(((allie120)))

I admire your strength and patience and hope it all improves soon! 

Thank you, Warped. Part of it is something I did.

Anyway, enough about me. It would be sad for a woman who divorces in her 50's if she has to start over: financially, materially, emotionally, support-wise. 

On the other hand, it might be just what she needs in her life. Not to take it lightly. I don't mean that. But maybe to correct what she or they had done wrong for so long. She might come to a point in her life where being without a spouse may be more satisfying and her life path. 

Never a decision to take lightly, though. 

allie120 said

  It would be sad for a woman who divorces in her 50's if she has to start over: financially, materially, emotionally. 

So do men.

So true.  I knew a couple in their 60's -- she was horribly abusive to her long-suffering husband.  When asked, he said he should have left years earlier, but it was too late now -- financially -- for him to start over.  Compromises.

Also knew of a couple in their late 80's who divorced, an ugly battle even at that age.

Oh yes. It is true for men as well.

allie120 said
It's ok, Elisa! I vacillate between complaining/venting and just shutting up about it. My husband's an amazing provider and a better father to his kids than when they were growing up. I believe people can break the cycles. I do. The brothers all REVERE my FIL. And I understand that. He was their father, the only father they knew. He had mellowed a lot when I first met him. An intelligent man. His mother had the same nasty temperment, though.

We're going through something tough now. He's not the easiest person to have relationships (work, personal) with, a consensus shared by many. I wish he had more guy friends to play poker or fish with.

I just discovered he is an 8H sun and Mercury. Cut a bitch with his tongue? Hell yeah. Harsher than some Scorpio natives I know. And believe me, I can't be any special treat, with my Uranus-Pluto-moon right up there in my 1H, Uranus conjunct my AC. 

i read around here that neptune is kicking people's butts. for me, i have exams coming up so i'm really anxiety ridden. (for an online course, so online studying) so i feel stressed. Alot has happened last year with family too, but we just keep going forward you know?

so i'm glad you're pulling through. with whatever you all are going through.(((Allie)))  My mother has a Scorpio mercury natally, so i know what a cut up a bitch is, but she is very loving though, very easily sensitive and hurt easily so we try to make life easier for her when we're around her at home. she is a very giving and generous, and i couldn't have asked for a better mother. The type that will be there for you to the very end, through thick and thin. My husband has sag merc, so it comes off a bit more like an aries merc, except not as arrogant. lol My ex had an aries merc natally so i know how that feels. Very humble man but he came off arrogant because he was so smart and felt like a know-it-all when he really was opposite of arrogant. It's irony like that. you're given gifts of something that comes out as opposite. Like how a charming man woos and wiles you to giving up your goods/bank account and you feel he is so nice he could never do that.

Anyway, it's their actions, that prove more worth, to me, than a few harsh words. You have to be super tough to hold up against alot, and i feel you're a tough cookie. Good luck with whatever it is going on with your relationship this year, you all will pull through!!

Warped by Wuthering Heights said
So true.  I knew a couple in their 60's -- she was horribly abusive to her long-suffering husband.  When asked, he said he should have left years earlier, but it was too late now -- financially -- for him to start over.  Compromises.

Also knew of a couple in their late 80's who divorced, an ugly battle even at that age.

omg. at 80? by that time, people usually don't care and live away from eachother if they can't tolerate. and at the old folks homes. (our grandmothers moved to the nursing home in their 80s, and our grandfather's died a decade before them). And plus they don't get buried together because the hate is too strong. So i would imagine they put it in their will. Or perhaps they can't stand the thought of being together so much on legal paper so they had to cut it off before death.