I Attract People I Can’t Get Along With

Age of Aquarius

Dear Elsa,

I recently noticed that I have been attracting a lot of Aquarians lately. The last three men I’ve dated have all turned out to have an Aquarian moon (and I suspect there have been a lot more). Also, in female friends, I’ve been attracting a lot of Aquarian suns.

I find that I end up in some sort of throw-down argument with them sooner or later (the men sooner, the women later), and it’s finished between us. With the men, usually because they dropped off the face of the planet the minute I told them I liked them. With the women, it was usually some abstract argument like what happens after death (don’t ask me why that needs to be a friendship-ending argument).

Why do I keep attracting these people with Aquarian energies if I just don’t get along with them? What can I do to attract people I am more likely to get along with long term?

Pisces Moon
United States

Dear Moon,

Whenever we meet the same person over and over again and repeat an experience again and again, invariably there is something we are missing. When you meet the same sign over and over again, you can be sure they have something to teach you –and in the case of Aquarius the lesson is generally around the idea of detaching.

Now in your post, from one angle you are doing nothing wrong.  But if you want to quit having this experience then you’ll have to see the other person’s side of this.

Now with the men, it seems the lesson is that not everyone wants to form a relationship. Being Taurus you may want a relationship but being Aquarius, they may prefer to remain unencumbered. Could you be trying to force them into your paradigm?

The situation with the women sounds similar. Perhaps the Aquarian has had enough of whatever the argument is, because the fact you argue with people and try to control them is shown in your chart in the form of Venus in Aries (loves conflict) opposes by Saturn in Libra (control the other). So there you go.

If you want to stop meeting Aquarians then get this into your head: People are individuals who do whatever they damned well please. Learn that and you will never have to meet an Aquarian again – but more likely you will meet Aquarians but at this point you will be able to appreciate them for what they are and what they have taught you.

Good luck.

4 thoughts on “I Attract People I Can’t Get Along With”

  1. Thank you for answering, Elsa. While I don’t feel like I am trying to control anyone, there’s a strong liklihood that THEY feel I am trying to control them. I will have to make a more conscious effort to make their point of view feel more appreciated.

    (Even if they started it.)


    Ha. (Aries made me say it.)

  2. Hah, I totally went through the Taurus-surrounded-by-Aquas period at ages 20-21. I love them but they are BAD for Bulls. My favorite teacher AND my best friend AND my boyfriend then were Aquas all…and everyone of course ditched my clingy ass. And with your Venus Saturn, you feel the abandonment even more than the Aqua may intend for you to.

    Bottom line with Aquas is, they WILL leave you. Treat them as temporary in your head. You can’t get what you want out of them, so enjoy them like you would a play you got to see, and accept it when the curtain goes up. That’s the lesson, I’m sorry to say…

    I haven’t hung around with an Aqua in years (okay, one ex-roommate, but he’s just got a few non-luminaries there), so this too will pass.

  3. Lol, I have Sun/Venus/Mars in Aries trine Uranus, but I also have Venus/Saturn like you. I think the solution is to share different sides of yourself with different (like-minded) people. For example, have Aquarius friends and Venus/Saturn lovers or vice versa.

    I like Aquarius energy, precisely because it doesn’t require commitment. With these types, you get to be totally free to come and go, do whatever, and not have to explain anything. You get to be weird w/o judgment, unpredictable w/o guilt, and uncommited w/o feeling irresponsible. You get to experiment with each other, with no hard feelings either way. The built-in instability can actually be a relief, because you are free to participate whenever you want. You can’t do that with Venus/Saturn, there is a sense of responsibility, rules, structure, propriety. Take Aquarius as a breath of fresh air, and just enjoy the fun and excitement they bring to your life!

    And the Venus/Saturn part of you that likes to invest long-term in commited partnerships? Well, take it to people who value the same. Use this energy with those who are Saturn types – serious, responsible and slow. They require lots of TIME, and they actually like to stick around once they are sure of you. They won’t ditch you if they’ve decided you are worth investing in, but the catch is you have to conform to a structure, be dependable, responsible and committed. Saturn is just not light and easy like Aquarius.

    Once you recognize the differences in attitude, you can distinguish these two types of energy quite easily and decide what kind of interaction is possible and whether it matches what you want or not.

  4. Good idea, Ana. That makes a lot of sense.

    I think I feel a little schizo on the subject myself, since while I don’t have any Aquarius (other than Juno), Uranus in the first means that I definitely come off as weird to everyone I meet. So I want weird (weird interests me), but with staying power. So far, I’m the only one I know of like that! 🙂

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