No update so far but I think I’m starting to lose my mind. Generally, I’m a strong person and I’ve been handling this situation from a calm and loving space inside me. But there are moments when I’m overwhelmed by sadness and pain… and I feel like I’m just prolonging my agony waiting by his side to have a change of mind/ heart and that he never will or maybe he will but after a very long time. It’s already been many weeks and this might take months. Sometimes I’m not sure I can stay in this painful uncertainty state for too long…
I have Pluto in Libra in the 1st house. I’m very driven to make this relationship work (I have the determination and the fire) but I’m afraid I won’t be able if he will be just a small percentage willing to... As I know him, he will not say “Let’s try it” unless this will be stronger than the wish to break up. He’s always been frank about what he feels.
Also, I’m used to dealing with intense emotions and pain, but at times I wonder why I would let myself stay in this painful place (and until when will this last?) when I’ve been already struggling so much in the previous years with anxiety and depression. Why wouldn’t I be kind to myself and distance myself from the situation and leave? - I wonder at times. If he were to want to be with me, he might have time alone to realize if this is in the end what he wants. As painful as this would be, I sometimes think maybe it would be better to move to another place and not be living together anymore.
He has Venus, Moon, and Mercury in Libra. He seems to have difficulty deciding to stay with me or break up. Although some weeks ago he told me he wanted to break up, his behavior at times is suggesting something else. Plus, he wants to make love to me.
I can’t seem to understand why he loves me and wants me but he can’t change his mind/ heart. Does he truly love me if he has been doubting for so long about us? I don’t know what to think and I don’t understand this prolongation anymore…
I wonder would a Scorpio perceive betrayal if I were leaving his side, leaving him alone, and telling him if he changes his mind to tell me?
@calliope Astrologically, with the Moon having entered Taurus, the level of frustration associated with stuck, resistant or seemingly unmoving situations is amplified. Fixed energy. Should ease a bit when moon enters Gemini.
Eyes have to be on the Mars Uranus conjunction very slowly building. I think just note the pressure, but not necessarily need to do anything. To be honest, my sense is that the pressure is more on the masculine with Mars involved, and this pressure is being felt empathically by the feminine, Venus (in Cancer), but the feminine shouldn't get confused and take responsibility for it by acting out the others emotions via projection.
@sophiab Thank you so much ❤️ I have carried your thoughts with me these days even if my reply here comes with a bit of delay. I appreciate very much you wrote me this, I have found consolation in what you said and something inside feels more soothed now. I have cried a lot these days too, maybe also for the need to release tension as I'm a person of quite intense emotions.
@calliope The things we go through are both personal but also shared, so I'm glad what I wrote could help and bring some comfort. This is why I love forums 
Man am I about to open my big damn mouth and probably piss people off in here. Oh, it's even going to be long and hideous again but I need you to see something @Calliope. I always pull up for my Scorpio homies, but I have to tell you the truth, and the truth is that there are some rotten ones.
So here is a story of how I pissed off a negative, underdeveloped, "bad" Scorpio: my dear brother. He has a Scorpio moon, a pretty close Sun-Pluto opposition, and Mars in Libra in the 8th. While shit was getting really hairy with my abuser and his ilk, my brother was allegedly being persecuted by one of his coworkers. He never told me any of it was going on.
He fell in with a bad crowd in his late teens and they rubbed off on him in all the worst ways. One night he started popping off at me about how sick he was of women only wanting to have sex with "bad boys" and then they only want to settle down with someone decent when they're old and well worn out, and how he couldn't get a girlfriend because he was a "nice guy," vile, TRULY misogynistic horseshit. So I put him down for it. You don't get to spew that hateful shit around me, after all the rape and harassment and cheating and bondage and oppression I've both endured and witnessed my fellow women go through. Absolutely fucking not. And even though I've only known a handful of good men, I still don't talk about them that way!
He got quieter after that. We'd send some memes back and forth. I didn't know anything was up. But a few months later I offered to pay him to help me clean out a property my abuser dumped in my lap. He went off on me, about how I was cruel and abandoned him in his worst moment, about how I was a horrible person for dropping "truth bombs" and then giving people the cold shoulder, which is not true - he's always been the one to give me the cold shoulder and then cry to our parents when I didn't take the bait and beg for attention! In that final "conversation," he'd waffle back and forth between telling me not to talk to him and then demanding I say this or that. He'd say I was a know-it-all and "I already know you're going to put words in my mouth" about something that was a mere inch higher inside the very rant he'd just sent me. He was switching between direct texts and different messaging services, acting absolutely insane. Then he demanded an apology, I gave what I could but he said he didn't want me in his life anyway. I'm not one to beg. But I cried all the way home from work, a full four mile walk. I was never closer to anyone than him and I felt like I failed so badly.
So I did apologize and truly regret not supporting him when he was in a tough spot, but also, how could I have known when he didn't even tell me?!? Seriously, what was I supposed to do, be a mind reader? Now that some time has gone by, I can clearly see what offended him, but there was no way I could have done anything differently with my conscience and with the negligible information I was given about what he needed. I Did Not Actually Do Anything That Bad.
I hurt his feelings because I am flawed and his expectations of me were jacked, and he is angry, immature and manipulative. That's the worst of Scorpios in a nutshell. I never talk about this with anyone. I probably won't ever again. I made you look at all of it because I think you're dealing with a somewhat similar kind of person.
I admit I know nothing about what you said that day, but I can tell your boyfriend is manipulating you. I'm not saying he's a bad person, but that's what he's doing, probably unconsciously, by keeping you hanging on a string like this. You're giving me strong vibes that you have been manipulated, with how lowly you seem to feel about yourself, because of what? An argument, like normal people have and move past? That even the Scorpios in here survived? Hell, I have 8th house junk and I managed to suck it up when one of my friends called me the Psycho Bitch From Hell, in earnest. We were at each others' throats and I laughed in his face and said I'd get that tattooed on me! I'm not friends with his psycho ass anymore but that fight is not why!
Then I saw where you said he still wants to have sex! I AM PISSED. Oh my GOD. How dare he ask for that while he lets you die from guilt and loss and lack of love! How DARE he try to get what he needs from you while giving you nothing in return! If you want to still hook up then I can't stop you. But it just smacks of him stringing you along and letting you be in pain, so he can get some and know that you need him.
And I get that me and my Gemini and being Gen Z all like to be a lot less weighed down, or maybe I'm just an idiot when it comes to relationships. Idk. But I went through this whole thread and that was the straw and I cannot shake the feeling that he's feeding on the emotional gore of this. I'm sorry if I have it wrong, or if I hurt your feelings, and maybe I'll regret this in the morning. But I can't unsee it.
I am 1000% on board with you giving this guy his distance. Move out and meet yourself. You did your part and apologized plenty but he's still lapping up the drama and emotion. I wasn't born yesterday, I know people need to process. He also needs to decide if he really loves you and wants the whole of you, good and bad. If he does then he needs to start acting like it. Same as my brother. I did my part. He needs to be the one to decide he wants me around someday. It's as simple as that and there's no wrong answer. I know that might scare you because it seems like something makes you feel unloveable or undesirable. It might be him! And seriously, don't give in to him pestering you for sex while he can't even say you're fully together. Scorpio or not. I just can't even. He knows better if he has Virgo and Libra.
@rusalka She didn't say he was bugging her for sex, or demanding sex from her. He told her there was no future. He has not changed his mind. She claims she hurt him badly. She said things she shouldn't have said.
The thread is about Scorpio forgiving after this.
Everyone has tried to talk to her.
I don't know what she said to him exactly. But evidently if caused him a lot of pain. She is trying to course correct her mistake. She claims he didn't do it. I could have come here as a Scorpio (not a Scorpio moon) and said he will not forgive it because Scorpio usually DO NOT. EVER. Not when they are hurt as badly as she claims. She is living there according to her because she loves the dude and does not want to move.
This is why an Air sun and Scorpio sun have no business being together whatsoever under any circumstance. I raised two of them. I would give them my eyesight and a kidney, but they do not know when too much is too much, and they blurt shit they can never take back...
I forgive mine because they are my kids. A man? Romantic partner? No second chance to read me to filth.
She said they MAKE LOVE. This right here is how things get misinterpreted and young men are said to do things they did not do. She said they make love. She loves him. And she wants to make up for what happened. According to her, she is sorry for what happened and loves the dude.
So, the rant on Scorpio happens again. When Scorpio didn't start it to begin with. According to the OP.
Now we are heading into the consequences part. Where someone gets accused of something they didn't do because they are not behaving the way the other someone wants them to when they said they are done. Canceled is what Z calls it these days. Cancelation does not bother Scorpio. In fact, we hope to be.
Here is the sensible thing. Move out immediately. End of problem. He is done, she is hanging on and it hurts. If it hurts, move on. One big hurt is easier to get over than a tiny bunch of Virgo paper cuts till the end of time. Scorpio Sun, Virgo rising is not forgetting that anytime soon.
For what it's worth. I think the Sun sign rules regardless of what else is going on in a birth chart. Regardless of what people think works in synastry. Why? Because I have lived a very long time. And lost at love. Me trying to marry an air sign would be a recipe for a national disaster. They fucking hurt my feelings and I usually never speak to them again. They cannot stand that part and keep talking. Usually making it worse. Passive aggressive talking, writing, round the world communicating. For me it has been on purpose. Because I have been loving and I swear to all mighty God I hold back until I just cannot take another moment of it.
I raised a Libra with a Gemini rising. And a Gemini stellium (Mercury in Gemini) with an Aqua moon. Think I don't understand air? I carried them in my 5 planet Scorpio body to term then birth their big mouths out into the universe where the only time they have any problems at all is when they won't SHUT UP. They say the most insane shit I have ever heard in my life then cannot understand why their wife won't talk to them for a month. And I want to be clear. I love them so deeply and truly that when they do get into a fix, and have many times, I go charging in like a lunatic to defend them. I sound like I can't stand air. I have Mars in Gemini and I love the shit out of them. My oldest son, the Libra, has a vicious mouth!
I have even had to defend my DIL who has Pluto in the 1st. 😳 Don't ask.
Cancer, Pisces and Scorpio will not take it. It's not just Scorpio. I know a Cancer that would bury a body. A Pisces that is so quiet, you'd never know what happened. It's just that Scorpio is usually done.
Hey, when Aquarius is done, they are done. No one talks about it being fixed signs in general. Try it with a Taurus. 😳 And I have never met a Virgo that takes a lot of shit from anyone. Don't piss one of those off. Worse, don't hurt them. Has anyone ever hurt a Leo? Good luck coming back from that.
The thing is, she loves this person. She is clear she hurt him and wants to move forward and has done what she can to fix it. If he cannot get over it, which may very well be, then moving on is the answer. Just not the easy answer when you love someone. Not every relationship makes it. In fact, none of them do except the one you finally land on. From the failures we learn how to treat people better. I know I have. I have had some of the worst relationships .... the horrible kind you write about. So gross. Some have been violent. When I am done, and it takes me a minute, I am done. Not just in romance. Any relationship. This doesn't make me special. It may make me an asshole. Because I may find a way to forgive it for myself, but I will never forget it. And it will never happen again. And who cares what Scorpio thinks anyway.....
This may be a Scorpio, but he is also a fixed sign. And right now, I wouldn't come for a fixed sign for cash money..... best just let them be.
I wouldn't do anything to upend anything until July is over. Have you seen the transits. We are talking BRUTAL. Not a time to say anything about or to anyone.
Just let it be for right now. I know I am right in this advice.
Although some weeks ago he told me he wanted to break up, his behavior at times is suggesting something else. Plus, he wants to make love to me.
That's from OP herself. Gel it over for a few days or weeks and tell me what this sounds like to you. I’m not taking anything back. She’s undoubtedly guiltless in this, but he’s keeping her around because some part of him is into the drama.
You’ll also notice on a re-read that I didn’t tell her to throw in the towel. I said get physical space and let him figure it out. That might very well be the end, but nobody is inherently all bad or all good, so this relationship could totally be salvageable. But if it is, he needs a wakeup call. They both need distance to get out of this "I need you, I'm losing you" perseverative loop.
@rusalka the thing about me is this... never once in my life have I ever just fallen on a dick. Okay, I got that expression from the leader here... but it is true. Unless we are literally being assaulted. Don't do it.
She is an adult. She can decide to control this situation and not F him. It's that simple. Don't. We are talking about adults here. If someone is hurting you do not F them. We are responsible for our own shit.
@soup Also, I wrote this knowing you and others would think I'm being cunty, because I kind of am. But here's the thing, if I said it and I was completely wrong, all the Scorps and 8th house and Pluto people would detest me, and Calliope and her man work it out fine. My feelings get hurt and everyone else is fine in the end. I can live with that.
But if my hunch was right and I said nothing, she'd be wasting her precious time and tears for nothing and there's despair and real risk of psychological damage there. There could also be a much bigger problem in the relationship underlying this. I'm a girl's girl and I have to get out in front of that. I get nothing out of it personally.
@rusalka If you wrote this knowing that others or I would think you are cunty, then why do it?
I'm being cunty, because I kind of am.
To help someone who has asked for help to curb her inability to speak badly to the man she loves and literally goes to therapy to do better? (which I commend by the way)
@soup, I will keep this in mind ❤️ Hard to do as my Leo Mars gets impatient at times...
I wouldn't do anything to upend anything until July is over. Have you seen the transits. We are talking BRUTAL. Not a time to say anything about or to anyone.
Just let it be for right now. I know I am right in this advice.
I know he might decide not to be with me anymore. I have decided to leave and start the new job, so he has to make his decision about coming or not at a certain moment. It’s also very difficult for me to leave, but I know I have to. I have already accepted the new offer and started to plan the relocation. He’s been softening with me lately, hugging me more, coming closer in a tender way, but it might be due to my approaching departure…
He said that he would consider coming at a later moment... I’m trying not to get my hopes high, but still… he’s considering. I think if he was to give me another chance, it would be after a longer time (if...). I can also feel sometimes he wants to, but can’t…
@calliope I am a Scorpio through and through. I think he loves you tremendously or he would have left already. Of course he wants to have seggys time with you. He is in love with you. I think it will pass. We all say stupid things from time to time. I do. I regret it always. Give him a chance to let it go. I just really believe that the guy loves you. If he didn't love you, he wouldn't have shown emotion when the whatever hurt him. Never give up on real love. It isn't easy to find. Not like the thing you have.....
My husband has an Aqua rising and Mercury. Sometimes... omg. It hurts. But that man would open a vein for me and I know it.
@soup ❤️ thank you so much for everything you said, but especially this:
Give him a chance to let it go.
I know I have to... To give him the chance to let go, I'll have to let go myself.
This is very difficult for me. I have Libra Pluto (1 house) conjunct Scorpio Saturn (2 house), letting go is one of the hardest things to do for me... because I have tons of determination to fight for what I want/ believe in...
Whenever life puts me in a situation where I have to let go, I resist it & fight it with all I can (and I can a lot) until I get exhausted (which is also difficult for me to reach given my resistance) and finally let go...
@calliope One of the last things my grandmother said to me was never give up on real love. I hope you don't.
@soup I hope he also won't. It takes two to want this relationship. If he gives up, I will have to give up too.
Yesterday I asked him how long he thinks he needs to decide on coming to/ with me. He said he doesn't know. It's clear to me that I will be leaving alone for the new location and I'm ok with that. I understand.
I don't know how long will I still be able to live with this uncertainty. I'm willing to give him time and space, but I might be reaching a limit within myself... I'm not sure what this waiting for him to decide will do to my heart if it takes too long. I told him this.
@calliope Congrats on the job. That is amazing. You have to take care of yourself and your future. I understand. No one should be put into a holding pattern forever. Whatever way it turns out, I wish you the best!
@rusalka, I am very sorry about what happened between you and your brother ❤️
I don’t see my Scorpio as manipulative. If I were to see him like this, I would have addressed this. I love this man and I know a lot about his past, his hurts, his soul. I understand the point he is in right now even if not completely because of my pain in this dynamic. The context between us is larger than what I could share here and the hurtful words are just a part of our long relationship and were not said only once, it’s a longer story... I know and I can see the damage I did. As someone who’s been in therapy for a long and striving to be a better person, I recognized and apologized for what I did. I’m always trying to learn and grow.
I know he is very hurt, but I also know he loves me very much and it would be difficult for him to let me go if he decided this. I don’t think his delay in making a decision is not coming from manipulation, I can feel he is in a lot of pain and it’s difficult for him... I also think he is processing a lot and part of his inner processes have to do with his earlier life.
I have decided to give him time and space, although it is difficult for me to stay in this uncertainty because I feel where he is right now and I felt strong enough to do this. He’s not treating me coldly and using me only for sex. There are also moments of playfulness and tenderness between us. Not like before, he is more distant than before, but he’s been softening with time, especially these last days. Maybe because he knows I’m leaving (?) I don’t know…
The situation between me and Scorpio is complicated indeed, but it will come to an end and a decision…
I am sorry that I can only skim and this is going to be kind of a hit and run because I’m dictating it on a short break at work. I came off strongly because I feel strongly about this. I’m just tired of seeing incredible women in my life, tying themselves into pretzels for boys, like they have no choice but to do that. I don’t dish what I can’t take, but I can take a lot, and I don’t always judge correctly whether other can. I will not to say anything or anyone is too sensitive because I don’t believe in such a thing.
I made a mistake and I shot from the hip. I am really sorry if I offended you or misunderstood anything in any of your posts. It’s best for me not to speak or write when I’m shocked or angry. I’m going to say this again, a little calmer, and I hope you can understand what I’m really trying to say. I think that your boyfriend is probably a good person. I personally see the drama as a flaw. We all have one. Now you know what mine is.
I did see your response below that you got a job offer that is going to split you guys up for at least a short time. This is a good thing. You both need space to get out of the rut and think. In the spirit of keeping on topic, he can 100% forgive you if he wants to. I just don’t think the whole relationship is teetering on that one little spot. I don’t want you to feel like you have any choice other than to hang on until he decides. You can both not stay in this situation and not necessarily destroy the entire relationship. I've seen it work when people take breaks and I would not give you false hope.
I will not keep bugging you. You can always tag me if you want me.
No worries, I didn’t feel offended & all good on my side 🤗
I also know from some close friends some relationships benefit from taking a break. I hope this can also be our case, but I’m trying to keep a bit of inner distance (as much as I can) until a final decision.
Those are my thoughts exactly...
In the spirit of keeping on topic, he can 100% forgive you if he wants to. I just don’t think the whole relationship is teetering on that one little spot. I don’t want you to feel like you have any choice other than to hang on until he decides. You can both not stay in this situation and not necessarily destroy the entire relationship. I've seen it work when people take breaks and I would not give you false hope.
I have a general update about our situation: These days I received a very good job offer in another country. Before our current situation, we considered moving to another country if a good job offer came. I talked to the Scorpio and told him this looks like a great opportunity and that I’d go for it and would love him to come with me. The salary is very good and we’d have no financial worries, so he’d have the chance to search for a job without the money stress. He indeed recognized the offer I got was very good and said that I should accept it. He said he would consider coming with me. He’s still thinking about it. I will be leaving at the end of this month.
I know he won’t come with me at the end of this month as he said he’ll think about it and that anyway, he won’t come exactly when I go. He also wants to travel to see his parents and grandparents as he misses them. But I know for sure he’s thinking seriously about it.
He might come or might not come. I can see how complicated it is for him now to make both a professional and emotional decision. I don’t know what he will decide in the end, but I will have to go.
@calliope it's a blessing. Put an end to this, one way or the other. Congrats on the job.
hi,
i noticed he has libra moon libra venus, does your man tend to have some people pleasing skills, bending to others? And may I ask,what were your harsh words to him and why you were upset to make him so? Maybe to get to the root of the problem, why there is a problem in the first place may help to allieviate any future arguments and perhaps helping eachother understand eachother's nature. I hope everything works well with you and your man. :))
@elisa, thanks for your message ❤️
My harsh words towards him were coming from me feeling triggered by my abandonment issues (anxious attachment) on which I’m currently working in therapy. I would prefer not to reproduce here the exact words I told him as even when I remember I feel deep pain and shame, but basically, it was about how I felt he didn’t love me (which I knew he did, but on those triggering moments the reality looked different) because of... and... This situation happened many times, not just once. It is painful to have your love questioned like this and to have to prove it over and over again...
As I am in therapy, I understand it now from both sides and have learned some ways to deal with the triggers, but it might be too late for our relationship. I told him he also needs individual therapy for himself with or without me in his life and proposed to him a couple therapy if he still wants to be together, which I think won’t happen after so many weeks of waiting by his side and no chance of mind.
He has some people-pleasing aspects, but I think not much. I think he has it more with me or very close people than other people (colleagues at work, etc.). The Scorpio inside him is strong enough to shine strong. But in love, I think too many times, he ignored his own needs to please me and in time it became too much for him, and couldn’t take it anymore. For sure he has boundaries issues and so do I. I can sadly see how much different our relationship would have been if we had done this part of the work on ourselves sooner, but we didn’t know it and things happen when they happen… maybe we weren’t ready for this type of work, it is a painful process in itself after all. Now he wants to work on himself too in therapy, but he doesn’t want to be with me anymore.
I’ll update you here about the conclusion when it will be reached. But I can see that through all these weeks together even if he softened with me and showed me much of his sweeter and caring side, I know he didn’t change his mind yet and I feel he won’t. I will be leaving in a few weeks and I’m open to giving him some more time from far away, but I told him I don’t know how much can I still bear this painful waiting.
i'm glad to hear he's softened and showing you his sweeter side over the weeks. 
yes let us know and update us. I wish you luck and i hope therapy is helping too :))
Hello everyone, I wanted to update you a bit about the situation: Scorpio and I are (back) together.
In the summer, I moved to another country and started a new job, but it proved to be a very toxic workplace, so after a few months there I quit and now I'm back.
When I left in the summer, Scorpio was distant, told me he didn't want to be together anymore… and it was like an ice wall between us and I thought this was all lost.
When he saw me coming back, I fully felt he missed me a lot. The ice wall is completely gone. He’s back to being his usual sweet and affectionate self with me. I still cannot believe it. We didn’t talk about it, and I don’t know what is that made the ice wall disappear and resuscitated his heart… the distance maybe, or seeing me go away. No idea, but it is like this.
@calliope That's lovely to hear. Is he present for you? It seems that he was on the fence for awhile ... I would take the time to ensure that he is really there. I would take it slow ... make sure that he's really doing the things that he says he will
@calliope That's lovely to hear. Is he present for you? It seems that he was on the fence for awhile ... I would take the time to ensure that he is really there. I would take it slow ... make sure that he's really doing the things that he says he will
Thank you ❤️ We're back living together as before I left in summer. Yes, he is present for me doing everything he says he will. I have no doubt about how he feels. I think for both of us these months have been painful... and we're still slowly healing from it. So, yes, definitely taking things slowly... this is why I didn't tell him to talk about it (yet).
so happy for you. You both found yourselves, after being busy and doing things for yourself. A truly wonderful happy ending type of romance. i love hearing this stuff.
❤️ 🌹 🌺