Elsa, your stories amaze and enthrall. Over the years I’ve read your book and random stories of your family. I’m still not sure how the kids lined up while you were at home: Three girls and a boy? Do you have Two older sisters and one younger brother? Did they also stay true to their childhood proclivities? Were your grandfather, other relatives, neighbors or teachers aware of your parents’ abuse and neglect? Thanks for inviting me to ask burning questions.
Reader from Oregon
Thanks for you interest and your kind compliment. My father met my mother when she was fifteen. She lived with, Henry, in a very small town of… maybe two hundred people. She rode a pony to school! She was spectacularly innocent.
As I’ve report all along, my father is handsome. He swept her off her feet. She got pregnant at fifteen; my father was Catholic.
My mother became Catholic to marry him. That’s her picture with my oldest sister. She’s sixteen years old there, married with a baby. You may remember from my, California story, she got thrown out of her inlaws house. This is when that happened!
I seriously don’t think this young girl, raised by, Henry, had it coming. It’s was a two-story house. Family lore describes my Nonna, throwing diapers, over the banister in the house. GET OUT!
My mother and her Scorpio Mars won, though. My, Nonna, died before she ever saw her son again. This is why I tell people not to mess with a pregnant woman. You will not be forgiven!
My mother had three more girls, but one of my sisters died. She was born alive but only lived a couple of days. It’s a bit murky. The baby that died the second eldest. My brother is the youngest. Again, this was a (practicing) Catholic couple so no birth control and it didn’t exist anyway. Five kids in less than eight years.
Did they also stay true to their childhood proclivities?
Yes. Everyone has a very strong personality. None of us are even remotely mixed as to who we are.
Thanks for the question. How’s this for a start? And what’s your family of origin story?
Loved reading this! Thank you for the question and the share!
ui
Wonderful stories! Keep the sharing, Elsa!!!
Not related to your question but the your post triggers a question I have always wondered about and I’m sorry about the loss of your sister. I believe in reincarnation, karma, and the whole idea that we choose our parents and lessons that we will be born into for a particular lifetime for our soul development.. so I have always wondered about the role of the miscarried child misc In families that have miscarriages, have you ever look at the astro chart of that child to see how the chart and its connection to other family members? My mom had multiple miscarriages including twins that were lost very late in the pregnancy. I am sure this had a signficant impact on both of my parents although unspoken. And I guess you would need to know the moment it happened to look at the astro chart.. I believe in the Family Constellation (not related to astro) theory- a therapy that studies family dynamics does consider the miscarriaged child as part of the family dynamics.
I have to think about this, buy my sister was a live birth. She made it home and then died. I have the chart. Sun Jupiter, exact conjunction in Virgo and Moon conjunct Pluto in Leo, both tightly square Saturn in Scorpio.
Virgo Sun/Jupiter, straight to heaven. They named her, Mary, after, “Mary”. So she was here, but not for long.
Oh dear…well, my mother was married before to a man who was financially secure and this was something that my grandfather had hoped for her. She was in love with her high school sweetheart but for whatever reason, she was made to feel it wasn’t right (this is all from my mother, as I never heard any other version).
My mother and her husband at the time couldn’t conceive so eventually they adopted a baby boy. My mother says she was unhappy and felt like she had to be some sort of corporate wife (not her words but that’s my interpretation) and she hated it. Somehow she met my father, who was driving a taxi then, and they became friendly.
Very friendly. Her husband at the time found out and confronted her, driving around looking for her with the baby in the car. My mom says she was so angry at him for driving around looking for her with the baby. (I would never say anything to her but, my thinking was always, well… ya know, Mom…he kinda had a point.)
Fast forward a month or so and Mom finds out she pregnant (with me). So, her soon to be ex flies her down to Mexico for a quicky divorce (so, I guess I’ve been to Mexico!).
My dad goes from playboy to dad mode in a flash. He will marry my mom. My mom says, do NOT do it just because I’m pregnant. I will raise this baby on my own!
But he did want to (he was in love with her for the rest of his life). They got married (and when I was little I didn’t understand why my parents never had wedding pictures around like my friends’ parents). They lived in my paternal grandparents house, as they were in Florida. They were good people. So were my maternal grandparents and family but my grandfather was angry and an uncle smoothed things over.
My mother never got along well with an aunt on my father’s side because I think my mom thought my aunt was hoity toity or something and something was said/misinterpreted and my mom got raging mad and walked out of the holiday. Her version.
Anyway, there was always this weight or heavy veil around me, I felt. I felt as if I was born with this burden or job or task or something. There was always THIS STORY surrounding me. They weren’t mean or blamed me or anything but it was always THERE.
They told me this stuff when I was 11, without me really asking, which is really stupid, I think. But it’s just this thing that I know and really everyone went on with their lives and I had wonderful aunts, grandparents, uncles, cousins. It just always seemed this thing between my mom and I that was always there.
Wow! What a trip!
It is and it’s nice when you finally realize that your parents are just people first, just like me or you or the person driving down the street and especially when you realize this as a young adult so you can just set it down with all the other things you realize.
My mom married my dad at the age of 18 she came from a family of 10 same as my dad but he was 20, just back from serving in WW2. They grew up just living down the road from each other. My Dad a Sag, my mom an Aries totally crazy about my dad. Great as a husband-and-wife team not so much as parents. They lost their first child at birth then went on to having 7 more. Mom died at 56 of a heart attack, stroke. Nine years later, Dad died of a fungus in his lungs, never sick a day in his life before. Just took 5 weeks.
Woah. This is breathtaking. It seems like it all happened in the time it takes to take breath!
Oh wow. ❤️
Now thats not easy, to put it in a few sentences, but I try. My Dad was born 1910, married in his 20s and had a girl, my half sister. He was the 7th of 10 children – and the woman he married was the 4th of 10 children. AND 4 of these 10 children of these two families intermarried. Yeah, thats true.
He was conscripted into the war when my half sister was 7, his wife fell pregnant again at the end of the war but lost the child, it died in utero and she suffered a huge sepsis, survived by never recovered to health.
After the war my Dad set up his business in his hometown. His wife seriously ill, needed constant care. They had met a young woman during the war (she was around the age of my half sister, a bit older) who volunteered at the front and who found her father had committed suicide after the war. She blamed her mother for it (long story) and turned her back on her family of origin, traveled to meet her new family (my Dad’s) and asked to be employed as a carer. They agreed and she cared for my Dad’s wife and became part of the (huge) family, church and all – from 1946 to 1957. Then she fell pregnant, age 35.
Now, everyone knew who the father of this child was, my Dad. He was supposed to ‘confess his sin’ but refused. His wife embraced my mother and the child to be born and forgave him. The only thing important was that ‘the child will stay in the family’. For 3 years they raised me together, then my Mom gave me up for adoption to my Dad and his wife. At the time they were 47 and 46 years old. My Mom disappeared, I was told she will come back one day. I knew that she is my ‘real’ mother. When I was 6, my Dad’s wife died. I hoped that my Mom would come back, but she didn’t.
He married a young Virgo (my Mom was a Scorpio, my Dad a Sag) 28 years younger than him. Everyone told him NOT to do that but I got a 23 year old stepmother. My teenage years fell in line with serious problems in their marriage, they spoke of divorce, my Dad had a long affair with an Aquarius woman (same as my adoptive Mother, also an Aquarius). Still, my stepmom fell pregnant and the divorce was cancelled. I was 15 and being sent to see a Psychologist for being rebellious..lol. He told me to not get involved and sit is out as good as possible. I reconnected with my real Mom and moved out at 17. My Mom was supportive, also some of my aunts, especially that Aries aunt who saved my life a few times.
I maintained a good relationship with my Dad all my life, he passed are 84. My stepmom less so, but we’re still in contact. My Mom spent the last 5 years of her life with me, the passed a few days before her 90s birthday.
I know NO ONE and have never met anyone of my birth mother’s family. They lived behind the iron curtain in East Germany. All I know it what Mom told me and she did not like to talk about her family of origin. In the meantime I have found genealogy entries and interesting info about her family. They belonged to a minority of people from Slovenia who came to live in Germany in the 1600s. They still live there, culture, customs and all.
That’s it, I have a (late) half sister 22 years my senior and a half brother 15 years younger than me. I was born under not so good circumstances but they did their best and it was good enough. Just that I always felt I dropped onto the earth and into this family from space and was supposed to land somewhere else. As long as I can think, my desire was to travel the world and find that place.
Wow, that’s amazing family history!
My mother was 20 and my father 17 when she got pregnant with me the oldest of 2 children. He turned 18 in Dec 17 1973 and they were married Dec 23, 1973. I was born in May 74. His catholic Italian family held this against him his whole life and mine. My mother was not only Irish she was Protestant! Not only that…but this was her second marriage at 20 years old. She married her high school sweetheart at 18 and he died playing Russian roulette or so the story goes. So much prejudice surrounded our little family, I always felt like they were looking at us kids different then the other cousins and their kids..-‘d they were… but my parents stayed together 35 years not that I think they should have, it was hell those first 10-15 dad drank a lot but he worked a lot too. Heavy hard work. He built our house also and provided but other than that he made it clear he wasn’t happy with this situation either. I always felt as if my mom guided him and they grew up together. He died of liver failure at 52 in my moms arms. I was already 35 and he got to meet all his grandkids. He was a much better grandpa then dad. She is Aries He is Sag . They did build a nice life but it was slow and steady but wish he got sober , very stubborn Sicilian.
My mom married my dad after she secretely had a baby, and put her up for adoption. We are Lithuanian BTW. The culture , mostly catholic, in Chicago ‘s Marquette park, had a village of Lithuanians ( Remember 1/3 of Lithuanians were displaced, imprisoned, or killed by Stalin) knew everything about the clan. My mom’s double Scorpio, wove a story, to escape shame, and thru a christian adoption agency postmarked letters to Florida, as she had a 5 month “school trip” while placed in N. Chicago suburbs where she delivered Jill. Whew. My dad knew (and her brother) and didn’t care. Dad wanted to be married, have a job, go to church, and live the suburban dream. 18 years later, Jill got in contact with mom. She had a story as well. Her adoptive mom died and their neighbors ( Italian family) adopted her yet again. She was loved. She grew to become a secretary for a detective, then a successful business management coach/author- Taurus.
I grew up with my mom’s parents living across the street. Traditionally speaking, daughters taking care of aging parents, gave my mom no choice. They had a plan and my mom complied. I benefited from the huge brunch spread (with ironed tablecloth) anytime. Grandpa grew a small garden, Lithuanian spoken over English, and safe place when dad drank to much.
Astrologically, Both sides of my grandparents are Gemini/ Scorpio Sun’s. One from both sides is on the same day (June 8th- different year). How bout that?
Oddly, I became acutely conscious of family dynamics and had to distance from them. Too painful for me as the “black sheep.” Unconscious projective transference probably transgenerational. They will never understand unless a miracle happens. I live on a different planet. Three siblings with prominent Aries, one with prominent Taurus. The Aries factor – they understand each other. Mother died 3 years ago. Father 98. I was different which made me a target. Their narrative of me has never changed. No matter what – everything just proves it as far as they’re concerned. Shrugs. Oh well.
This is a fascinating thread. Family histories are like nothing else.
My parents also had an interfaith marriage and my Dad was Catholic. The priest told his Mom and sisters they were not allowed to attend the wedding. They didn’t. Even his best friend opted out as best man, something my Dad was still hurt by and talked about into his 90s. Needless to say, My Mom and Dad chose a different, more accepting religion for our family. Like Jessica, our family always felt out of place with our large family of cousins from being a different religion. They are very loving but it took a while to mend hurts. My parents divorced after ~35 years of marriage, stayed divorced for 14 years and then remarried again! His sisters went to the second wedding. Times had changed and they saw an opportunity for redemption. Dad and Mom stayed together until my Mom passed at 83. My Mom had 3 live births and two miscarriages in the middle. I appreciate the question of the OP who asked how the horoscopes of miscarried children figure into family dynamics. I’d never considered this but it is a very astute question. My Mom had just one sister and her family never stayed in touch after my Mom died. I speak to only one cousin on that side now that all the Aunts and Uncles have passed. On my Dad’s side there is a lot of love, only one aunt left, but all those Catholic cousins! I hope those relationships deepen with age. My Dad’s sisters came to both Mom and Dad’s funerals at our Quaker Meeting House. As the only child of 3 with regular spiritual practice, I’m interested to see religion as a core theme of family history in the thread.
Ha on the religion thread:
I was raised in a cult. My parents stayed in 69 years now they’ve remained in it. It is a huge factor!
So many amazing stories!
My paternal grandfather, with whom I share birthday, was one of nine children of a farm family in Canada, most of whom emigrated to the US in the early 1900s. He probably had no idea that his family descended from the original colonists, one ancestor’s marriage to a native sachem’s daughter was the first ever recorded, and his great X 4 uncle signed the Declaration of Independence. But prior to the revolutionary war, that family split and my Loyalist branch relocated to Nova Scotia.
My grandfather married into an equally old New England farm family. After four sons over 15 years, my grandfather disappeared around 1920. When notified of his accidental death in NY in the ’30s, my grandmother refused to claim his body. My dad, the eldest son, never forgave him for leaving him to quit school to support the others.
My mom’s parents were first and second generation Italian immigrants. She was mid 30s when she married my dad, mid 40s. He’d told her that he’d converted to Catholicism years earlier, though he didn’t participate beyond being nagged into attending church on holidays. He died when I was a teen. When mom was in her frail 80s, I discovered that my dad had an earlier marriage of seven years. I casually asked once if she thought he’d ever been married before. She said no, and I never told her. I later obtained the court notes from his divorce to check if I had any undisclosed half-siblings — nope, no children.