No update so far but I think I’m starting to lose my mind. Generally, I’m a strong person and I’ve been handling this situation from a calm and loving space inside me. But there are moments when I’m overwhelmed by sadness and pain… and I feel like I’m just prolonging my agony waiting by his side to have a change of mind/ heart and that he never will or maybe he will but after a very long time. It’s already been many weeks and this might take months. Sometimes I’m not sure I can stay in this painful uncertainty state for too long…
I have Pluto in Libra in the 1st house. I’m very driven to make this relationship work (I have the determination and the fire) but I’m afraid I won’t be able if he will be just a small percentage willing to... As I know him, he will not say “Let’s try it” unless this will be stronger than the wish to break up. He’s always been frank about what he feels.
Also, I’m used to dealing with intense emotions and pain, but at times I wonder why I would let myself stay in this painful place (and until when will this last?) when I’ve been already struggling so much in the previous years with anxiety and depression. Why wouldn’t I be kind to myself and distance myself from the situation and leave? - I wonder at times. If he were to want to be with me, he might have time alone to realize if this is in the end what he wants. As painful as this would be, I sometimes think maybe it would be better to move to another place and not be living together anymore.
He has Venus, Moon, and Mercury in Libra. He seems to have difficulty deciding to stay with me or break up. Although some weeks ago he told me he wanted to break up, his behavior at times is suggesting something else. Plus, he wants to make love to me.
I can’t seem to understand why he loves me and wants me but he can’t change his mind/ heart. Does he truly love me if he has been doubting for so long about us? I don’t know what to think and I don’t understand this prolongation anymore…
I wonder would a Scorpio perceive betrayal if I were leaving his side, leaving him alone, and telling him if he changes his mind to tell me?
@calliope Astrologically, with the Moon having entered Taurus, the level of frustration associated with stuck, resistant or seemingly unmoving situations is amplified. Fixed energy. Should ease a bit when moon enters Gemini.
Eyes have to be on the Mars Uranus conjunction very slowly building. I think just note the pressure, but not necessarily need to do anything. To be honest, my sense is that the pressure is more on the masculine with Mars involved, and this pressure is being felt empathically by the feminine, Venus (in Cancer), but the feminine shouldn't get confused and take responsibility for it by acting out the others emotions via projection.
@sophiab Thank you so much ❤️ I have carried your thoughts with me these days even if my reply here comes with a bit of delay. I appreciate very much you wrote me this, I have found consolation in what you said and something inside feels more soothed now. I have cried a lot these days too, maybe also for the need to release tension as I'm a person of quite intense emotions.
@calliope The things we go through are both personal but also shared, so I'm glad what I wrote could help and bring some comfort. This is why I love forums 