I had a client this week who went on a six week trip with man, she’s not known all that long. They had a GREAT time. I told her this was a HUGE positive tell. Henry wrote in one of his letters, traveling with a person is the best way to come to know their character.
I’ve heard a similar thing about being stuck in traffic with a person for two hours… stuck in a airport, would be another situation where you might see a person’s shadow emerge? I like travel idea better and I’ll give you a weird example.
Many years ago, I talked my concert pianist boyfriend, who spent his entire life, practicing his playing, to travel to Mexico with me. This mam grew up, privileged, though not in an extreme sense. We were in our twenties; he’d never been in the ocean. If you’ve read my stories, you know how I feel about such a thing, so I was taking him to the ocean, see?
Well, we got to Mexico and he went in the ocean and walked back up on the beach, stating, “It’s salty! This water is salty!”
“Well it’s the ocean,” I said.
“I know it’s the ocean. Is it always salty?”
I was stunned. “Yes. Yes, the ocean is always salty…”
My whole axis tipped with this conversation. I realized he’s been as isolated as I had, in spite of his status. It was a big piece.
This is the kind of thing that happens, when people leave what’s familiar and you’ll love this. This is, Scott, I’m talking about. He moved to Mexico a dozen years ago, with no plans to return.
What strikes me today, is how so much of our life is moved online, where people carefully cultivate their image. You are not dealing with the actual human. I can tell you this for sure, because I put my warts all over this site for nearly twenty-five years. I really, tell it! And still, people are utterly confused about me. So much is communicated, non-verbally. Think about pheromones!
The pictures are personal. This is what I do when I travel. Have fun and talk to locals, that is.
What do you think is the best way to get to know someone?