Dear Elsa,
My husband & I have been separated for six months. He left me because he felt we needed some time apart, so I filed for DIVORCE. But I wasn’t really sure about following through with it!
However after months went by, I began dating someone else – and they decided to throw me a birthday party. My spouse heard about it. I told him he wasn’t invited several times but he showed up anyway and got into a fight with my male friend right outside of the party!
Now my husband wants to come back; however I found out he is having a BABY with someone else.
What should I do?
Separated
United States
Dear Separated,
You’ve got a true mess here. It sounds as if your husband wanted to go play for awhile but what is good for the goose is not good for the gander. On the other hand, you run off half-cocked and file for divorce without knowing if you even want one. So here’s my advice: Get fully cocked! And to do that you are going to have to slow down.
Now it sounds like you still love your husband to me. And I don’t blame you. I also don’t blame you for getting yourself in a tizzy and filing for a divorce. I am pretty sure I would have done the same thing at your age. Basically you just started shooting the place up. Makes sense to me.
But your Saturn return is coming up and it’s time to start thinking about what kind of adult you want to be. Because as you see, things are serious now, aren’t they? Your husband has created a child with a woman who is not you, and it doesn’t get more sobering than that. So what to do?
Well you’re going to have to search your heart. How much do you love your husband? Do you think you could ever trust him again? What is your play in this? And most of all, what is the right thing to do?
You realize if you stay married, your husband is financially responsible for his child at the very least. And ideally, he will be part of his child’s life. Can you deal with that? Do you love him enough to love his child even if you are not their mother?
I think it is okay either way but you can see this is a grown-up decision so you best grow up to make it. Because whichever choice you make, you are going to live with it for the rest of your life.
So this is where you’re at and what you are going to have to do and I can tell you this: Besides your Saturn return, Pluto will soon be squaring your Moon so there will be no easy way out here. And I don’t mean to scare you. I just want you to know it’s time to downshift and you can expect to stay in the lower gears for some time. And the upside?
Well you really can’t go on the way you’ve been going on, can you? So the universe sends this crisis.
Much love and good luck.
This is definitely a crossroads for you! What do you want out of life? How much do you love this guy? How much are you willing to live with? (Having another woman’s child in your house is no small potato!) Can you do any of this honestly without putting up a facade, a mask that says ‘oh, sure, I’m great!’ when you’re fuming inside?
As a fellow Piscean, I feel your pain, but only YOU can go through this experience. Take Elsa’s advice. Own up. Grow up. Learn from what the universe is offering you.
Good luck!!
you are obviously a very nice woman and he knows that but you deserve better. Be courageous, accept the pain and the grief and ask him to get lost.
hi
i have been with my husband for 16 years and we have childrens so through work i was separeted from him by job very far from him and he cheated on me the man i trusted and take the woman to our house as his girlfriend and they have baby and when friends call me and told me he says was a mistake i must forgive him he didnt inted to do that it was a mistake now what can i do how can i give him love again pls help