanding physical work with less opportunity to eat junk was the only thing that worked for me. I have many chores and outdoor activities that could substitute partially, but I'm so addicted to reading that I ignore them most of the time. Ex -- right now -- here I am instead of finishing up a cleaning project I started last night. On that note, back to work!
Wow. This was over 10 years ago. I have lost a whole Uterus since then. Scary situation had I not known my body so well. Out of nowhere after years of no period. One came. And it stayed for a year. October 2019. There it was. It got increasingly worse every month.
I immediately thought the worst and went straight to the ER and had a CScan of everything from my boobs to hips. Found nothing. Had an internal ultrasound. Nothing. Had a Pap. Clear and always has been. Had an internal biopsy. Hurt like the devil from hell. Nothing. They tried to give me the meds for 10 days to clear it, but I refused to take them.
Time passed. It never stopped. Got worse and worse. And this was when we were trying to move. Got here out of state with no doctor. Worse and heavier. Went back home to see my doc. Another internal biopsy. Also, they do not give you anything for pain for this biopsy and it hurts. Test results. Nothing. Said I was fine. Really? I am hemorrhaging. And I want to sleep all the time. Take it out, now. Had to go back home for that too. Then after this fresh surgery travel back here 800 miles in the car. Please try to imagine that. Dear God. (I think Saturn was squaring my sun)
One month later go back to the doctor back home again. He now has the labs. Said if I hadn't thrown a fit to have the surgery, I probably would have had full blown endometrial cancer in 6 months. You tell them, they don't hear you. I said... there is something wrong with me. Get it out. It took them a year.
You know your body. Fight them back when they tell you there is nothing wrong. You know better.
From start to finish it was October 2019. Removal November 2020. I pressed on them hard. I didn't give up. Some people take what the doctor says, and many are misdiagnosed. Or something is missed. Don't be that person. You are never supposed to have a period that late in life. Never. Ever.
The operation is a bigger deal than they say. It's a bigger deal than some women say it is. It hurts like hell after. Hard to walk, hard to go to the bathroom. Hard to sit in some positions. Hard to get out of bed on a fresh surgery. Your uterus is an organ. And upon its removal the things around it inside your body shift. And yes, you can feel and tell it's gone.
The biggest change is in how you go to the bathroom. First there is the constipation and of course no one wants to push with all those stitches (or after a fresh surgery) then, it's just different until your body adjusts... almost feels like your intestines have to shift into another place. Many people complain of back pain after. And back pain that persists. I would be one of them.
I come to the conclusion that I will never be the same since that surgery. And while I say this, I have never been so happy to get anything out of my body as I am to be rid of my Uterus. That thing did me no favors. It failed me my whole life. It didn't want to carry babies. It did a poor job when it did twice. When I think back on life choices today, I don't feel the same way as I did in 2013. I would never have had children. I would have definitely done whatever necessary to make sure took care of it so I could not. Had a Tubal Ligation at 25. I had to. I would have done it after high school if I had known then what I know now. No, I am not in a mood. Just matter of fact. Yes, transits do change who you are. And look how the world has changed in 10 years. I never would have put kids on this planet on purpose knowing what I know now. Part of it is that. Another part is the love too deep, hurts too bad thing water signs go through. My 4th house/Cancer rising said you were born to be a mother. My body said.... watch this. Looking back at what I have been through. Not just the C-sections the miscarriages the weird periods, the race to do everything right as a parent... I can tell you that there is as much pain as there is joy. Sometimes, more. And I know there are women that say the same thing. They've said it to me. We go through so much. At times you wonder, was it worth it?
Not to out my girls, but the middle one started, here. She was hysterical. Poor sweet little Sag. Scared her to death. I pulled her in and loved on her and told her that she was fine, then bought her all the things a girl needs. Talked long. Explained everything. She has Cancer rising and a Taurus moon too. She said... I don't like this, big ole tears running down her gorgeous face. I said, I know baby. I know... now all three of my littles are going through it. The circle of life, you know. They just went home. That one came back an extra time before she went out the door and hugged me so tight. She said thank you ... I knew what she meant.
@elsa Poor baby was so embarrassed and scared. I tore my son and DIL a new arse when she left. I said can't you people prepare her for things like this. She was hysterical. It scared her to death. They said we had all the things and were waiting; we probably should have talked to her. 🙄 We think of her as our baby, (she will be 13 in Dec) and we hate discussing grown up things with her. (She is their only child) I said to DIL, you are a Virgo stellium, you know better. Of course, you prepared. But you have to prepare her too. OMG... it was at that moment I felt like I needed to go back home and help those kids but, but I know better. As hard as it is I know in my heart it is time for me to be out of the way.
In a way I am glad she was here so I could tell her what she needed to know. The youngest grand went through this a year ago, oldest when she was 9. She had all girls and a woman around her talking her down. The grands were great. They went in the other room and told them about their experience. Three girls entering womanhood together. Like a little group huddle. One woman leaving it all behind, telling the tales of many years of dealing with it all.
I just hope she knows how much I love her. I hope I hugged her tight enough. I hope I showed her what she needed in the moment. I hope the embarrassment disappeared fast. I would do anything for that sweet sunny Sag.
I always wanted a girl. I got boys. As it should be. The boys made me rough though. Constantly screaming get off that, get down, wash your damn hands, what in the name of God are you doing, that is going to need stitches, well that is broken, you'll need a cast. Do you know you've set that on fire, what were you thinking... etc. Years of it. Had sisters. Had no clue what these people (boys) were doing. All I know is I said the F word a lot. I really had to shift gears with the girls. Softer talk, softer explanations. But I still say boys are easier. Feed them. Feed them well. This is truly 75% of it. They have no desire to hear about your emotions LOL (of course I had air signs with too much Gemini so that could be part of it HA)
@soup This reminds me of the legacy in my family. According to my mother, no one told my grandmother anything (this would have been maybe 1918 or so?). She was wearing some pretty clothes for church and suddenly blood was streaming down her stockings. That must have been horrifying.
She told this story to my mom and say she never wanted her to be unprepared so one day out of the blue she plopped my mom down and told her she needed to speak to her. My mom said she was terrified…And my grandmother laid it all on the line.
Then me: my mom was so appalled at how her mother told her that she said she would never do that to me. She told me…not much but said I could go to her whenever I had questions. She gave me a book from the 1960’s to read that had very vague language. And I learned the rest in school. How am I going to ask questions if I don’t know what the questions should be? My Virgo moon saw my mother as very critical at times.
No young girl should ever not know what her body will be doing. And a young girl’s/woman’s relationship with her body should be cultivated in an intellectual, intuitive, scientific way. Meaning, things do happen, chemically hormonally; the effects of foods and drugs, exercise, stress, matter; tracking your mind and body are important in getting to know it.
I’m so glad you were there, @soup, to help her.
@allie120 I agree with you. We all remember when things started to change in our bodies. We all remember the first time and how confusing and strange it was. Some of us had mood swings or maybe not. Some had sore tender parts and visual changes. You are this kid which seems like eternity because time goes by so much slower when you are young. Then this happens. It never occurs to you that things are going to change.
My youngest grand responded like me ... she was mad. She was really mad. I was too. She was embarrassed too, but mostly mad. She said she was just refusing to do it lol... like she thought she could will it away. That is the little Virgo moon and rising. But then she got herself together and started planning haha so Virgo. This was a total interruption for her. How dare her body interrupt her itinerary!
I could not keep a straight face, had to go into another room because I would never ever laugh but see... that Virgo was plotting and planning with a white board and a power point display haha how she was going to deal with it. I mean, you can see these energies play out and it is solid gold. She keeps a journal. Now... if this isn't a baby Virgo, I don't know what is.
Also, she reads everything. Do you know this kid went through my fridge and my pantry checking expiration dates on the food? I have never laughed inside so hard in my life. I found things in the trash, and I said who threw this away? She said I did... if you guys don't watch your expiration dates you are going to die from food poisoning. She is 12! LOL I thanked her and then went in the other room and laughed like a hyena so hard... Virgo going through organizing everything we own while she is supposed to be on vacation LOL (you know I just let her do it. She was saving our lives 🤣 (so Virgo) LOL omg I love that about her! She was helping me! These people start helping when they are born)
Sure is quiet since they left. My pantry looks like a team from 'House cleaners' went through it haha and it's just he and I again... until next time. I hope when she comes back, I am as organized as she expects lol
I sure miss those three little dollies. But they don't need me hovering over them like I used to. If I were home, I am sure I would stunt their future growth. I am a helicopter, and I don't lie about it. I would get up and do the things they need to be doing themselves. My grandma told me a lady always knows when it's time to leave a room.
@soup OMG I love that so much! She is a treasure! I love when you tell stories about her because I can RELATE 🤣. My Virgo moon can find absolute comfort in doing the stuff your grand did. It’s like 🤩 Isn’t the world so much better and cleaner and safer and shinier now ✨
🤣🤣🤣😂😂🤣
And I’ll share something, the first time I got my period, I was so annoyed, too. I couldn’t just go to the bathroom and be done with it in two seconds. No, you mean I have to do this forever….! Go in, fiddle around with all the extra stuff and clean the mess and blah blah blah. THIS IS SO STUPID.
My mom: 😬🤷🏻♀️ “Not FOREVER.”
It’s sort of a blessing it happened there because you were able to really be there in a special way.
@allie120 can you picture her going through the pantry and every expiration date? OMG... I am telling you when I saw it, I had to walk in the other room and shut the door because it was truly the funniest Virgo thing, I have seen her do so far. Apparently, she did not like the way I had things in the fridge either. I will laugh about this forever. AND... she went home and told her parents. They did a group text thingy, and they were on the floor. They said, I see she went through your expiration dates hahaha little Virgo taking care of business and saving her grandparents lives. Oh God, so damn cute and so funny. You can pick them out of the crowd. You want to get things accomplished; you better find the Virgo, so it's done right. What kid cares about the cans being all in a row so you can see them properly or what the expiration date is? A Virgo kid, that is who. I thought of you when I was laughing uncontrollably. 🤣 Same with her... what an inconvenience it is to have period when there is so much to do 🤣
@soup 😂🤣😂🤣 We truly need them. I love how this makes us need all types. It is really funny though. She could probably do our taxes, too 😂🤣
@allie120 and they have to tell the truth. This is 'their' truth. That looks like shit on you hahahahaha
I had to submit a photo of myself to a thing before we moved. I went through the ones I had. The girls were at my house when I was doing this. I picked one. I showed them all and the other two said, good choice.
That one said... that doesn't even look like you anymore. hahahahahahhaha like I had aged 20 years since that photo was taken (it was taken about 6 months earlier) but she was letting me know that I no longer look like that. Not mean. Just matter of fact hahahahaha.... I could imagine her thinking ... you are aging at the speed of light, go put on some make up. 🤣 🤣 🤣 And while you are at it make better choices. OMG.. I am dead laughing just thinking about it. Proof we need every sign in our lives.
Isn't it amazing, after having only boys, the turn of the wheel brings these precious girls into your life. It probably is not an accident. It is perfection of the divine sort l think.
Having read many of your stories through the years, ( thank you ) It makes me think of how foundational and deep the relationship with your own grandmother was for you. She would smile knowing that you continue to do with love what she did always. I am glad you were there for your granddaughter at such a critical juncture in her life. That is really big. It is good work you are doing.
I have a Cancer Sun, so, you know, these are things that matter to me. What do we have in this world if someone isn't building strong healthy family. I am seeing all you do and recognizing how much you exemplify the positive Cancer traits. It is only fitting, because we are now in Cancer season. It's the season of water but the water closest to home, the water of the well. It is life sustaining.
OK then, I'll go back to my shell and exit here sideways lol.
@ln I remember when they said, it's a boy. I grew up taking care of my sisters. All girls around me. My dad was absent, and my stepdad worked all the time. My grandmother was the main character in my life. While I was thrilled to have him and didn't care if he was a chimpanzee... just give me my baby... I remember thinking... oh no. How will I do this? What do I have to offer a boy?
A Libra. (Those darn Libra's come out gorgeous, don't they?) A Libra Sun Gemini Rising? (Grateful for his Pisces moon) He was my only child for almost 7 years, and I was never so happy to have anything in my life. Even though I was so young, I figured it out. Once I got knee deep in it like any mom you don't even think about them being a boy or a girl. They are just your baby. And your life. Still, I was faced with so many things I did not understand. Boy things. It was challenging. I always worried I was going to miss something or do it wrong. And they were tough. Nothing like raising girls. They gave me all of it 🤣 there was no mood swings or crying. Those two were too busy climbing on things, always starving to death, mud and dirt and smells I did not recognize 🤣
My grandmother was still alive when he was born. She was so proud. She just wanted to sit and hold him, and I let her. She talked me through so much. She was my guardian, savior... not on paper... but in every sense of those words.
I think about her when I try to navigate being a grandmother. How patient she was. Everything was a lesson. She wanted to make sure she didn't leave anything out. She didn't leave here without me knowing how to take care of myself and the people I love. She told me family came first and she lived by that rule.
She was such a comfort to me when I went through puberty. I was thinking about puberty and how much it resembles menopause. One is just opposite the other. But pretty much the same.