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Baby clock

Elsa
Posts: 2638
 Elsa
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Joined: 19 years ago

I spoke with someone today, overwhelmed by the power of a baby clock when it starts to tick. I know some women blow by this but many don't. For some, it's so loud, it takes your life over. It was like that for me. Stunning.

What's you experience with this? How old were you when you first heard your baby clock ticking? What transits were in play?

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dolce
Posts: 174
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Joined: 15 years ago

Have babies!! Do it young if you can! But don't put it off if you feel it. The baby clock is no joke.

For me it was age 28 - Saturn return. Although I always wanted marriage and babies, that was when it became my main focus after realizing I was living a prolonged adolescence and was "running out of time." Thank you Saturn for the reminder on time. Before that, the future seemed so far away. Then suddenly I was in it, and not where I wanted to be.

And then time just started flying and realized that I would most likely need literally all of that time to really get to know someone I could marry. I was a little frantic. I would do math in my head - I'd need x amount of years with someone (and what if it didn't work out?!?! Then I'd have to start over, older!!), then this amount of time for a baby, etc. Even days and months seemed to be ticking by too quickly for my objective. And how many children would I even be able to have since I waited so long? And will any man want me now that I am ready for a baby just as much as a husband?

It was a rough place to be. My family would make gentle comments and suggestions on how to meet someone, all the while giving me noticeably sympathetic looks. I hated it. I wasn't unhappy in general, but wow did that upset me. And it does get harder to meet someone new, the older you get. (That's why I romanticize high school sweethearts.)

In the end, I fortunately wound up with a much shortened timeline than I'd imagined after I met my husband because we were both just ready for it.

And fortunately I found a great husband and had children, even at a somewhat later age, and although I am old for babies, I'm having a fourth now. If I could go back I'd have started young and just kept having children. Pregnancy at this age is a lot harder - the 20s must be amazing for it. I wish I could have more after this one, but my body is having a rough go of it, and is it really fair to a child to be so old when it's born? I don't know, but I'm basically at my cut off date now. I want to be around for my children, and youthful enough for them, and I wish that they could have their grandparents for as long as I had mine. My grandmothers were 17/18 when they had their first babies, and became grandmothers around my age!

It's so important to have our families together and strong, and that's my main take away from my experience - family is not only good for our children, but good for our communities. The longer we wait to have them, the less time we all have together, and we lose focus on what's most important in life when we denigrate children as "expensive" or "tiring" as the media is wont to do. Additionally, biology rules - we can wait, but going against biology isn't always best.

I did not mean to write a book, but this was something so huge for me in my life. Elsa, I hope your client has her family soon!

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Libra Noir
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Joined: 12 years ago

This happened to me when I was 38, I’m 40 now. I felt this overwhelming urge to have a child. I kinda looked around and dated but only met men who owed massive amounts of child support already, had several baby mamas, were unstable or werent interested in engaging with my son. I wasn’t going to let myself get caught in another situation like I have with my ex. I don’t want to raise another child on my own. So, I’m 40 now and that might be that. I’m still open to it with the right person but it’s too important to make concessions about. 

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Midara
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Joined: 15 years ago

I started feeling it a few years ago. It was like I hit 30 and everything changed. My heart ached. My stepson was growing up and there was no place to put all that motherly love. 

But I knew that I would have trouble conceiving naturally, and am not in a financial position to try IVF or other alternatives. And realistically, I am not in a good place in my career.

I ended up getting a dog. I CERTAINLY don't mean to suggest it's a one-to-one comparison, but my little fuzzball gives me an outlet for my nurturing instincts and allows me to focus on guiding my stepson as he grows into the coolest teenager ever. <3

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Midara
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Posts: 14

Also, since I am the primary earner in my family, I knew I would have to go back to work very quickly, and that's not something I think I would be emotionally capable of doing. 

As far as the astrology goes, Saturn was transiting conjunct my Neptune. I had to find a way to ground my dreams and yearnings in what was actually possible. 

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Libra Noir
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Joined: 12 years ago

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@midara That was another reason that I didn’t have another. I decided that if I was going to have another child, that I would absolutely want to be able to be a stay at home mom and not have to worry about making a living. I’ve had such a hard time leaving my son to work, it was actually a really deep thing to deal with having to leave your child in the hands of another. Gut wrenching for me honestly and it seemed to hurt my son too. It sounds dramatic but it really is. I think it’s actually a collective wound (mothers having to leave their children to work) that has not been acknowledged, much less addressed. In fact I think it’s probably the most important social issue of our time, because it affects most of the population and is so archetypal in nature (the seperation of child and mother- can’t get much more archetypal than that- and on a mass scale, well...).

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night_owl13
Posts: 27
(@night_owl13)
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Joined: 15 years ago

I'm going to fly by this one. I'm 35 this year and I can't imagine ever wanting a baby. The very idea fills me with dread and nausea. I consider fertility a massive burden!

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PurpleStarGirl
Posts: 164
(@purplestargirl)
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Joined: 8 years ago

Sometimes I think I want children but it really scares me. I have an empty Pisces fifth house so it's not my priority in life, plus my Moon and Venus are in Aquarius so I'm not thrilled with actually having them. It's a romanticized version. 

I'd rather have pets.

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