Saturn return, saturn conjunct sun, pretty much anything with saturn involved tosses my salad. I don't want to say too much bad about it because it's the planet of karma and it's already effed me hard enough, but I seriously can't wait for saturn to leave libra.

I used to be such a happy optimistic person, but lately I feel like all the life has been sucked out of me. I have been envying people who get to die while I'm stuck here on this wretched planet still alive. I don't plan to commit suicide because I know that's wrong, but I sure have been wishing lately I could die of natural causes. Feels like things will never get better they have been bad for so long. Hope that's not true. I look forward to each day ending as that means I'm one day closer to death.

The Chiron/Neptune conjunction directly on my Sun/Jupiter sq. Saturn/Mars on the IC. Fairly decent Pluto transits. More of an easy way out than a final exit.

Suicidal thoughts have been a reoccuring struggle since I was 12.

Venus Squared has summed up myself entirely. i am currently going through my Saturn return and just wish it would end. Whenever i hear someone has died I'm jealous. I have been stockpiling medication and keep saying to myself if my life does not improve by such and such a date I will do it. An ex boyfriend killed himself some years ago and I have just come to realise he was going through his Saturn return at the time.

I've been through this a couple of times, but it's always stress-related. When my maternal grandmother died, when I was going through my divorce... It's been a recurring thought lately because I'm so damned STUCK. I can feel myself getting smaller, dimmer, day by day by day. Walls closing in. *sighs*

So, yeah... *shrugs* I don't know the transits. Don't really care to check, either.

Pluto was in my 12th House during most of that period. However, I had depression for so long, I think it was more of a natural inclination than transit related.