I can't believe what some of these companies are doing to employees, to torment them into quitting. I can't say these people are psychopaths, but they've sure been trained in that direction.
Lady in exercise class put her hand on her heart, before class.
"Are you okay?"
She said she had palpitations and angina... she also said her doctor would not refer her to a cardiologist. She knows her doc /goes to church with him. Bottom line, cardiologists do not want doctors referring patients if they "can handle it themselves". I'm pretty sure this is area-wide. My husband's doc used the same phrasing.
She also said, "when you get old, they put you on the back burner." This is also true, I'd say.
It makes me think, it really is up to God... whether or not she has a symptom that gets her to a higher level... or if she just dies.
I have the strong impression, doctors are swamped with "vague complaints" hard to pin down. I feel sorry for all involved... and getting in to see a cardiologist, takes months of course.
"You may have to go an an emergency room - get referred that way."
Point here is we're all having to navigate this, along with everything else!
@elsa Oh wow! My doctor referred me to a cardiologist for my mitral valve, three-thump heartbeat. That was 2018. My primary is around my age.
@allie120 there are legions of heart patients in their 20's and 30's now. Nowhere near enough cardio docs.
This makes sense:
No BS Therapist writes:
@elsa That makes sense in many ways. My husband’s side of the family is very strong and connected and the kids are, and their mother’s side was. I don’t knkw if it’s always a need thing, although sometimes it is. The kids need help babysitting or building or repairing something.
My immediate family was not so much like that. When my grandmother was alive and before they moced to Arizona, my mother would help my grandmother because she couldn’t drive. And we all had holidays. But after they moved, it felt my immediate family just stayed by ourselves.
I think needing your parents for help (repairing, building, advice) can maintain strong ties. But other things like their life stories, their traditions, their presence, those are needs, too.
This makes me think about my mother. She needs more help now but I wonder if I can’t also spin that into needing her, because that makes her feel better.
@elsa I talked to my mom for two hours today. She sounded good, as in she wasn’t sad or anything. Best conversations were about baking, preserving, and gardening and my cat (she loves my cat).
Other stories were wild and it’s a gauge to where she’s at. My brother and sister and I had a conference call with some action items. It was good but perhaps that’s another post.
My husband (Mars in Cancer) got in a family fight. He usually avoids this but he blew his stack and spoke his mind. Now he's headed home, hopped up.
I can handle it.
My back doc, who is also his back doc also told him today, it's not possible for his back to get worse.
You were all so kind and concerned when I expressed my concern and sadness over my mother’s current state. Thank you. My siblings and I had a conference call Sunday.
Among us, and especially my brother who sees her regularly, she has declined much this year. We are calling it dementia. The last time she went to a doctor was 10 years ago and she was in the throes of alcohol abuse and she could barely take care of herself and we did interview with assisted living. That fucking sucked and I hated it and it felt very off (it’s the system). Anyway she got herself back together, my brother took over her finances and she decided not to drive anymore.
Everyone knows it’s tough when it’s a parent who can do almost anything, they have their own agency and can make decisions on their own, until they don’t. Her stories don’t always add up, which most of the time doesn’t matter, meaning, she’s not giving away money or letting people in the house or things like that. They’re just outlandish and confusing but she’s always the hero so I guess that’s good…
Anyway, my brother knows someone who is close to him and the kids who has experience here and he’s going to talk to her, and set up a meeting to meet Mom. If Mom likes her and she’s a good fit, she can do laundry, take out trash, drop off mail (Mom likes to send out cards and also articles to my husband), do housework, talk with her a bit. So we are definitely getting her that type of help now, no matter what. But each of us is also going to research other housing options in our areas. Mom has expressed a desire to move to a single level (her laundry is in the basement of the condo). That’s good but in talking to her we each have gotten the feeling that her mindset is that of her moving to a new house, type of deal, with a yard. So we will have to monitor that. My ideal would be for her to have a single level place to live very similarly to how she is now but very close to one of us kids so we can go over whenever. For for now we will get the aide and evaluate the situation as needed (for personality fit) and definitely within a timeframe of 6 months or something to look at setting up a move.
@allie120 Sounds like you and your siblings have it all covered. I really like the sensitivity and consideration you are all displaying, down to the personality fit. I wish every senior citizen could be treated this way. What a blessing you kids are!.
As for your mom; what a strong woman she is to fight her way out of addiction. So many people don’t/can’t. I love hearing these success stories.
Your mom’s in good hands. I wish you all the best.