I was talking to the soldier a couple days ago…
“I had to get some light bulbs,” I said. “The bulbs in the kitchen burnt out and I didn’t have anymore that were bright enough so I am going to change them and then I may even try to change the porch light.”
“It’s out too?”
“It’s been out for two years. Yep. More than that actually. It’s been out for about two and a half I guess. When it first burned out I climbed up there to change the bulb but could not figure out how to get in there and do it. Must be simple, right? You’d think.”
“Yeah…”
“Well on top of that I was the one who put that porch light up. I did because the people who rented this house had smashed the old one so I replaced it with this one but then I could not remember how to get in the case and change the bulb. Its glass enclosed, see? But anyway I was out there and up on a ladder trying to change it about 2 years ago or so but I couldn’t figure it out. I was just too stressed I guess and I had so many other things to do I gave up in the moment and meant to go back and do that for all this time but have never had the chance.”
No answer.
“Yeah, I am not exactly procrastinating. I just simply do not and have not had time to climb up there and mess with it so I am thinking it’s about time I got the lights on around here. I suppose we have been in mourning here, you know?”
“Yeah.”
“Yeah, well we have been mourning. If we weren’t in mourning that light would be on and I am trying to come out of it so this is one of the things I have to do. It is one of the endless list of tasks I have to try to recover and when you walk up and see that light come on… its motion sensitive, then I guess you’ll know things have improved. It is so sad. It has been so bad around here I have not been able to change a light bulb for 2 years, I am sorry.”
“You don’t have to be sorry, P.”
“Yeah, I know. It just goes to show you that’s all. I It’s just evidence and the evidence is staggering in all directions isn’t it? I am going to figure this out in about 10 years.”
{{{Elsa}}} <3
Oh my….I missed something real big here didn’t I?
Lots of ((LOVE))((LOVE))((LOVE)) to you and your family.
I wish I was close by to change that light bulb for you 🙂
xo
I can’t say anything that hasn’t been said before. We all love you and mourn with you.
This story reminded me so much of the Ceres/Demeter and Proserpina/Persephone myth. When Persephone was taken, the sun receded, the air grew chilly and the leaves fell to the ground. Your bulbs are burning out. You’re living the winter. Spring must return.
I wonder what’s going on with Ceres in your chart.
Lots of love to you Elsa.
I’m sorry.
….it’s odd how these things work sometimes.
on the demeter(ceres)/persephone thing.
hecate is also part of that story. crone goddess of the crossroads and of magic. she’s often depicted with her dogs and a lantern at the crossroads. she’s the first person who was willing to help demeter. all three of them apparently were prominent in the elusianian mysteries….
My thoughts are with you…
i can’t figure any words to say. any real words.
but i hope perhaps there’s a light in the darkness down there….
i gained a lot of comfort from the stars when i hit the bottom of my well. but where you are seems so much deeper.
Those who commented ahead of me said it all, Elsa, but I want you know you and your family (and your Soldier) are all in my thoughts.
So does this turning the light back on mean you feel strong enough to look around you? To heal the dark corners? I hope so, wishing you a bit of strength to hold on to. I suspect you aleady have a bunch but a bit more doesn’t hurt 🙂