Losing Confidence (The 11th House)

Last night my husband and I were talking about losing confidence. What a sick feeling it is when you have doubts you can do something you’ve done many times.

He specifically mentioned burning on on a jump once. Something when wrong with his parachute and he fell to the ground, breaking bones.  The next time he was up in a plane and supposed to jump… well you can imagine.

I have a job that requires a lot of confidence and it occurs to me that I take my confidence for granted though I’ve no reason to. I’ve certainly lost my confidence at various times, not necessarily professionally but most definitely in relationships with others. Basically if someone has a lot of complaints about me, what I say or what I do, I withdraw no matter how I feel about them. I just don’t believe in forcing myself on someone. I’m probably one of the easiest people to get rid of you’ll ever meet.

The 11th house rules confidence, have you ever lost yours?  If so, did you get it back?  How?

29 thoughts on “Losing Confidence (The 11th House)”

  1. I have had many times of losing my confidence…though when it comes back, it is stronger and more comfort to have.I honor myself and my inner guidance with it all. give myself a hug and “good job” once in a while.

  2. Wow..I’m dealing with this right now…faltering confidence in my authority, is how I’d best put it.
    I want to withdraw, but circumstances won’t allow. As a strategy, I keep telling myself this is temporary. Lately I have to eliminate distractions and will myself to be calm every time I enter a burning building, because holding back is not an option.

  3. I lost my self confidence when I was laid off from work in Dec. 2004. I was too much invested in the job and too little in who I am as a person.

    I did get it back by consistently making honorable decisions based on my personal belief system. Using my Saturn basically. 😉

  4. Oh, sure! Lots of times. I think there’s a societal or family thing to it – seems like when it’s a girl/daughter, family will step in and say “Don’t do that again!” And boys, they say, “Buck up, and just do it!” (At least that’s the way it was in my family, and with friends of mine as well.)
    The one time I was never told to stop doing something that I had failed at, was when I fell off a horse. I can remember as a kid, crying my eyes out after falling off and hurting myself, and my family putting me right back up on the pony even tho I was howling.
    Sometimes even when you’re scared to death, ya gotta walk thru it. And when you do, it’s the most amazing feeling. When I can remember to push my way through any fears/lack of confidence, I’ll do it.
    And yep, 40+ years later, I’m still riding a horse that’s as full of piss and vinegar as I am.
    (Not falling off as much, thank God.)

  5. 🙁
    Saturn is squaring my confidence, starting with sun and moving on to mercury and mars

    Probably didn’t have it to lose. Others may see me as confident though, depending on the situation.

  6. Sun/Mercury on 11th… unfortunately or luckily squaring 1st Pluto and 7th P.Fortune… one day ill manage perfectly through this 2 negative aspects on my behalf. The good thing is there are plenty of positive aspects (well easy is not always good right?)… anyway 11th is where the finger of god points too, now i know y, what ever my situation is, i always end with a positive confidence that no matter what happens, the end will be nicely justified by its means, and i know it will be good somehow.

    Mercury on the 11th is also the my chart ruler… endless hope?

  7. Cap is on the cusp of my 11th house and it holds Jupiter which is sextile to my moon natally.

    (btw, it took me about a half hour to put that sentence together..lol..but at least this stuff isn’t a COMPLETELY foreign language now. Although, I ran a Davison Relationship chart yesterday from astro.com and was like “wow..i’m so not there yet)

    What’s this thread about? oh yeah.

    My confidence is like a pendelum. When I got it goin on, I GOT IT GOIN ON! I have never had any trouble speaking publicy or performing in front of large or small crowds. My problems with confindence are purely internal. I often rank myself as not good enough and question “are they laughing with me or at me?” In dealing with others, my confidence is much higher if I am allowed to have that public persona (performance face) versus having to be absolutely myself on a personal level with someone due to fear of rejection or ridicule.
    Ridicule being the biggie there…

    But as far as confidence in areas OUTSIDE of relationship issues, I’m not afraid to try anything. I never have been. And my lucky Jupiter usually finds me falling on my feet while Cap allows me the stick-to-itiveness to keep at it until I’m successful. Actually..thank goodness for Jupiter because sometimes my cap is so confident in areas outside of relationships i do some pretty dumb things “knowing” there is nothing to fear (overconfidence can be dangerous).

    I am really liking what I’m finding in regards to Jupiter sextile moon natally..

  8. i have, and i’d say it was something that evolved over a period of time… but ultimately it was deconstructed and it took a very long time for me to reconstruct

    how? i guess there is a deep self love somewhere in there… never lost faith. i also moved 3,000 miles away to a city i had dreamt of living in my whole life… not only did a clean slate give me a foundation to reconstruct my life on… my confidence and belief in myself slowly, but solidly started to build

  9. Natal Saturn in Cap 11th house. Experienced it a couple of days ago. Combine the current transits with the situation I lost my confidence for one day. The next day, I figured out the why’s amd proceeded to write a lot more. I learnt something about them and myself.

  10. Boohoo. The ruler of my 11th is jacked by aspect, it opposes the planet sitting in my 11th.

    Nobody accused me of an excess of confidence so I won’t be going door to door anytime soon.

  11. Uranus in the 11th -ruler of the 2nd- with the moon in the 2nd… uh, yeah.

    When I really, really want something I’ve always been able to accomplish it, but my confidence consistently wavers from one extreme to the other. Sucks.

  12. Hmmm…

    placisdus puts my sun in the 11th 16 pisces sextile to my mars 16 taurus in 12th both inconj. my Uranus in 6th at 17 libra. Also have merc in 11th at 1 aries.

    if equal houses merc 1 aries and venus
    29 aries in 11th..

    guess if I could get a handle on what I think of my self confidance I might actually get which house system to use 🙂

  13. I feel as though sometimes I have absolutely no confidence whatsoever, in situations that I should be confident about. I didn’t know the 11th house ruled confidence. This gives me something new to chew on! 🙂

  14. I’ve got Pluto in Leo and my conjunct Mars / Saturn in Cancer all in H11. Not sure how that plays out… I have all trines from my Pluto (tho only to Neptoon and Uranus) and a load of squares, oppositions and trines from my Mars/Saturn – H11 is v busy!

    I’m a weird mix of steady self-confidence within myself (not sure where it came from but I’ve almost always had it) and a certain degree of funk in public – usually about putting my talents out there, esp my writing talent. I didn’t get published til I was over 50.

    But friends always remarked that I had total self-confidence with men – I’ve never been afraid to go for / treat with *the* Alpha male in any scenario. I’ve enjoyed conquering new social scenes too, since I was about 19 and learned I could

    My biggest losses of confidence have been after losing a man I really cared for, and after professional reverses. In either case, I’ve handled that by not losing faith in my core self and my talents and qualities – sometimes I’ve wavered but always so far been able to pick myself up and stand up to my full height! I’m a great believer in distinguishing between what’s about me, and what’s about them

  15. i have lost my confidence a few times in life–threats to my physical safety usually is the culprit. i am dealing with this right now–for me, it is GET BACK IN THE SADDLE.

    like, as soon as humanly possible…the more/longer i leave it, the scarier it gets. i just have to DO IT.

  16. I became social phobic due to various things, when I was in school, and it took me a long time to improve, mainly because I was so isolated, and became agoraphobic for years. I have Pluto in the 11th, opposed by Jupiter and squared by Saturn; also trined my Moon, Venus and South Node, and it’s the ruler of my chart.

    I held onto my confidence in other ways, though, such as with my art, or when I started to exercise, and to feel good about myself physically – to finally start to feel comfortable in my own skin again. I had enough to get myself out of situations in which I was uncomfortable, and to say, “I don’t need this.” The bullying and after-effects of being assaulted by an adult man, amongst other things that led to PTSD, changed me. I had trouble associating myself with the self-confident little girl who was ready to take on the world. I was fine with people who loved me, but amongst others, my personality would disappear. A part of my recovering my personality and confidence, was looking at photos of myself up to the age of ten/eleven, and reminding myself of who I was – that that little girl wasn’t born to shrink from the world. (I don’t believe that anybody is, but I was hiding – I’m not thrilled with receiving a lot of attention, positive or negative.)

  17. “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” Marianne Williamson wrote this for Nelson Mandela’s freedom speech

  18. I like that quote about being powerful, but I wonder how true it is. I tend to think that so many of us fear for our security and, down deep, that means being accepted/protected by our tribes, whether it’s families, loved ones, people we’ve chosen as our families. We can’t risk being put out, and distinguishing yourself like the quote says does that. Security wins over happiness, for a lot of people.

    I have a very heavy Aries Saturn in the 6th (work) square Sun/Venus in Cancer in the 9th, also quincunx my Pluto/Uranus in Virgo in the 11th. I wasn’t born with a scrap of confidence. It took about 35 years to earn it through work, and I’m confident there now. But I have that Pl/Ur conjunction there. My coworkers’ security concerns and need to preserve the status quo put us at odds. They don’t share my confidence, and I struggle to tolerate their criticisms for very long. Four years is the longest I’ve kept any job.

  19. I never realized this about confidence and the 11th. I have no planets there but it is in Cancer. When I was younger I had sporadic instances of bold confidence but they were far between each other. As I got older I found if I just dove in, faked it, I could gain confidence. So it’s better now. My 11th ruler is in my first house and it feels like I lean on that. Anyways, if I’m afraid, I try not to think about it, just do it and boom.

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