I blew an emotional gasket, in public, on Tuesday. I’m not kidding you; I lost it in front of about ten witnesses to a degree, I don’t think anyone there will ever forget this or even maybe witness such a thing for the rest of their lifetime(s).
I just don’t think most people have the depth of emotion in them that I do. To replicate this, you’d have to find a person like me and then be there at the right time and right place. There was a moment that the container that I am, burst. Grief.
I’ve recovered sufficiently, today, I decided to look back at the sky at that time. The Moon was at 1 degree Cancer applying in opposition to Saturn retrograde at 2 degrees. OUCH.
I’ve also looked back to try to better understand the whys and hows of the timing. It occurred to me that the right people witnessed this. I was just as aware that some people who care for me deeply were spared witnessing it. I don’t think this was random.
It’s been painful but also productive. I’m pretty sure I pried a locked door open and moved at least halfway into the follow on chamber. From here, I am concerned with not only looking forward – I don’t want to look back, because what’s back there is gone.
Can you relate to any part of this?
Yes I can absolutely relate as I have since monday until this morning cried evey hour for several minutes, because of grief.
Grief about something I really wan’t in my life
Grief about a male friend turning colder and colder and I do not know how to make him warm towards me again,, as in the old days. What did I wrong? Why is he pushing me away?
Also anger. I do not deserve this! I’m one of the bestest of the friends one can have and wish for! His loss! Truly!
But also, how do I fix this? How?!… Yeah I have been a wreck. Rollercoaster of emotions.
Waking up, crying. Goes to bed at midnight, still crying. Any thought at all about him or the other thing I grieve, made me instantly tear up and cry.
Sometimes, silently, a few drops. Sometimes hysterically, as if I was going to die…
Anyways, today I woke up, feling empty instead. I can’t cry at all right now. Odd feeling.. Yap thats moon-saturn for you all..
I hope you are well Elsa, I wish I could have been there for you, to console you… <3
Thank you, melin. I wish I could help you as well.
Sending you good vibes and hugs! <3 <3 <3 Even if its no real help, sorry 🙁
Melin! I am going through almost exactly the same thing since Sunday. I’m so heart-broken, I don’t think I have anything left in me for…anything.
Hugs and <3, Melin. and holding the space for clarity, and love and peace of mind.
Aww Hugs back and good vibes to you! <3 <3 <3
I guess its also this saturn in capri, and Mars in capricorn. I (and maybe you too?) wanted clear structures and clear bounduries about our relationship. Will it be a long standing relationship/friendship? Or is this temporary?
I pushed this question, indirectly, too far I guess.
Also he on the other hand, wanted to push back, also he "putting up boundaries" in his own way. Feels like cold walls, but its his boundaries, I have to respect them I guess. As A plutonic, thats hard! I wanna have a true and foreever bond. Or I will cut him out completely, "kill it".
But thats so hard to do right now, yeah heart broken is the word.
I hope he will let his walls down when Mars goes into aqua, and venus in obsessive scorpio:p
Stay strong MP and Hugs! <3
Friend: “anonymous, remember that time you blew a gasket?”
Me: “Which one? When?”
Sometimes we all need to blow up once in a while. Honestly, I think our society looks down on intensity/anger/emotions too much.
Interesting. I don’t know if I was looked down on. I am pretty sure the prevailing thought was that something happened to me and whatever it was, they sure as hell hope it doesn’t happen them.
Which I understand, of course.
It went all right. Sometimes you have to breakdown to breakthrough.
“Sometimes you have to breakdown to breakthrough.”
Wow.
Oh I get it, but I did it during the pisces full moon. Just got triggered. Spent the whole weekend crying off and on. It was the relief I needed though. I rarely cry, I stuff it so I usually explode once a year.
Got back to my sister, she actually asked if I was ok..I said sure.
Similar outburst of intense emotion. Very disorienting to feel that lack of control in myself.
I have natal Uranus at one degree Cancer in the eighth house.
Chiron currently is conjunct natal Jupiter, squaring natal mars, squaring natal mercury and natal chiron. Saturn stationing direct is conjuncting natal mercury and natal chion exactly, while squaring natal mars and natal jupiter. Old wounds? New wounds? All I know is I’m a festering wound and I want to heal.
I can relate to it all, Elsa.
Can you relate to any part of this?
In my water world it has happened more than once! I hope once you released you felt better Elsa!
My brother lost his job yesterday (out of the blue), and his other means of income last week.
I was just fired from ~my~ job moments ago (out of the blue), and yesterday had written off the last emotionally significant endeavor I had left.
I came here looking for what was going on.
I have natal Cancer Moon and natal Saturn in Cap smack dab in that opposition you mention.
These things (jobs and other endeavors) all had to go to make way for something better. I am choosing to believe that something better lies ahead for both my brother and me. (And you too Elsa.)
Moon in Scorpio in the 1st House.
Every single effin’ day.
Wow. It’s been a while since I went off. I wept, not cried, every day for 7 months when Chiron was opposite my Moon.
I’m sorry for everyone’s struggles there does seem to be an emphasis on friendships lately. I guess all of the retrograde planets this summer set it off.
It’s called a cria! You got it together, you lose yer shit, you feel weird about it, you grow and go with the flow. Congrats!
Elsa I recognize this very well. ((( )))
I was spontaneously combusting on Sunday and Monday and was generally quite emotional during the week. There was so much angst! Totally unlike me. Letting go, healing, detachment seemed almost foreign. But we can try, can’t we? The only hope we have is inside us. Hold onto it Elsa!
Oh yeah relate; done the same
Did a wild bunny dance actually
Hopped up and down arms failing
I actually think I watched myself
From a tree , part of me jumped up in a tree to watch me,got what I wanted. My pet quota has been met
Many moons ago( kids then grandkids) came home to inheritance of a bizarre looking bunny to grandson
Prison camp done no pet cages
I just yesterday popped a nut when I prior
Was handed the statement,
You get paid good for what you do
What? Sorry my skill set and what I get paid is personal chewed on that
Until I don’t know my popping spot
Pow what flew from my mouth
Good thing only half my words
Sound like English
Not only can my mouth roll
My teeth are sharp
Oh well I am who I am, beware
Hope crazy is seasonal
Good girl you can join my club
Exactly.transit saturn conjunction natal moon opposite transit moon conjunction natal saturn.saturn opposition saturn.this has arrived two times.next one is oct 26th 2018.
Yes. I did not blow a gasket, but last week was painful is so many ways. I had to just keep repeating “chill, chill, chill” to maintain my course. Blessings to you.
Not looking back. I can relate to that. I don’t know when I came to that exactly. Some years ago. I think it was part of the process I went through after I bottomed out. It was a matter of forgiving myself. Letting myself be human. Now the past just seems rather boring. And then sometimes great stories come up and we all laugh and that is good.
Now the odd thing with Jupiter in Scorpio, is all this weird stuff comes up in my sleep dreams. Stuff I never think about in my waking hours. It seems to mean so much to me when I am sleeping but I can’t relate to it when I am awake.
I relate. My mother died a week ago. I’m now estranged from a brother who would not allow me to speak, so I kept shouting until I scared him. I’ll have to take a look at my chart. Scorp Sun/Rising, Cap Moon, Pluto square Saturn/Asc., Mars opp Jupiter/MC.
I’m sorry, Prunella. 🙁
My moon is also in Cancer. Saturn is in my 4th house and I’ve got all kinds of messed up Chiron stuff going on. You were not wrong to lose it. Sure it’s a “teacher” but sometimes it can feel like a sadistic, psychopath which is hellbent on totally destroying you. It’s nearly destroyed me. I think of all the opposing signs, Capricorn and Cancer is the worst. As a Sag with a Cancer moon I feel totally robbed of my joy, innocence, optimism, and life force during this transit.