I have Cancer placements, and I can go silent for all kinds of reasons. Do I do the silent treatment? No, I don't think I do, not as punishment, anyway.

I look at it like this. If I found letters my husband wrote to another woman, I would probably be quiet for a few days, processing the hurt. But eventually I know I would have to tell him what I'd found. I would never make him guess what was wrong in that instance.

If I walked in on my husband cheating on me, that's a different story. In that instance, I would probably refuse to speak to him until he spoke to me. I would do it to protect myself from further hurt. At that point I wouldn't know where our relationship stood, and I would need him to reach out to me to let me know he still valued me. I would not be able to invest any more energy into the relationship until he made an overture. This isn't punishment; it's the natural Crab response to injury.

That's interesting, Goldie. My mom and husband both seem to think my being quiet is the punishment type of silent treatment. They're both Cardinals so I think they want to get stuff out there Rawr Rawr Rawr! Haha. They don't like when I'm not fighting back. But it's just like the reasons you give above. 

There's a lot more emotional investment in people you know, so maybe that affects how we communicate with silence or directly. 

Reading this thread, I guess it turns out there are all kinds of reasons people keep silent. It seems silly to assume people aren't speaking because they're trying to punish someone.

I think for me it has to do with the way I communicate that I've been hurt or that something is unacceptable. If I think it's in any way possible the person might not realize they've crossed a line, then simply not speaking to them expecting them to figure it out seems cruel. But in truly egregious scenarios, like the cheating one I illustrated above, I don't have to stand there and tell the guy he's hurt me. It's obvious.

I do this, or have done this, usually as a last resort. At a certain point, the exchange of energy is the only bargaining tool I have left so am forced to withdraw it. I iced my mom out at one point for a long time, several months, not easy to do when you live together. More recently, I found my infatuation with a co-worker had reached unbearable levels and the only solution I saw was the complete cold shoulder. It helped, I guess, for awhile, I was able to gain some distance from the situation but reverted back to old ways eventually.

Also I think that it gives back the sense of control in an otherwise uncontrollable situation (other people's actions, emotions, etc.). I know that it can be very painful and confusing for the "treatee" as well as draining and exhausting for the "treater". Maybe this is a Pisces thing, Saturn too, I don't know. Though I feel, in my case, it has been a defensive act of desperation, it is also manipulative and cruel and I'm not proud of this tendency.

I was just talking about cardinals. Duh. My Mercury is in a cardinal sign, if it is in fact Mercury doing the not talking. But it's conjunct Venus and part of my grand trine, which, honestly, is a little dippy sometimes.

But as Magic and owl said, the silent treatment does seem to be a coping or defensive mechanism at times. It's interesting to see it used for various reasons, in various situations.

I grew up with being given the silent treatment as a way to punish for (usually imagined) transgressions. It went along with being expected to read someone's mind and know what they wanted without having to ask.

IMO, there are much better and more adult ways of handling it if you have an issue with someone. If a person gives me the silent treatment now and it's clearly designed to punish (as opposed to retreating temporarily in order to figure out how to bring up an issue) I just walk away and go on with my own life.