Just throwing this in....
I do think you can see the mom or dad energy in a birth chart. I mean, we are who we are and that is neither good nor bad. It is just...who we are.
Elsa took one look at my birth chart over a decade ago and said, you were born to be a mother. And if you look at it, it's there and it's true. When my boys were little, I used to hold them and smell their little heads and think they were the meaning in my life. I also knew I would be a mother when I was a very small child. I remember standing up to my own mother when she was acting like shit and saying when I grow up, I will never do this in front of my baby. I was 6 years old.
But I want to express something clearly without sounding bitter or weird or ungrateful for the people in my life. If I could go back knowing exactly what I know to be the truth, right now.... I would absolutely NEVER have children. I don't care what my birth chart says. I would purposely not have them. I made sure I was sterilized by age 25. If I could go back, I would insist that be done as soon as I could legally get someone to do it. (it was rare and hard to do when I was 25)
Motherhood is hard AF. A very hard job with few thanks. A total sacrifice. You are giving to anyone and everyone before you even get a bite of food. There is no rest from it, not a day in your life. You don't outgrow. There is no relief from it.
Be prepared to give everything you have, all your, time, talent, energy and whole life to it if you are going to do it correctly knowing that your partner is not going to do the same. Not to the extent you will.
Grandchildren are magical... a true check and balance but it is brief.
I say this while you all know I would step in traffic and give my life to my family on instinct and without hesitation. But I do not recommend it, nor would I ever do it again. It fucking hurts.
So, if they skip it, I do not blame them. This, coming from a person born to be a mother.
@soup I don't doubt you at all. I know MANY women disillusioned with mothering; men as well. But it makes me wonder how this was orchestrated.
And if those who are truly designed for mothering, opt out, where does that leave us as a species?
This is my personal feeling, though it's damned well backed up with facts. This sounds like a hijack, in this way:
It makes no sense, a person designed for a purpose would derive no (or little, or not enough) pleasure from it.
I hope you get what I'm saying. It's not at all personal. It just makes no sense to me and I mean ZERO sense.
Again, I understand why you feel this way, you've made it clear and it's logical. My premise here is that outside forces makes up dissatisfied with everything. Ourselves, our bodies, each other.
Also, consider this. Let's say you skipped having children... and now you are in your 30's, 40's, baby clock, thundering. You see someone holding a baby and you spontaneously begin to cry. Surely you've seen women go through this. If not, I assure you, it's true. So the grass may look greener on the other side?
This is what I expect to see more of, going forward, unless they can get enough hormone /hormone disrupters into people... which I think they will do, truth be told.
But in my world, this means robbing a person of their true essence, by many different methods.
See, I just don't think God f's up. And I don't thing we are created to suffer either.
@elsa for me it has been loving so true and so deep that I forgot about myself. I literally forgot to take care of myself.
And anyone who has had a kid knows if not all at least one of them turn out to be an ungrateful asshole. Or crazy. Or a liar. And the parent gets blamed.
You've given the inside of your body which in my case was life or death having both of them. Your body destroyed, even nerve damage that is unfixable. Give of yourself with the purest love and the best intentions. Get a teenage fucking nightmare. Kid goes off the reservation and you are standing there thinking... what just happened? I literally had a kid in my face telling me what 'he' was going to do. HA. I put my foot down. You will not drive drunk. You will go to school. You will follow the rules. Kid moved out and into a home where he was not wanted (with dad/stepmom) and destroyed his GPA in less than a semester ruining the next 10 years of his own life and I not only had nothing to do with it, I could not stop it, help or fix any of it.
Some people have that kid that climbs on a rooftop and does the unthinkable and they did not cause this.
It's hard. I mean, you better have the kind of unconditional love that runs so deep you will open a vein for someone. Because parenthood is not for sissies. And then I see all the people talking about what a piece of shit mom was, and they haven't spoken to her in 5 years or 30. I can't talk to my mother because of it throws off my mental health. Oh ffs. Really. She carried your fat ass in her body for 9 months, you not knowing the REAL sacrifice she made to keep you going and it's that easy. I just won't talk to mom.
I throw this in the mix.......... our senior population is treated like trash for the most part. I would have personally picked shit with the chickens to keep my grandparents out of a nursing home but as you can see.... they are filled to the brim, and no one visits. Those people gave their life to their family, and no one has the time to do shit for them.
Why would anyone go through it? This is what I see, right now. Let someone else take care of them. Out of sight, out of mind. In this country, it is the worst. All these too busy for anyone else people.... mawmaw has been waiting by the window in the nursing home for 2 months for someone to stop by and she will get that obligation visit at Christmas or Easter. Not everyone will care for their parents like you and the soldier do, or like I did....
He is sick himself and goes daily to take care of mom. I know you took care of your mother. We did the same. Grandparents died at home. But this is not the norm. Why would anyone want to make the sacrifice and get such an end result?
@soup I totally understand. I see the same things and most the women I know, feel exactly the same way you do.
My husband even says, he would not have kids today, unless he lived off-grid.
@elsa When I read about him going in yet again, another day, and he has heart failure, and he has no appetite...He is sick. It's heartbreaking to read it. And I know you are worried. I read what you say, and I know you are telling the real truth. He goes in to take care of his mother. This is unheard of today.
I read every story of how you worked sometimes two jobs to keep your mother going, to provide for her. I know you did this.
And the nursing homes are full of parents that no one gives a rat's ass about. They are living, but not alive.
I have had this conversation with my husband. It is the one thing I truly cannot stand about him. He refuses to speak to his parents. They had two kids. Sent him to private school. He lived in a very nice home. But he didn't like the way his mom spoke to him. I listened to this story and said.... really? She did all that shit for you, but you didn't like her tone? Or that she made you come in at curfew as a teen? Really? Now she is suffering a life sentence because you are a petty asshole. You know I said that to him. I stopped arguing with him about it but be sure I made a special note in my brain that he is the kind of person that will not help his parents.... what does this mean for me? What if I become a burden? Oh, I am watching. I told him in no uncertain terms he sounded like a pussy to me. Not solid. I like solid.
There are too many selfish people unwilling to give back what they were given. With half assed excuses that are hard for me to swallow.
@soup thank you. He is on week 138-ish and it is gnarly and getting worse by the day. And yes, he's ill and it's not new.
Hopefully, his mother will slow her roll, once this Mutable stuff clears.
My premise here is that outside forces makes up dissatisfied with everything. Ourselves, our bodies, each other.
This makes me think about how we’ve lost touched with the essence of being a woman/man.
At some point in time there were initiations and ceremonies honoring key moments in men/women’s lives. It emphasized the importance of our roles in society or amongst your tribe.
There were elders to pass down important knowings. People were grounded and connected more intimately to each other.
Without something similar maybe that’s why the need to expand or give birth is lacking?
Has this made us so out of bounds that are bodies are suffering as a side effect?
@bar-in-the-sky There were elders to pass down important knowings. People were grounded and connected more intimately to each other.
This is so deep and beautiful. Thank you for writing these words. This is the real truth.
@bar-in-the-sky Oh wow. What you said about rituals and ceremonies. That’s so true. Rites of passages. The tests, the honor of being recognized as a member. What do people do anymore? It doesn’t even have to be a big ordeal. Just something significant.
I love my childless life.
@belladonna it's definitely not for everyone. My mother is a good example of this, though I am glad she had me!
@elsa too many people become parents that shouldn't be... so while I take a lot of social hits for being a childless woman, I think my choice is admirable.
@belladonna So true. My oldest stepsister just never wanted children and to this day she is not sad about her decision. She said knowing she didn't want them was weighed against societal expectations. And that it was not popular when she made the decision, but she knows it was the right decision. She said knowing that I didn't want that... I would have set myself and some children up for failure and I was not willing to do that. I admire her decision.
@soup yes I am from the deep south and I've lived in Latin Am. It's always the question. People don't realize what a microaggression it is. Exhausting.
I've never wanted children. Everyone said that would change... it didn't.
It's hard to silence outside noise, but I'm comfortable against the grain.
Oh and I'd actually be a great mom, a fantastic mom. I know that.
I've always said if I become wealthy enough, maybe I'd adopt one child. But reproduce, not interested.
Interestingly too, those that judge me are often the most envious... in bad/complicated marriages and take on everything. They envy my freedom.
I agree with everything you said. I never wanted children, parenting never interested me, I even rejected baby dolls as toys as a child. My mothering instincts have always been directed toward animals, and in nurturing the men I've loved, all of whom were older, smarter, stronger.
If I'd ever wanted to raise a child I'd have adopted one rather than manufacture a new one when there are already so many languishing in foster care. Same as I feel about breeding pets rather than adopting when millions are put down annually.
From a spiritual perspective, Dolores Cannon has mentioned that there have been influxes of souls incarnating who do not have children on the earth plane to avoid collecting additional karma to their consciousness. That is, the focus, whether they are conscious of it or not, is developing their consciousness so that they can keep ascending their spirit with each incarnation. I recently read that souls that are very engrossed in the material realm while on earth have great difficulty letting go of it when in spirit, that in fact, it leads to souls acting out the 3D activities and tasks in spirit repetitively, and thus slows their adaptation to the spirit world. Which, once you are in spirit and see what's available in terms of that existence, makes the soul very frustrated and stuck. Interesting to think about.
I can relate to the karma idea. If there's such a thing as eternal rest, how can one ever rest after having left something behind here that keeps perpetuating more lives with heaven knows what results?
that is interesting...
although my head is thinking it doesn't make sense ...
because there's so much karma since the birth of man and even since the bible.
i think personally it's just women are afraid of bringing children into this world,
and, most want their children to have at least the same quality of life that they do, and the globalists and socials have reduced the quality of life of people in the first world and are reducing the number of kids they have...even 3rd world countries..
Has this made us so out of bounds that are bodies are suffering as a side effect?
I personally feel we're indoctrinated in whatever way is useful in the moment. If more bodies are needed, people are steered in that direction. Have babies! If otherwise, than otherwise.
If information is needed, allow people to blog and thrive... until you have you AI models.
If coders are needed... "learn to code" is a thing... along with all the autism, breed autists?
Done with coding? Lay them off.
Basically, humans are captured. Needs change over time. Right now, I think far fewer people are needed.. clearly, just look at the layoffs and yes. I mean, needed for work and needed for life in general. People will die, because of this, both directly and indirectly, which matter to almost no one.
And why is that? I've already explained.
Here's a way to think about it - just to get around some blocks.
Animals mate. They form packs, etc. Hunt or whatever. What they don't do is get obsessed with sex or their appearance. See what I mean?
We are socialized to think sex is the biggest thing in the world. We are socialized / seduced into addiction. May as well be a lion in the zoo, being fed only fans, I mean food pellets.
We are also socialized to hate ourselves, which would be glaringly obvious and goes deep to the bone... it's not obvious because it can't be spoken about by anyone who understands it. And I mean, it eludes people, completely, including me, until it didn't.
@elsa It’s also as if we’re all in boxes with our needs taken care of and we watch each other (the zoo) and since challenges offered to many are not really challenges at all, we decay.
But the usefulness you brought up…that’s keen. I see that but you put it into words.
@allie120 everyone is supplied a hero... and when the veil drops, another hero and so forth.
The heroes are now in clusters. It makes you think your have this comfortable circle of "friends".
Ha ha. Too bad they don't exist.
@allie120 also, it's like we are ALL useful idiots, pointing at the other guy,
I tip my hat to these f'ers!
@elsa yeah…it’s a good reminder. I fall all the time but I feel like I see it more than I did.
Every living creature except humans live by natural instincts. We, with our free will and abstract intellect, complicate everything. Nature is brutal, but as we've removed much of that sort of brutality, we've absurdly replaced it with grotesque new varieties.
@warped yes! Leave a person alone, their heart and their hormone will lead the way.
Instead, children are hijacked from birth.
May as well be a lion in the zoo, being fed only fans, I mean food pellets.
I absorbed what you said completely but this stands out!
@bar-in-the-sky thank you. And good. Because that is the tip of the iceberg, right there.