I don't have identity crises. I pretty much am who I am- zany, weird, out there. I own all of it. I think my crises revolve around traveling. I go backpacking for a couple months in some random countries... and then erasing my old life, and starting over again. I'm still the same person. I just crave different environs. I guess I keep thinking that if I start fresh enough times, something will click for me.
Therapy is probably the answer, and when I have $$ coming in again... It is right back to therapy with me!
I will say, though. I did have trouble eating, and still do go through sort of involuntary anorexic phases, where I just don't eat. I drop to like 120ish at 5'10" (I have no business being THAT thin, but I don't like it and I don't do it purposefully). Strangely? I adore food... I am true blue to my Venus in Taurus. I'm not entirely sure what it's about... but I've gone days without eating anything significant.
Identity crises like you don't know who you are or why you do the things you do. Like when I was in the hospital I decided I was dead set on becoming a detective because I kept watching crime shows. I started reading the local college catalog picking out classes and everything once I got out, WTF WAS I THINKING?? I hate blood!
Oh and for a while I HATED green. Then I decided neon green was my favorite color after letting everyone know around me how much I hated it and walked around with neon green acrylic nails for weeks. Now I DESPISE colorful nails and stick to basic French.
My best friend(also BPD) only wore colorful things until I moved in then she started wearing black and grey mostly like me. Then I started wearing colorful things. We joke about it all the time now. Oh and there was the time we started a band, had an amazing marketing plan and everything. Forgotten.
Also every new boyfriend brings out a personality change.
You are an inch taller than me. 120 is considered underweight. When someone over5'8 is 120 it looks like 105 on anyone else.
I can deal with involuntary anorexia but this past phase is like binging and purging it was horrible I went up to 135 from 122 in 2 weeks I was beyond horrified. I am now 130. I just want to stay 125. My face looks good in photographs that way and hides my deformed chin and strong jaw. F&()ing Saturn on ASC.
Backpacking will do that. There is nothing abnormal about becoming one with the world. In all honesty if you travel to another country one should follow the culture definitely.
Great thread.
The Cluster B Personality Disorders are a little contradicting. They overlap and often co-occur with other cluster B’s and co occur or mimic other mental health diagnoses. Borderline can mimic PTSD for example, or ADHD. Cluster B’s are the “overly dramatic” or “overly emotional” disorders. They basically all stem from lack of nurture or a healthy, loving and supportive upbringing. To me, it makes sense that males and females will express the “lack of” differently due to social expectations and just nature…
One of my previous coworkers posted this today. It’s interesting. See all the overlap?
https://imgur.com/a/cxLuZ4C
@sirena-oceana this is one of the more helpful diagrams I’ve seen on the internet. I researched a lot after my dx (BP 2 )
@acerolabvndtcake she’s an LCSW, PHD. She created this diagram herself. It’s a good one. Her message with the picture was ”Today's lesson: not everything that looks and sounds and smells like a borderline is one, and even if they are, it shouldn't be an insult. These and countless others are byproducts of trauma. Period. Not moral shortcomings.”
I have similar symptoms and experiences. Not formally dx yet lol oh but they tried to. Said I was schizo and everything. I just rolled with it. Meh. That’s Florida for ya.
@elsa I traveled across the country once. The jokes were non stop ( I was at a military base so there)
otherwise I might not have the perspective
@acerolabvndtcake it can't be put into words. It's the most confounding thing. I feel it and my mind says, wth? Talk about a baseless feeling.
@elsa your mind ain’t wrong! Sometimes I think my plane crashed on the way back! Lol. What the purgatory!