Wow Elsa, that is harsh. Especially on top of dealing with the other harsher thing. Damn,

I hope it is ok to be a typical Sag here and to see the "bright side" even though it sounds crazy. It is just that I have had a lot of 12th house stuff lately and more to come, so I have spent time to think about mortality. Anyway: we all die, most don't look forward to it. A quick death is a good death IMO, far better than a lingering, wasting one. 

I truly believe that a quick death is a karmic reward, a gift. Less suffering at the end, for those who maybe have suffered enough already?

All that to say, is not to minimize how shocking it must be to have to face it. I send you all good wishes for strength, and hope that maybe there will be an unexpected  resurrection  some innovative plan of the neurosurgeon (a true  occupation, isn't it?) Anyway 

(((Elsa)))

I agree with Vajra, a quick death is what I hope for!  But not quite yet, for you or me!  Actually, if all it took was the Pluto/Uranus square, Pluto has just moved off my ASC to my NN, and Uranus is now one degree past my Sun -- but I'm not dead! 

Did they call your condition ankylosing spondylitis?  I have a friend with that -- increasing fusion since childhood, not diagnosed until age 32, now in her 60's.  She was told the same, that a sudden jarring could kill her, but she has survived several car accidents.  Immediate MRI or CAT scan afterwards and brace for weeks, but recovery. 

There's a brilliant doctor here in FL with miraculous results for back/neck, who will respond to questions online or phone -- or on his Sunday radio show.  You can find him at www.stagesoflife.net.

You're always in our prayers -- thousands and thousands of prayers will keep you safe!

Vajra, please know, I understand what you wrote - and I believe your intentions are good - and I strongly disagree with... the words you wrote.

Please know, I believe you wrote from your heart.  That's why I say, "words you wrote".  My experience (I'm going to have my second Saturn return before too long - aka, I'm *old*.) is this: there are certain moments in life when "live or die"  is a stutterstep business.  Nothing philosophical in it, only rubber meets the road, nuts and bolts, real life in the living.  I don't in ANY way mean to single you out - truly, not one bit even!  - for saying what is current parlance.   I simply, plainly, want to say to you - in case that gives you pause for consideration - imo, that common platitude is full of... that-which-is-a-valuable-addition-to-gardens, if it's been allowed to ripen and dry (manure).

You, you wrote from your heart - always a good thing.  You've taken some unripened manure (my opinion!! Could be wrong!!!) that maybe flew under the radar of your discernment (Mercury).  But!  Maybe not!  Maybe, you and I have very different views - in which case, "peace between us, I hope".

My view is, anyone alive, I hope we each and all live our lives to the fullest, at every step of the way.  Even, when the last steps come, whenever that will be - which.no.one.anywhere. no.way can predict.  This I know, because, I'm old, and, I would have noticed, if otherwise.

Peace, wholehearted wish  to you.

For what it's worth.  I can't  play cards for *rude words*.  But, I had insight, shortly before someone I loved, died - insight for him.  But, for me, too (even though I can only play  cards with preachoolers, e.g. Go Fish).

When the moment comes, in which  we might die, it'll be simular to a poker or pinochle game - whatever our hand of cards, we'll  have some say... and unlike a cardgame, deciding to keep playing counts most of all.  Likewise, deciding to fold (whyever) will play in our favor, IF  we are wholehearted about it, after ripened reflection.  This probably makes little sense.  My analogy is skewed, by me, and, it's my odd thoughts.  Others' thoughts, and exoeriences, no doubt differ.

I could feel Vajra's positive energy over my laptop. Perhaps he/she got a little carried away, at lost for words? Shocked?

As a Catholic, I'm "permitted" to ask anyone already in heaven, that we join our prayers (called communion of saints - we're supposed to be striving toward saintliness, even those of us who won't get elected to sainthood, for no-one-cares-why - truly true) with theirs, for the wellbeing of who we're praying for.  Anyone can join that prayer - the Holy Spirit is the only gatekeeper (so, if you were excluded, your prayer was off topic, and the referee was divine agency, period).

Roundabout way of saying, prayer (not meditation, that's a different action verb, and different, in action) is a real thing to do, which anyone can  do, no matter feeling confident or timid - no difference there.  No matter years of practice, or first time beginner - zero.

I'm praying for Elsa, off and on, brief moments at a time.  That's how prayer (Catholic way) usually best goes.  We *don't* have to pray at the same instant, to join (multiply) our prayers - only, to include in the prayer, "... along with everyone else also praying for the best possible, for Elsa".  Easy peasy, see? 

Disclaimer: I have to specify.  I am not a theologian.  Nor do I speak for every Catholic, much less the Church I belong to (as an ordinary person, anybody).  These ideas are simply mine - I could be wrong, I am often enough - and I  do think that God - creator of everyrhing we know also us - aka "the universe" hears All prayers.  Hears, loves, understands... loves us, for real, and wishes us - all of us - extreme wellbeing, now, and ultimately (we're free to put brakes on that, whenever we see fit, for any reason, and, that's ok).  IMO!!