Thanks for the hug LibraNoir. I loved my mother too but she used that love against me and took a great deal of pleasure in harming me. I am not afraid to say I'm glad she's dead.
You can't hate without having once loved. But I don't believe forgiveness is always necessary. As my friend who was also abused says "You need your anger and you need to keep your anger." Works for me. Other people have to do what works best for them.
((((Libra Noir))))) I am sorry for the pain you experienced iwith your mother as well. The friend who told me "You need your anger and you need to keep your anger" is a Scorpio. I felt myself come alive when I heard those words.
ScottishFoldSoul said
You can't hate without having once loved. But I don't believe forgiveness is always necessary. As my friend who was also abused says "You need your anger and you need to keep your anger." Works for me. Other people have to do what works best for them.
Absolutely. You get no judgement from me. Only compassion.
ScottishFoldSoul- I'm sorry you had this experience with your mother. 🙁
LibraNoir- You are definitely right. I try to let my son express his feelings and give him space. I am an Aqua moon after all. He's a really tough cookie. He has Sun conjunct Mars exact in the 10th. So I feel he really resents me (authority) He wants to do whatever he wants to do. This is hard as a parent. But I just want him to love me. I am his mom and I do so much for him and never stop wanting the best for him and it feels it all goes unnoticed. I know I am very flawed as a mother but I try my absolute best. I have an Aries rising so I am kind of tough too but only because I love him and want the best for him.
Every day I work on trying to be a better mom and hope that my son loves me back. I would hate for him to feel hate towards me.
Great! I of course just started crying typing this. Ugh!
Thanks to the rest of you for your replies. 
Ema said
I love my mom, she's my best friend, we talk every day. I have Scorpio Moon 1st house, conjunct AC. my sister also has same Moon and aspect and same love.Mom is Aqua Sun, Pisces Moon. She was always great mom, just as she got older she became more mellow and warmer. She was more nervous or tense when I was a kid.
My Mom is an Aqua Sun, Pisces Moon, too.
I am intense for my Mom. I've got a lot of Scorpio (Moon, Pluto, Saturn in the 4th) and Leo (ASC, Venus). Our emotional worlds are wildly different. My Moon is conjunct Saturn and in a lot of ways, I think this helps me from being even more explosive and dramatic than I could be. Surface relationships are easier for me but my more intimate relationships are not. I am the first to admit, I'm not easy to be in a relationship with. I have to, constantly, work on not falling into the darker emotions of fear, jealousy and paranoia. There is absolutely something within me that wants to destroy the love and security that I crave so much. The more that I learn that this is an internal battle the less I expect from others. In the past it was especially easy for me to project onto My Mom, my family, my relationships... all the darker emotions that I felt within. I tend to think these are things I've inherited not necessarily from my Mom but from past generations or even past lives. I could never put everything onto her... because she too came from somewhere. I'm not sure where all of the turmoil came from and I don't know that I will ever know. I see the darkness as my responsibility to transform into light, love, compassion and understanding. Love and stability, from my perspective, is an inside job. The inner emotional world of a Scorpio Moon is not an easy one. There are many days, especially while we are young..... we're just not going to be light or sunny or sociable or airy.
Have you looked at your synastry chart? Sometimes looking into different aspects helps me to see more clearly the energy at play, to disconnect and work towards the positive expressions.
My advice is just be the best Mom you can be and know in your heart that you are doing your best and find comfort and boundaries in that. I worry about my daughter too, for other reasons, because she's a Cap Moon square Saturn in the 4th.
I have a friend who is a Pisces Sun and Scorpio Moon and she has a very loving relationship with her Mom. She's got great boundaries, insight, compassion and depth.