Welcome, Annette!

Thank you!

My eye was drawn straight to Jupiter in Aquarius. I've been thinking about this placement recently as in my year group at school kids either had Jupiter in Aquarius or Pisces (me being a Jup in Pisces). I think this placement can draw social factors into the person's life and personality in a really strong way, and by that I mean, it can create a stronger internal imprint regarding the influence of social and cultural conditioning, starting with family. This made me think that the problem you are describing has a social factor. If you were to become abundant how would that sit with the mores/values of the prevailing group you grew up in and identified with? Do you do things because you feel you "should". 

Then looking further, Jupiter is conjunct Saturn who sits at the very end of Capricorn, so here there is a contraction expansion dynamic between Jupiter (expand) and Saturn (maintain form). Any expansion through Jupiter is not only triggering the group identification of Aqua but also can cause anxiety with an authority figure or prevailing system, can be internalised one. Perhaps consider figures such as father, what was his situation with abundance, what were his systems or rules and how did these affect you? Note, this is where transit Pluto is rolling about at present, this conjunction on your midheaven. 

Then I notice, these 2 play into a Tsquare with Mars in Cancer opposing, and then squaring your Sun, Venus, Mercury. With Cancer there can be guilt issues. As you mentioned, the 12th h planets, it's harder to express these, they are shrouded away, they need projecting consciously over into your 6th house Libra. Libra 6th h is the "empty leg" of the conflictual Tsquare. Do you know any Libras? If so how do you find they help balance out that Tsquare energetically, because you could try to emulate that energy. Libra in 6th is quite social and also interested in aesthetics, balance, beauty in day to day life, also fairness, and justice, relationships and relating on a daily basis are key. 

So overall I felt that you could look into your wider social identifications and family history, to question if becoming abundant would act in conflict with things you were taught, ways of behaving or family traditions or patterns. You need to identify these patterns and break them despite any anxiety when trespassing into new territory. And something about Libra in the 6th, the traditional Virgo house can help with this process. 

Thank you so much for your extensive reply, Sophia. Intersting that you mention  Jupiter. Jupiter was never ever on my radar.  I grew up Saturnian in a multigenerational farm family. We were quite well off financially compared to theother families in the surroundings, but not "rich". I would say, Saturn was being represented by a domineering narcisstic grandmother, she had the part of the patriarch of the family. For her money and being well off was quite important, climbiing the social ladder, also money was used by her to try and manipulate, and I am strongly allergic agianst being manipulated. I have looked a lot into my family (not for the finances though, that topic comes up new for me, I always used to have more thatn I needed, I do not need that much), but now that I want to make a break for freedom and leave the place where I live (currently in Scotland), this topic of finances is the biggest obstacle to that. I have a strong work ethic, and "working hard" was drummed into us. I am teaching myself to relax and rest, it is getting easier, but still often makes me feel guilty and lazy when I do.

Libra, I have no contact to Libras/Librans as far as I know, but the Libra topics I do have in my day to day life, they are quite important to me.
Expressing myself fully, standing up for my convictions, speaking up and setting boundaries is more where I struggle.

Hi i see you have alot of 12th house planets including personal planets. I have moon and venus there,  and i can honestly say the best versions of yourself is away from your homeland.  You dont have to move away from the country where you live but far away is a good idea. I dont know why this is, and i even didnt like moving so far away but my sagittarius parts were very happy i could do it since it was an adventure for me.   Plus this was even before i knew anything about astrology, and i already moved. It was depressing for me to be away from people i grew up with and leave good friendships too but it was for the very best. I healed alot. Maybe it was a kind of therapy to be away from the toxicness that engulfs pisces/12th house, because neptune absorbs everything and takes everything in, and there's no escape. I would agree too that it would help if you had some libra/libran placements from those you meet and they'd help you. I have a venusian flavour about me, which is why i always attracted very strong Mars/Pluto opposite sex.

Being lazy, is quite venusian too, lol  but i find venus finds work that makes them happy and time to be lazy too. As for retrograde, i dont know much about it, but If you know someone who could help you at your work, or somehow get into a program to travel far, or maybe going to a workplace in a different city it'll help you. Good luck!