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your style of living

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(@gogol)
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Alright, so having lived in a variety of housing arrangements, I have a question for you all. There are times when we may have to live alone. There are also times when people live exclusively in pairs, either through marriage or a similar arrangement. Lastly, there are times when people live in "communes," or with a group of people, even though they may have made separate arrangements for themselves.

How many times have you went through such living conditions? Do you think you'll be alone, coupled, or grouped forever? Which of these do you really miss?

Thanks in advance!

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Elsa
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 Elsa
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Interesting question. I lived alone for many years, and loved it.  But I had progressed Venus in Virgo at the time.  Once Venus progressed into Libra, I did not want to live alone at all.

Now progressed Venus is in Scorpio. If my husband were to die before me, I'd be alone again. I am not sure I could stand it though.  MAYBE. But I think it's more likely, I get a roommate situation. Golden Girls type thing.  Shared resources.

I don't miss anything.  My conditions have generally been right for where I'm am at the time.

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Estella
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@elsa I agree with conditions being right for where we are in life. We may not think so when it happens but we will get used to it. 😁

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Hades Moon
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(@hades-moon)
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I have lived with my partner my whole adult life so ideally I’d like to continue this way.

When I moved out of my parents home I did not miss it at all as I was escaping emotional, and at times, physical abuse.

I was so at peace when I could live in solitude and safety with my partner. My home became my sanctuary. I really value having a loving and peaceful home with just my partner and my cat/s.

If I was left on my own I would not seek another partner. I think I would move closer to where close friends or a relative resided. I would be open to sharing a home with one other but never anymore 😄.

I find it fascinating how others seek, and very much enjoy, living with many people. There are retirees who live on cruise ships permanently. They must be full on extroverts. If this is what makes them happy, good luck to them 🙂.

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 Inne
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I only lived on my own in my years of study. Except from the freedom, I preferred to live with other people. At the end of my study I shared a flat with a friend. After that I lived my whole adult life with my partner until the end of last year. 

For me living together with a partner is indeed like a little sanctuary where I can retreat (Pisces Moon) but still be together with someone (Venus in 7th, Libra rising). I really love those little moments when you are together but not necessarily have to talk, just enjoying each others presence. This kind of bond I find it hard to create with other people than a SO.

Now after so many years I am back on my own and maybe, that's is a lesson to be learnt I was thinking. To regain complete independence.  

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Estella
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@inne Now what we discussed about your SR makes more sense. You’ve been through a huge life change and thus, you are trying to cope with the stress of this changed living situation! 🤗

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soup
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Beginning of life, with the whole darn family. Including grandparents. As I got older, the same, except my mom let any family that was down on their luck live with us. We had married grandparents and then the widowed grandmother with two uncles and a cousin at one time. There were 5 kids and a dog too. Big old historic home with a detached garage in back that was remodeled into a 2 bedroom in law house. With all that going on my mother always gave me my own room. Tennessee people believe in taking care of family, there will be no nursing homes. These people died in the house. My mother and father died in that house. 

Married. Live with husband. This repeats itself. Divorced, lived with just the two kids. Finally with husband, youngest son and in back, my home this time, a detached garage with a one-bedroom apartment upstairs. So, my oldest son and his wife lived there. Moved to big historic home and had all three grands all the time. With their own rooms. One was with us all the time, the oldest. The others were there a lot. I had all of them every weekend. One of my kids or their kids were at my house every single day. They all had keys to the front door. 

I am currently living with the least amount of people I have ever lived with in my life. Just my husband. And I love it. LOVE IT. 

I have never lived alone in my life. Never once, not ever. How many people can say that? Son called the other night and said if something happens, and I should ever lose my husband I am coming to live with them and I have no choice. God. I hope that day never comes. I know my kids would be down here in the amount of time it takes to drive with a giant truck hauling me back home and probably in the youngest one's house. E-gads! 😳 

People wonder why I am having a bit of a challenge living so far from home. That is why. I have lived a lot of years, one way. This is completely different from anything I have done in my life. And they absolutely hate it. My mother's side of the family are all Southern people. They want each other around, together, even if that means living with grandparents or an out of luck straggler. They will take them in, feed them and see they have what they need. 

Took a look at my progressed chart. Cap sun, Virgo moon and rising, Cap Venus 

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@soup I can relate. My childhood was similar. 3 kids all close in age. Parents divorced  when I was 5 so after that it was my mom my younger sister and younger brother and I. At times we had relatives live with us. My uncle lived with us a lot and he slept on the living room floor. We went to my dads every other weekend and there I had an 1 year older step sister and younger step brother who was my brothers age, so 5 kids… I was raised in the south and family were never far, always visiting. Spent lots of weekends at grandparents. 

I moved out at 18 and had three roommates. Then off and on homeless. Staying with friends. Camping. My ex and I lived with his mother for a couple of years when I was pregnant and for about a year after my son was born so it was me, son and ex, his mom and her husband at the time living there, again always visitors almost every day. 
Then we got an apartment and it was just us 3 for a while until my cousin/uncle who is 2 yrs younger than me was down on his luck and moved in with us…. When we broke up I moved back in with my mom… then when she got married me and my son moved in with my grandmother who was living with her mother (my great grandmother). Then I moved out of state to be with my husband (high school sweetheart) and we’ve been together ever since. I’ve never lived on my own.

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soup
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@sirena-oceana I am glad to hear I am not the only one. Maybe this is a water sign thing. My youngest Cancer sis is the same. My mother the Cancer sun was the same, but my Virgo and Gemini sisters... they had Apts alone. They didn't want to live with anyone. 

Never once in my life did I just go and rent or buy something alone. (there have been times I have had to pay the bills alone, but that is not the same) I have lived with someone all my life. Being so far away from home living with just my husband... you can hear a pin drop sometimes. (until they start calling) (Oldest grand started with the phone at 7:30 this morning) 

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(@sirena-oceana)
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@soup I understand. It’s hard to adjust. I did it too when I moved away. It took me at least 5 years to get used to it. I did not like being so far from family. Hated it really. Especially with the added culture shock.

Forgot to even mention about the 5 years my mil lived with us. That was the most difficult living situation I’ve ever been in. It wasn’t until I didn’t care that she was there anymore that she moved out. Sometimes the universe is like that.

I just realized I prolly shouldn’t say cousin/uncle. It’s actually my uncle (no incest involved lol) So when we were kids it was just easier to say we were cousins as not many people have uncles or aunts younger than them. However it is just my uncle… 2 years younger lol

 

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soup
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@sirena-oceana Culture shock!!!! omg. 😳 I'm 3 years in now and I am still lost. I can get around now but if it's anything outside a certain perimeter I have to use the GPS. At home I would never turn it on.

I remember your MIL... oh lord. She did a lot of that on purpose. 

I think water signs just roll out the carpet and let the family in the door. Come live with us! 🤪 We are just going to do it to our own detriment. 

My DIL asked me to come home because her mom was alone (a Pisces) and said you love each other; she would do so well with you. Umm you have to take care of your own momma girl... I mean I took care of her when her mother didn't. (the DIL) she was in my house all the time from day one.

She turned my life upside down. Other family said... omg you have a stage 5 clinger. And I did. But there was no way I was turning a young person carrying my Grand away. Come on in. I will feed you too. I was carrying so much at the time that this was the first time I called Elsa for a consult, and I was crying like a baby...because I never tell anyone anything irl. She said... you have her, you have to make her strong so she can carry that herself. So, I did. She is Capricorn. Pluto in the first. Don't get me started. She is strong. She just didn't know it at the time. 

Worse... she and Scorpio moon have moon Pluto within a degree, and they fight like demons. Since birth Scorpio moon has been pushing her mother away. It's a sight to behold. A mom and a kid with moon Pluto. Like cats in a bag. They love each other but one always tries to control the other one and it's a circus. They manipulate the shit out of each other. I know real moon Pluto up close. I was stuck in the middle of it for 15 years. I wanted to punch myself in the face watching it. They say the Pluto person is stronger. I disagree. Even worse... her mother's Pluto sits on my Stellium. (talking about DIL again)

It's like WTF is happening. How is this real? She is either all over me or never speaking to me again (DIL) 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 I just giggle under my breath. Thinking girl... fr? haha I did not give birth to this person. But she is mine (again, the DIL) and my son with his moon in my 8th house. This whole family ...and they think they are boxing me up and dragging me back 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 

I swear to God I was a living cast member in the family soap 'As the World Turns'.... I should be on medicine. How I am not shocking. I miss them all and love them so much and I would give them my last dollar... but let's try it from a distance for now. Especially since two of the girls are teenagers. My son called and said... the kids hate our guts... 🤣 🤣 🤣 I said, and they will till they are about 21. I will come to visit then LOL 

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Estella
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@soup Ah, soup, that was so beautiful! You have the family of my dreams - in theory anyway. 😁 I don’t know if my angular Uranus would take well to conventional living situations. 🤔

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soup
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@estella It was loud all the time. There was someone coming in and going out all the time. Like Grand Central Station. My married grandparents that lived in the MIL/FIL place they built on the back of the ppty ... they used the back half of the land for growing. We literally had corn and chickens. Yes, popping beans was required. I had to help her get it ready, plant and harvest. We never purchased as much as a jar of jelly. My grandmother and grandfather grew almost all of our food. Apple trees and pear trees and grape vines and blackberries to pick... Imagine the Waltons, only the mom is a little nutty and curses a lot! 😳 🤣

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Estella
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@soup Such a sweet family set up! For some reason it reminds me of Little House on the Prairie or Anne of Green Gables; where even the squabbles are regular wholesome ones. 😁 Must have been nice to pluck fruit from the back garden. 

I have no green thumbs so I buy my produce from a farmers market. 😁

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Estella
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With Aquarius ruling my IC and Uranus on my AC, you’d think I’d have had more experiences with communal living. I suppose the way it manifested itself was that I grew up with 2 Eurasian half-siblings (in a time and part of the world when divorce was taboo, and people were bigoted, as well as xenophobic) and every child in my household left at 17, for study, never to return. 

In my youth, I did live with friends, that was quite common. Even after marriage I had housemates for 3 years. 

For the past 19 years, I’ve been living with only my husband and children. The Uranian part is that the children have been in my bed from birth; the eldest moved to her own room the year she turned 10, because she had a new sibling. The youngest still sleeps with us and has no plans to go anywhere. On occasion, all 4 of us will sleep in the same room, even though I have enough rooms for each one of us to sleep separately. 

My children say they would be too scared to live in our house alone - one is a Taurus AC, one a Libra AC. They both said that they can see me doing just fine alone, if need be. I have Scorpio AC. They could be right. 😅😝🤭

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soup
 soup
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@estella Yeah, you're a Cancer. I nursed. My tiny babies slept on my chest. When they got bigger, they would not go... my kids are quite a few years apart. Same. One got bigger here came the next one... repeat.

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Estella
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@soup I nursed each of mine for 3 years each. Now I just want to keep my body to myself. 😝

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soup
 soup
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@estella Me too. People looked at me like I was from the jungle. I said, what do you think those things are on your chest for? The delight of men? Sorry, that is not why they are there. They are to feed babies like every other animal does LOL... I wanted my kids to have human nutrients. I made their solid baby food. Can't tell I am a Cancer rising with a stellium in the 4th, can you?

(Attention: I am not knocking bottle fed, I had to do it sometimes too and if I'd had no milk I would have, and everything would have been fine. It was just a choice) (breastfeeding, the most natural thing on the planet earth seems to be a point of contention with some, either way is fine for whoever) 

Laid in the bed with my grandmother for 4 days till she took her last breath. She watched me come in; I stayed till she went out. 

Wait till you have grandies. Here she came, another one sleeping on my shoulder till she was 5! 

 

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Estella
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@soup I was bottle-fed so I chose to breastfeed to rebel against my mother, who asked me if I was a cow. The more she disapproved of it, the more determined I was to do it - even if that meant reading volumes on human lactation. 😝😂

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soup
 soup
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@estella When I did it no one was. It was considered gross and weird. There was no place to go if you were out except a nasty restroom. 

I was in a restaurant one time for lunch with my girlfriends. He was really crying. I covered him with a receiving blanket and started to feed him. Completely covered. Woman at the next table had something to say. My girlfriends (both Cancers, took her face off her head) 

I would never be one to plop a boob out for the world to see, I am way too modest for that, but if you have to feed your child, you just have to. The woman that made the remark said, why don't you leave it with a sitter? 😳 

Well, I couldn't. He was on demand every hour to hour and a half at the time. Which meant the kid was attached to me and I had about 30 minutes to go if I was going. No one could watch him because (A) he wouldn't stay without screaming like he was dying (B) the feeding and (C) I didn't want to leave him. 

If that happened today no one would have a chance to say something to that lady, I would. It would be, shut your mouth (expletive) then I would tell her all about herself. Damn I let a lot of people trample all over me. 

My mother had a lot to say about it too, but it was mostly because I was so thin. She would say that kid is feeding the life out of you. But no matter what anyone said, I was diligent. Your babes let you know when they are done. I can't believe something that is meant to be, that you are made for, is so controversial. Jesus. A woman's body is literally designed to do this. It is supposed to do this. But here we are. 

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