My father, Virgo Sun/Cancer Mars, has this nailed down to a science.
I'm not experiencing this with anyone right now either, but I don't think it won't ever happen again...
I'm usually the more direct let's get this out in the open type, but I cop to have done this when I felt like confrontation would not solve the problem or it was a lost cause... I go silent and withdraw.
Goldie said
soup said
I have this down to an art.It's a Scorpio thing, don't you think? Or closely related?
I'm not sure. My husband is an 8H sun and Mercury (in Cancer). Some of his silent treatment might actually be him pulling inside his shell to process. But, you know, let's not talk about it and do it to me even if it's unrelated to anything I did.
At any rate, I never poke the hiding crab. But I don't want to walk around scared either.
I grew up with Gem Moons, so letting it all air out was - and still is - how we get past difficult situations.
However...with certain people, even after whatever we disagree on is out there, they still revert back to the same crap that caused the fight in the first place. Since there's no reasoning with them, I stop talking to them.
Some of them then love to throw it back on me. "I don't know why this is happening!" Pffffft, nope, go play somewhere else.
I'm a lot like you, Goldie. I sometimes go silent not as a tactic, but because I am trying to bite my tongue, etc.
Virgo sun and stellium here with intense drops of Scorpio and Sag -- I trying to be silent to Option A, think it through logically: what should be my reaction? Or Option B, should I dig a trap for you, fill it with scorpions and cover it with a strip of sod upon which rests a tempting peppermint patty and sporting goods gift card? Or, Option C, maybe I should just move 1300 miles away to that job offer or my old BF or my favorite town in another land! Thinking, not PA. Who has time for PA?
Otherwise I may go Vesuvius all over that other person! My Cancer sun husband (we both share Sag Moon and other planets in nearly mirror placements) says: Grrr you get passive aggressive!
Me: No, THIS IS ME BEING PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE (thirty minute display). And THIS IS ME thinking Option B. And THIS IS ME ERUPTING! IS THAT BETTER?
I'll be silent but it's so I don't say something I'll regret later because I am SO mad. Or my thoughts are so confused and I need to sort them out. But I don't do the silent treatment as punishment. I just want to get along.
allie120 said
I'll be silent but it's so I don't say something I'll regret later because I am SO mad. Or my thoughts are so confused and I need to sort them out. But I don't do the silent treatment as punishment. I just want to get along.
Yes you know I should clarify...I don't do the silent treatment as a punishment. For me, it's a reaction to 1)my own hurt feelings 2)trying to watch what I say on an issue I am known to be reactive on 3)awkwardness after a fight because I am unsure if the issue is resolved 4)anger and I am trying to control it.
I will say I am more direct with those I do not know, so this would apply to what Elsa said about people being more in-your-face. If I know you, I am more apt to be this way (giving silent treatment). If I don't know you, I am direct. Probably shockingly direct.
It's probably the exact opposite of what I should be doing, lol, but...I never said I did stuff the right way...