I am super-Marsy and working on not pursuing in the dating realm. It's hard for me to hold back because my natural instinct is to just go for it. He's shy? No problem! What are we waiting for? Fine, I'll do it!
I'm often the one doing the heavy lifting in all my interactions platonic included...because I'm a chatty Marsy extrovert.
I'm interested in a guy who is different from my past and seems like a genuinely nice guy. I thought he seemed attracted to me, too. We exchanged numbers some time ago, but nothing transpired. Let's say attraction isn't the problem; then he's either got too much going on, is seeing someone, or too shy.
I still see him regularly because he works where I frequent; that's how we met. I just got back into town after being gone for a bit, and when we chatted about my absence, I still felt like he's attracted and that maybe he's just super shy. Of course, I could be wrong.
Can shy guys be worth waiting for? Or it's a waste of time because if he's not going to pursue then we've got nothin'?
I don't want to BE the heat-seeking missile, but I am also glad I've met an intelligent person who seems genuine. (Yes, my history is bad.)
Or it's a waste of time because if he's not going to pursue then we've got nothin'?
Do you absolutely know he is not involved with anyone? Does he signal attraction in some way?
Generally, people who are passive, do not turn into raging inferno. Could it be you're into the challenge?
Just throwing out questions in case it helps clarify this.
@elsa I do not absolutely know, no. Could be as simple as that but yes, he's definitely seemed attracted.
Could be the challenge on an unconscious or sub-level perhaps...
I think if I knew he was for sure single though would help matters... I wouldn't be interested then if he's not.
Maybe that's it. He's got someone, but it would be awkward to mention since you aren't overtly inviting him anywhere.
I'd rather know, even if that means ultimately being rejected@belladonna Yes! Because if he's taken, you'll be liberated from this and look elsewhere!
Question, is it better to ask subtly but directly if he's single?
Or, see if he has advice about an upcoming holiday or wants to do something for it?
@belladonna hard to say, because I don't know the tone of the conversation. One thing that occurs to me, in the future, you'll want to find this out, before you invest and dream him up?
I'm sorry, I just don't have a good answer.
I would just ask him! There is no shame in showing that you are interested in him and if the feeling is mutual - then you are already two steps ahead of the game! And if not, well, I’m sure he will feel flattered and you will know where you stand!
I asked my now husband on a date because I thought there was chemistry- I do not think he would have ever asked me out- we’ve been together for 14 years now and he admits he probably would have not asked me out!
@bar-in-the-sky Thanks!! Would just ask him if he's single or ask him out?
And, why wouldn't your husband not have asked you out? Too shy??
@belladonna ask him both! Are you seeing any one? Would you like to go out on a date?
sometimes I think guys just don’t think - like he would have been fine if we just kept talking…
We had an amazingly great first date and we have been together ever since!
sometimes I think guys just don’t think - like he would have been fine if we just kept talking…
haha see that's so hard for me to understand! I have a ton of Aries. What sign is your husband?
I like your advice though thank you!