My brother in law is here. One of his friends put a large laminate sign on his mailbox - mounted it:

"BIGFOOT LIVES HERE".

He left it up. It has a picture of bigfoot on it.

My husband just informed me, he in not a molecule.  His issue is I want him to get me something,  first, which is out of his usual order.  He can't do it, because he moves in a circle.... not bouncing around like a molecule. 

I think I cracked the mystery of the women who stopped by. Not without every member of my husband's family getting involved to wrack their brains over these last days. But through this process, the smoke cleared, and I got it.

80% chance, anyway.

People say my mother will feel better, or perhaps less anxious is the word, when she is in a routine. She’s been in the place less than a week. We sit and she talks and talks about family stories, or when she looks at her Christmas card lost she will talk about the people on there. They’re nice stories, stories I’ve heard 1000x. Then some stories are getting a little mixed up. And some stories are graphic: she believed that my father was on a three week course where the third week they injected him and he died (he really did have cancer. Now today she implied he did it himself. And a story about her cousin who was brutally taped and pistol whipped thst I’d never heard about in my life. And a story about how her cousin was in love with her and wanted to marry her. 

I’m made a hair appointment for her there. I said we could put her little Christmas tree up and she said she better not be in that long. And she told me she heard people talking about her, saying they couldn’t do anything about her knee and that they hoped she’d leave because they need the bed. This is starting to sound like what she believes her condo neighbors said and spied on her about (she still talks about that)

I hope I don’t sound callous. I wonder if I’m just taking notes to convince myself this is real. She just wants things to be the same: her bed, the one she saved her babysitting money for when she was a teenager (true story), her couch, the peanuts to feed the squirrels, her same tv channels, her newspaper every Sunday. But that will never be that way again. The place is fine but it’s just like a slow death. 

I feel like a horrible person when I leave her and she starts to cry. I try to joke and deflect but I feel like a liar. I know this isn’t unique. So many of you have gone through this. I’m here by myself on this trip. It’s ok. I don’t mind solo travel. My husband is good and is helping so much. He is ultra practical and yes we have to do things and get things answered and done. But I sometimes just cry because she’s a person, my mother, a small woman there in her chair by the window just wanting her life the way it was.

I’m grateful I can come here and just let things out.

I was cleaning up posts and came across this picture of my old friend, Alexa. We shared a carpool for our kids for ten years.

Can you see her energy? I'm sure you can.

This is what's been removed from the internet.

She's an interesting woman.  She grew up in a commune... has two fathers and three mothers?

Her family had a big holiday party every year. I went one year... it was fun.

Bit of trivia, her family bought a property from, Hugh Hefner. This is in Colorado. He had a ranch there for some years... they bought it in the 60's and she grew up there. This is all common knowledge.  I know all her sisters... they live in a tight group in a neighborhood.  Like two doors down, four doors down and 'round the corner?  They like it this way, though they constantly get enraged with each other.  It's funny.

They still have the ranch and this is where the party is held.  !t's a mid-century marvel.