What do you want out of life? Also, did you get it?
As a child I wanted a life of travel and adventure, like a character in a Mary Stewart novel. Not quite but some, probably more than most. And beloved dogs, yes. An old house full of books and antiques, yes. A tropical climate, yes. A sports car, two. To be an adoring muse to an enigmatic man, close. To save all the homeless animals, sadly impossible but I still try to help. To move to Europe or an exotic locale, no but probably just as well these days.
I'm incredibly blessed and very grateful for my countless blessings.
My wants were fairly simple, a family and a bunch of animals. I was lucky. 😊❤️
I kind of feel like I'm divided on what I want at this point of my life.. at the core of it, I want stability and love. Do I have that currently? 1 out of the 2.
I guess some of the things I've wanted, I have gotten in a way but maybe not the way I thought it would manifest.
I want my life to be an adventure and to travel (which I've done and still do when I can) and also to live so many places for the anthropological experience, but I don't know how to take that leap of faith.. or rather, I'm a bit afraid. Afraid to fall and land right on my ass and the landing being so hard, that it takes me out. I was initially planning and saving (still doing this), but then life happened (continuous) it set me back so much that it feels so.. unobtainable right now or just really far away.
I want to have a long term relationship yet I'm cautious to really date because I know that I don't want to be in this city for long and would rather forgo the breaking up process.
But my dream ever since I was little was to be in love and married... and also to be a rockstar which in the scheme of things, I feel like I've achieved that on a very small scale at least.
I wrote a song months ago about this very thing; humans being fallible creatures and some having this constant desire for our "wants" in an almost gluttonous way. Never feeling satisfied. It was a way of trying to figure out what the fuck I actually want, really.
Here's some of the lyrics:
Time is running out or is it just a concept?
I still haven't gotten all that I've earned yet, no
How do I know if I deserve it?
All I know is that I'm worth it
I work hard climbing that damn mountain
After all I'm only human
I'm not ever satisfied
I desire
I want it all
I also wanted a lot of adventure, thrill, fun. I wanted to be an adult, badly, so I could run my life however I wanted. I got all of these things, in spades.
I don't want anything anymore, except to please God.
Same here, or at least to Not Displease God, and to be at peace with myself if possible. I'm trying to "get it right this time," in what I believe really matters, after screwing up in so many ways in the past.
@warped I don't feel I'm that awful. I'm satisfied with life, I guess. I'm into giving now. Like do something for someone else so they might benefit or see their life improve. I don't want to cause harm or cost of some kind to anyone. At this time, this pretty much means spending time alone, for the purpose of making it easier for others.
I prayed the Litany of Humility with earnest, enough times, something came of it.
Of course you're not awful! Your whole career is about giving! I can't imagine you'd cause harm, even if you're trying to help one who doesn't want it.
My main focus is my senior dog, trying to give him the longest, healthiest, best life. I didn't always give him or others before him as much time and attention as I wish I had. Now I research incessantly, spend freely, nothing and no one competes. I've always had a solitary nature by default, and the Covid era taught me that I've really no need for shallow socializing.
Beyond that, trying to figure out the world is a form of recreation. I value my occasional substantial conversations with a few close friends, my books, movies, hobbies, learning, sharing. I'm the kid who read encyclopedias for fun!
I'm going to search for that prayer!
@elsa you've lived such an interesting, adventurous life. Sharing your wisdom from all the experiences you've had is definitely a form of giving. By doing that, I believe you are doing the will of God.
If you weren't here, so many people wouldn't be able to discover their own truth!
I hope when I settle into my elder ages, that I can do the same thing. Become sage-like. It's big shoes to fill, but I'm still growing!
@ridingthewaves thank you. I feel I'm doing what I am designed to do. The more I am able to untangle and excavate, the clearer this is to me.
The more I understand that I am different and WHY I'm different, there clearer it gets; I need to do what I am doing because I have keys that most everyone lost by the time they were 5 or 6 years old.
But I don't relish it at this point. I'm not talking about working with clients. I always like that and suspect I always will. But exposing myself, writing, and then suffering as a result, is a far worse burden than people imagine.
Saturn Neptune.
I want financial security. I want time to do my creative work and I want to spend time in nature and the health and stamina to maintain.
once I realized it was actually me in the way blocking myself, I have been walking the walk, talking the talk and it’s a slow steady process. But I do have faith that it is happening.