Five Years Post A Spirtual Crisis: Stellium In Virgo In The 9th House

virgo virgin stone

Good Day Elsa,

Some years ago, as a teenager and young adult, I belonged to a Christian church and a woman’s group. Due to the influence of these groups, I became someone unrecognizable. I went from being a shy moody girl to being an over zealous, self-righteous, bible quoting, hand waving, and hallelujah shouting fanatic. I quickly absorbed and embraced messages about salvation, holiness, and the need to spread the gospel to save the souls of others.

Many of the older people and my spiritual mentors encouraged me to “seek first the kingdom of God.” I did so with everything I had believing God would reward my dedication. People believed that I would eventually become a missionary, a religious educator, or a minister. I believed it also to the point that after college, I went for an advanced degree in religious studies.

When I graduated, however, I found myself in a spiritual crisis. At 32, I realized that my outer presentation was in conflict with my inner reality and I could not reconcile the two. My thoughts about God, religion and authentic spirituality had changed. I began to see that life was not black and white and had many shades of gray. So, instead of being dishonest with myself and others and pursuing ministry of any form, I walked away.

After 5 years of working with a therapist, I finally feel sane and free. I feel like someone who has emerged from a deep coma and is seeing the world anew. It’s like a veil has been lifted, ya know? Currently, I’m trying to salvage something from those lost years and build a quiet life for myself.

My question is: how do I deal with people from my past when I encounter them? Since I still live in the same area as most of these people and because some of these people are family members and because of social gatherings (funerals, graduations and weddings), I occasionally encounter them. When they realize I am not the person I once was, things get sticky. Their facial expressions and line of questions often betray a sense that they are concerned for my soul and my apparent estrangement from God. They insist on telling me that they are praying for me or that I need to come back to church and “get right with God”. The feeling that I get is that I was once a shining star, now I am a lost prodigal who needs to come home. I was once someone with so much promise and a future, now I am reprobate who wasted my gifts, potential, and “calling.” Someone to be pitied rather than respected for trusting the goodness of the Eternal to guide me on my life’s journey no matter how much it differs from their definition of the “True Path”.

How should I handle these encounters?

Once Was Blind

Dear Once,

It’s very funny. I knew what I was going to have to say to you before I looked at your chart and when it popped up on the screen, with Saturn (oppression) in the 9th house (religion) opposing your Sun (your creative self), your Mercury (your thoughts) and the rest of your stellium in Virgo, well it doesn’t get plainer than this. Or cuter. And neater petite-r for a Virgo like you.

See these advice questions have to apply to more than one person to make it on to this blog. And I was going to tell you that to evolve in the course of your lifetime… be it around religion or anything else, when you are challenged there is really only one thing to do. Stand firm. You must have integrity and I am a good example.

I started identifying myself as an astrologer (as a career) at my Saturn return. Needless to say, I was mocked without mercy. People who knew me before I identified myself this way shook their heads and the new people I met… well most of them took a step back, not forward.

However, I am an astrologer. I will die an astrologer so when my future inl aws told a man who loved me that they would disown him if he married that “astrologer crystal ball person”, I remained an astrologer and I think you can see I understand your circumstance.

And I think everyone needs to stand for what they believe but in your case this could not possibly be any clearer, with a 9th house Saturn. Your beliefs (9th house) must have integrity (Saturn). And here’s the deal with an opposition like yours… which utterly dominates your chart by the way.

When you have an opposition like this in your chart you wind up living one side and projecting the other. So for awhile there, you were the Saturn in the 9th figure. You were the religious (9th house) authority (Saturn). But now you’re on the other end, being a critical thinking Virgo!! And what you have to do is own both sides.

Now I want to tell you, you are a preacher whether you like it or not. And if you go up there and read your post, you can see this is in your writing. There is a cadence of someone preaching. So really, you have not escaped your destiny, have you? You are still going to teach about religion or belief systems, it’s just that you beliefs have morphed!

So when these people come down on you… don’t let that stand. Don’t be the little Virgo maiden crushed by authority (the projected 9th house Saturn). Instead, get on you own box there and preach right back!! Because you have authority when it comes to religion / belief systems. But as long as you try to divorce yourself from this and ignore what is essentially your job on this planet… well you are going to continue to meet the oppressor outside yourself, and why is that?

It’s to force you to define (Saturn) your beliefs (9th house)… to one and all. And I can tell you from personal experience that when you do this eventually the opposition fades and support forms. There isn’t a person in the world who would dare try to tell me I shouldn’t be an astrologer now. What would it get them? A quizzical look?

Good luck.

5 thoughts on “Five Years Post A Spirtual Crisis: Stellium In Virgo In The 9th House”

  1. Dear Blind, I have a slightly different opinion (well… approach or idea) than Elsa’s based on my own life experience.

    “Currently, I’m trying to salvage something from those lost years and build a quiet life for myself.”

    I don’t think you’ve lost anything. You learned so much from your experience not only about yourself but people and religion and faith. And I think you have grown from being a religious person to a person of faith. That’s not an easy journey – it’s so much simpler to “blindly” follow than to “seek”.

    I’m not a religious person; in fact I fight with God and religion on a regular basis. My family and friends span all the various forms of Christianity – I’ve got a Protestant minister, who was also a missionary in Brazil for about 30 years, for an uncle and most of the rest of my family ranges from devout Catholic to agnostic. I’ve found that people of faith, not religion, don’t care whether or not I go to Mass or church – the more dogmatic the more they insist that I get back to God. For the latter, and larger, group, I’ve tried to learn to just smile, say thank you and walk away. There was a time I just wanted to bust those people in the nose for trying to interfere in my life, for looking down on me for not being them. I’ve tried to learn that they mean well, that they care about me, which is why they say and do the things they do. It still bothers me from time to time, but I try to put a kind face on it.

    “The feeling that I get is that I was once a shining star, now I am a lost prodigal who needs to come home. I was once someone with so much promise and a future, now I am reprobate who wasted my gifts, potential, and “calling.” ”

    Elsa is right, you have a gift for teaching (preaching) and I think you could find a way to explain to these people that you’ve changed in your approach but not in your faith. You know the language, the key words to use, to reach them; you can salvage the relationships without feeling as though you are being judged each time you see them. For those who are unwilling to bend, to accept you for you, needed to be weeded out is all. Hopefully, someday, they’ll grow as much as you have.

  2. Excellent advice Elsa and beautifully put Laura Elizabeth!
    Oh, yeah……Once IS an authority in matters of spirituality and boy does it shine through her words. I’d like to add that one cannot attain true awareness and authority without first being burned by the fires of Pluto (wherever PLuto may be in one’s chart). It is like the child who plays with matches (even when mom and dad[voices of authority] tell them not to) get’s burned and then bears the scar of his disobedience.
    Your inner voice is your higher authority, Once, and serves you well. You could not have become an authority on spirituality without feeling first the “burn”.
    This is the way I see these people who look down upon you for leaving the “flock”. They are terribly insecure about who they are and what purpose they serve here on his planet. This fear and self-doubt leads them to rigid and uninspired belief systems that alienate others in order to boost their own sense of self worth.
    They are PROJECTING their fears and doubts about themselves and this is what you are aware of in your brief encounters with them. It has NOTHING to do with you…trust me. It’s all about them.
    You did the most awe inspiring thing a person can do….you dared to rush into a “burning building” to save a soul….your soul. That MAKES you an authority!
    I have the utmost respect for you because of your courage. Good luck with your bright future!

  3. Wow, what a great response Elsa! Another amazing example of astrology at work…
    I can totally appreciate the letter writer’s concerns with how to approach the ‘ghosts of the past.’ I have similar encounters with religious people of my past (I was raised by a Billy Graham convert!) but I am not sure I agree with the sentiment that it is all about the other person. I say this because I think the letter writer is living somewhere small where she is forced to bump into these people on a regular basis. Not fun!
    When I am approached from a person of the past and their shock/horror/pity/tell your parents we pray for them, I feel uncomfortable because I know EXACTLY what the hell is happening. I recognize it because I was trained to do the same! That’s why it’s so uncomfortable.
    And I think that it is one thing to believe people are sheep (which they deff. can be), but another to deal with a real live human spouting off some offensive, depressing vitriol you are sad to recognize as something you once believed to be truth.

    You know, I recognize this behaviour, how do I respond? Well this is the fun part: you get to create that. You get to do something outside of your personal history and religious grooming. And you can base it on what you ‘know.’ It’s so hard to leave dogma behind and transform it into something you can call your own belief system, but I think Once is doing an amazing job.
    And my kudos to you for the therapy! That is hard work and it’s cool you stuck into it.

  4. Oh me…

    Yes, this post makes total sense to me. I also have Saturn in 9th (in Virgo) and North Node in Virgo in the 9th house. I’ve also struggled with being very spiritual (esp with so much Pisces, etc), but growing up as an Atheist. I am still very embarrassed by my spiritual nature as my family is very secular. I don’t talk about my beliefs to my family. I’m working on it. I do think that perhaps even if at first critical, most people (especially those who care for you) will accept your beliefs whether they want to initially or not. They might learn something about themselves in the process.

    Just last night my mom pointed out an artical saying science was a religion. This, I think, is true. We all claim our beliefs and we all have to live with integrity and be true to ourselves. We’ll all be criticised at some time or another, too. A friend of mine (an unusual Catholic) says that in defining your beliefs or defending your beliefs to others you define and affirm them to yourself. This has been one of the toughest lessons of my life and I admit I am not progressing with it as I would like.

    Still, even in my zygote stage of spiritual/belief system learning I can understand why I have to stand tall in my beliefs.

    Good luck to you!!


  5. Elsa,

    I wanted to thank you for taking the time to answer my question. Your response was both validating and encouraging. And, your story about stepping out as an astrologer is fascinating. (You think people reacted nutty when you started your career as an astrologer, imagine how my former circle would react if they knew I had sought an astrologer for advice! 🙂 Laying of hands and anointing oil anyone?)

    It does take courage to declare your beliefs, act on them, and stand firm when everyone around you thinks that your cheese has slipped off the cracker. Your words ring very true also about my need to own both the critical thinking Virgo and the the opposing stuff from Saturn in the 9th. But, I have to tell you, I nearly choked on my tea when I read your statement about being a preacher and not really escaping my destiny.

    Elsa wrote:
    Now I want to tell you, you are a preacher whether you like it or not. And if you go up there and read your post, you can see this is in your writing. There is a cadence of someone preaching. So really, you have not escaped your destiny, have you? You are still going to teach about religion or belief systems, it’s just that you beliefs have morphed!

    When I read that, I felt like the little kid who puts his fingers in his ears and screams “la la la la la. I don’t hear you! la la la la.” I would like to think that what was reflected in the writing was just from the many years I have spent listening to preachers. Osmosis anyone? 🙂

    However, I do get what you’re saying about meeting the oppressor outside of myself if I continue to try to divorce myself from and ignore my job on the planet. In other words, I will continue to be pressured externally to define and stand firm in my beliefs.

    Laura, Jamie, Christine, and Uncle Hannah,

    Thanks for taking the time to provide your own takes on my question and sharing your stories. Your thoughts and insight gave me other ways of looking at the issue.

    All of you are very kind.

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