It's interesting how often we see people whose natal planets 'trigger' our hard aspects, sit on one end of our squares or oppositions. It's like we attract them because on some level we feel they will allow us to live out this aspect and learn from it.
I have a very tight square of Mars and Saturn, and damn if I don't consistently attract someone whose inner planet sits right on my Saturn (sometimes Mars, but more so the Saturn.. I think that's the part of the square I 'own' less, it's usually the outer planet we reject and experience as the outside forces impacting us). But with a person who is on my Saturn, I inevitably see them as blocking me in some way, challenging to my will and tension and discomfort arise which force me to go back and do my inner work on my own Mars/Saturn to learn to compromise my will and let go of control.
A person may need to attract this experience/aspect because it's their evolutionary purpose to live it out and learn from it. But a synastry with mostly squares and oppositions will be too difficult to live with day in and day out, you need harmonious aspects too if you want to be able to tolerate someone long-term.
Surprised no one mentioned 8th house synastry. 4th house synastry as well. But 8th house is intense I think Pluto aspects as well.
I love using Nodes, Asteroids and Sun/Moon Mid Points. But they are pointless in synastry if there are no personal planets, angles aspects or house overlays etc. to start with.
For me, Nodes, Asteroids and Mid-Points help tell the story …. subtleties driving the relationship or romance.
Also, Orbs are very important with Asteroids, mid points etc. because their energy is not as strong as planets. I use only hard aspects 0-2ish degree orbs and only if there’s an existing tight aspect in one of the natal charts.
For example:
Named Asteroids – can show how each person sees the other. If aspecting a natal pattern then can be a trigger or takes away from or gives something to or that completes the other
Asteroid Eros aspecting Mars and/or Pluto – in synastry is one of my favorite. Eros (raw lust) with Mars (sexy) and Pluto (deep passion). Hot!
Sun/Moon Mid Points – are extremely sensitive. I liken them to the closet feeling of bliss or euphoria when activated. A partner’s planets or angles aspecting can bind, especially with double whammies that ensure each sun/moon person feels the bliss. One sided aspect can be an indicator of unrequited love when considered with what the rest of the chart is saying…
Vertex to personal planets – fated.
Lilith – to me in a natal chart represents how a person taps into their primal instincts, your deep unbashful needs. So in synastry it would be how you tap into these needs through the other e.g Lilith in a partner’s 8th H, then the Lilith person’s needs are fulfilled through merging, passionate sex. But if a strong Lilith is not present in one of the natal charts i.e. hard aspect to personal planets at 0-1 degree, then Lilith might be just a misnomer in synastry.
Nodes – to personal planets only. South = past life connection, can feel like you were always in a relationship, it never began because it always just was. North = you have a destined future together, the other person is bringing something that will enhance your future, can feel inevitable, like the other person holds the key to your future.
In the significant relationships and friendships I've had there has been personal planets conjuncting North Node.
https://cafeastrology.com/synastry-2.html
I find this interesting. Maybe others will too.
I've met someone recently and I'm pulling for some of these to do their magic:
- My Venus square her Pluto
- My Venus trine her Mars (tight), her Venus trine my Mars (loose)
- My Venus trine her Uranus
- My Moon and Pluto conjunct her Eros (Moon exact to the minute), my Eros conjunct her Descendant
- My Lilith trine her Mars, her Lilith trine my Mars
- Her Saturn conjunct my Descendant (exact to the minute)
- Her Jupiter conjunct my Sun/Moon midpoint
- Her Venus opposite my Venus/Mars midpoint
- Her Mercury trine my Mercury