Sometimes a highly decent person is treated horribly with no provocation on their part. Think of a nerdy kid with a good heart, getting beat on at school. Or anyone who stands out.
I’m talking about a perfectly good-hearted person, being pounded on, simply because their life put them in the situation. You have to show up in 5th grade, right? That’s your big sin, right there. You’re in the room and you’re breathing.
Some months ago a client was telling me of numerous vile things she’d been put through. Just the things that had been said to her made my skin crawl. I felt my blood begin to boil.
I often have just thirty minutes to convey something useful to a client. Years of therapy is not on the table. What am I going to do here?
I found myself advising this gal to gather all this trash up, form it into a ball… when she got off the phone, she should go straight to the toilet and flush it. Literally, flush it.
This was because people don’t go into the toilet to retrieve things, do they? The idea was, she’d puked all this up. She’d expelled it. They next thing to do is to get rid of it permanently.
I feel something like this can actually work. Who is in control? YOU ARE.
I’ve been talking about consolidating your losses (Pluto in Capricorn) for years. It is truly time for a deep purge. If you do this exercise, for Godsakes, rid yourself of your internal trashy burden, permanently!
This is definitely a possible cut off point. Why not get yourself free?
Love this, thank you, Elsa!
It is “Time for a deep purge…”
So timely! I feel like I had a breakthrough with this yesterday. For years, I’ve had this internal guilt for past mistakes and things I wish I could’ve done and not done. I’ve let it dictate my life for too long, and I’m just tired of this burden. I had a heart-to-heart with myself yesterday and God and what I received from that was that it’s okay to let it go (something I feel God has been trying to communicate with me for so long). It has been a little hard to do for all my Cancer that likes to hold on to the past.. if only to be real with myself about who I am, and all the choices that lead me to where I’m at now and to learn from it. But as I slowly forgave myself over the years, I could never quite pinpoint WHY I just could never fully let it go, be free. Until yesterday. I feel like I finally cracked the code. I could never let this guilt, this burden go because I was so upset with myself for not being *perfect*. Aha! But who the hell is perfect! No one gets out of this world unscathed. The only ones that are perfect and leave this world blemish free are (sorry if this is a trigger) babies who unfortunately don’t get to experience a full life. I forgive myself for ever thinking I could be this perfect angel when the truth is, I’m a fallible human, born to make mistakes. And that’s okay! As long as my heart is always in the right place, I can live being justified in that I’m trying my best and living my truth.
Another realization is that, I’ve been depressed for so long that now that the clouds are clear and life is great-getting what I want, I don’t know how or who to be without taking that monster along for the ride. I never thought of it now, but you live so long operating one way that doing a complete 180 can be jarring because who are you if you are not that anymore? True, all my Cancer has held on to the past, but I’ve never been that resistant to change (opposite Uranus). 1H Pluto with Uranus opposite my Cancer stellium, my whole life has been a transformation each decade. But now I know the monster by it’s true name and can call them out when I start to slip.
I’m truly ready to shed that skin, to flush all my gunk holding me back down the drain. I allow myself the grace I give to others. I can finally be free. Thank you, Elsa, for the word <3
This made me cry. I’m so happy for you!
aww wow! you’re going to make me cry haha! Thank you so much for caring <3
It really opened my eyes, to how simple it all is, and how far it traces back – that it's been pretty much the CORE of majority of my problems. I instantly felt lighter after coming to that realization. Afterwards, I took a stress relieving bath and a long shower and it felt like washing it all and becoming anew. So blessed to be here and so thankful to your ever-giving sage words of wisdom, Elsa.
Whatever happens from here on out, I'm just going to continue to have faith.
I usually take Prince Hamlet’s approach…rather than just suffering “the slings and arrowa of outrageous fortune”, tis better “to take arms against a sea of troubles and, by opposing, end them”….
I have a child who is both highly sensitive and quirky with a strong sense of injustice and things being wrong in various institutions and set-ups. Cancer Sun-Moon-Venus stellium in 11th house and Gemini Mercury square Uranus. He´s faced so much bad stuff from teachers and educational establishment all his life, because they saw him as too much of a non-conformist. The constant barrage of “something´s wrong with you, kid” nearly broke his faith in himself …. and broke my confidence as a mother. Maybe it´s time to flush all these slings and arrows coming from the institutions into the toilet … they don´t know him, judge him too narrowly, and I should know better than take this to heart. Transiting Pluto is just completing its square to my 27 Aries Sun.
I’m so sick of Pluto in Capricorn as I’m Cap 27 degree rising and my freaking 2nd Saturn Return.
Thanks for posting.
I do something similar with clients. With all the “past negativity” that they keep recycling in their head, I say grab a pen and paper and just spew on the page. Once you’re done, light the paper on fire and let the smoke take all the “ick” away and clear your head from the old, to make room for the new positive thoughts to take root. You can do this anywhere but I found sitting by the water adds to the release exponentially
I did that in therapy, years ago. My thought in the moment, was this stuff was so vile, it would pollute the air! It needs to be sent to hell, instead!
This blog right here is the story of my time in vetmed. Turns out I was very far from alone. The stories I read this year alone kept getting worse.
I now know that while my intentions were good…a lot of people don’t go into this field to care for animals. They hate people. (I do too but I never treated any colleagues poorly, as many vet techs do.) They do it to prove to themselves and who knows who else that they’re “good people”. Some are psychopaths; many many more are narcissists.
My whole life I feel has been one long Pluto transit. I’m coming off of three huge ones…conjunct the MC (15 Cap), square my Rising (28 Aries) and square my Moon (19 Libra ). I’m kind of used to being treated poorly cuz I stand out. I always did. And it wasn’t until within the last two years that I found out why. ADHD. Neurodivergent. Too freaky for the ones that try so hard to play by society’s rules and blend in.
While this transit was a b***h, it ultimately freed me.
Whoa. This person you wrote about could easily be me. Hi, it’s me, just minding my own business while you annihilate me on a daily basis for 15 years. And why??? Good question… Makes me sad that someone else has suffered so much just as I have. It’s ruthless, ferocious, and consumes you. Belongs in the toilet to be flushed. I have so much to flush, I’m worried it’ll clog. Then I will just find some Drano. 😉 Thanks Elsa!
Dump, and don’t look back!
Perfect! This will be my new mantra – thank you!! I need a t-shirt with this on it. 🙂